I had a dream I was trying to either write papers, finish projects, or study for finals for 5 classes all in one weekend. I don't know if the "Oh shit, I haven't studied for finals" dream is something that stays with you through your whole life, or if it was a reaction to spending time in East Lansing this weekend. While celebrating Mikey B's birthday with some kids from West Ottawa, I definitely felt a little out of place. Not just because I was in East Lansing, but the sense of feeling out of place in a group of college kids in general. I felt it this summer when I worked with a younger staff that would be returning this fall as students while I was already 8 months post-graduation, and I felt it this weekend.
I don't think this would be so bad if I actually felt like an adult in its place. But instead, I am stuck in this crappy state of limbo where I'm too old to act like an irresponsible college kid, but not old enough to have any of the positive trappings of adulthood. I don't fit in running with the college crowd at the bars, and I can't afford to visit and keep up with my friends who are working. None of them are raking in a ton of cash, but at least they have a steady source of income. I went through 5 years at U of M and all I got was this lousy diploma.
I know this is a recurring discussion from me and from my blog, but the holiday season keeps pushing it to the forefront. With every relative or friend who's back in town I see, it means another explanation of how the current state of the economy and school systems has left me subbing part time and working at the Gap, but that despite this I am not a loser.
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