Memory

Memory is a tricky thing.

As great an ability as I think I have to remember things and keep track of stuff in my head, just like everyone else my memory has its flaws and its limits. There is a great deal that I have forgotten or gotten mixed up over the intervening years, but in no regard is memory more uncertain than in remembering yourself at certain points in your life.

Whether or not anyone still reads these diatribes is only a very small part of why I write this - it's as much for myself and my own posterity as it is for any casual reader to indulge their curiosity.

I've spent more time than usual in the last few weeks of break thinking about the past, and more importantly trying to compare it to the present. I'm at no great turning point in my life - I'm actually more content with where I am now than I have been in quite some time - but nevertheless one's thoughts invariably turn toward the future. And one cannot look to the future without taking a moment to recount the past and the course that has led one to the present.

The question on my mind is one of identity. I've never been one to suffer from identity crises and feel the overwhelming urge to reinvent myself, but at the same time I find the line that I trace back to my sense of self is a bit fuzzy in places. People who have gotten to know me since I graduated from college have described me as a smart ass who likes to make his opinion known, a bitter cynic, anal retentive who doesn't know how to be casual and relax, and I'm sure other descriptors that may be even less kind.

I looked back at my high school yearbook and read the notes of people who talked about how I was such a nice, honest, caring, funny guy who was such a great listener. I was humble and lovable, always there to be counted on, selfless and open.

What changed?

I know I've wrestled with my own demons of anger and hopelessness in the last few years, but what other demons have I allowed to win in their battles with my better angels? Did I let the weight of the world crush my hope and idealism? Did I get tired of being the nice guy who finished last in the hopes that a little darkness and self interest would yield greater rewards? Have I turned to the Dark Side?

And yet in the last few days as my own perceptions of myself have been unclear, there have been those who have seen me as I once saw myself and reminded me of that part of me. Have I simply become more guarded, put up greater defenses as a result of the pain that openness brought? Have my anger, my arrogance, my pride all been an act to ward off those who may find my vulnerabilities and weaknesses?

Where do I go from here?

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

It's Official - I Can Never Leave College Again

I have one more class tonight during which I have to watch the last group presentation, and then I have a take-home exam to drop off for another class, but for all intents and purposes I am done for the semester. Granted, the last few weeks have been busy both for classes and for my assistantship (job), but busy in a good way. While I don't like being busy any more than anyone else, I nonetheless can see in myself the rush I get when faced with things to get done. And thus far, my efforts have all been duly rewarded.

A major change since this time last year.

Last November through March was the lowest point I have ever been in my life. I worked my ass off trying to do my job, and the harder I worked the harder I fell when that work did not yield any more positive results. I would drag myself out of bed every morning, suffer through another futile day of trying to educate children who would fit better in a prison than a school, and then come home and lie on the couch from about 5:00 - 10:00 before pushing myself to try and develop another lesson plan. I went to see a counselor about it, and the basic analysis we came up with was that I hated my job and my situation, and that I wouldn't be happy until I could change those things.

I can't argue with him. Thanks, doc.

I haven't felt this empowered and alive since I left Ann Arbor 3 years ago. I thought maybe it was just associated with U of M and my positions there, but I feel the same sense of purpose and drive now that I did there. I actually enjoyed writing 18 pages for an 8-12 page final paper because once I started on it I was "in the zone". I enjoyed getting through a whole list of responsibilities in my office last week. For both my efforts, I got a 100% for the semester in that class, and a great evaluation from my supervisor.

Living back in Holland two years ago, I thought I was losing my mental sharpness. I felt like Charlie Gordon from Flowers for Algernon, knowing that he was regressing to his previously feeble intellect but unable to stop it. Being back in college, I feel like my mind is working at a million miles an hour. I feel like I'm mentally back at full strength again, and sometimes even stronger. It may just be feeding a sense of ego and vanity, but when 30 graduate students look to you during class for an answer or explanation, it tends to promote a sense of pride in one's intellectual abilities.

One year ago I didn't think things could get much worse, and right now things just keep getting better. I booked a flight down to Orlando for a conference this spring, and I'm working on applications to study abroad in Mexico this summer and then spend 6-8 weeks somewhere else on an internship. There's a good chance I could 4.0 my first semester of graduate school.

Much better than writing lesson plans for juvenile delinquents.

The Post-Season

You have to give Lloyd Carr a lot of credit. He's not whining (unlike certain other coaches in the nation). He's not politicking. He hasn't made that face that makes you think he's about ready to kill someone (you know what face I mean). But even though he's not saying it, a lot of other people out there are...

Once again, Michigan Football got screwed.

For your viewing pleasure, go check out these two links. The first was referenced by The Last Angry Man, and comes from ESPN. The second is from a blog I was introduced to that has the most comprehensive (albeit fantastically biased) commentary on all University of Michigan sports.

I don't necessarily think that the national championship should have been a rematch between OSU and U of M... but at the same time I don't think any team but Michigan deserves the #2 spot in the country. The National Championship game was already played, the national rankings have already been decided. What will happen on New Year's Day is nothing but a thinly veiled love fest that the rest of the nation will hold for teams that live in states where the sun shines.

Make no mistake, I hate The Ohio State University, its Buckeyes, and everything that comes out of Ohio. But at the same time, I want to see them crush Florida in a way that no amount of humiliation in the whole of human history has ever been witness to. I want OSU to run up the score to the point that there aren't enough lightbulbs left in the scoreboard to keep track of it all. I want to see the coaches, players, and fans of Florida reduced to nothing but broken, sniffling, and crying little girls.

At the same time, I hope the University of Southern California Trojans live up to the historical namesake of their mascot - their city destroyed, men slaughtered en masse, women and children sold into slavery. In the wilderness of Alaska and Canada, wolverines jump out of trees and maul grizzly bears to death. Wolverines are no larger than other mammals such as badgers, weasels, and beavers - they're just vicious little bastards who know how to kill. I hope to watch the same thing happen in Pasadena.

Go Blue.

Holiday Travels - Addendum

In hopes to rectify the oversight in my account, let me add a brief comment on the subject of the post-moving truck unloading feast at the Texas Roadhouse right down the road from the Captain's new apartment.

We got to the restaurant about halfway through the first quarter of the Michigan/ Ohio State football game and got seats at the bar. Not only did this allow for a better view of the TVs, but we were also fortunate enough to get the attractive bartender (whom the Captain was more intrigued with) and the equally attractive bartending trainee (who more captured my interest) as our servers. We then proceeded to order way too much food at the Captain's insistence as repayment for our services in moving that day.

For future reference, a blooming onion (or whatever name the particular establishment wishes to impart upon such an item) is never so big as when the rest of your party isn't interested in having any. Every time I've ever ordered one in the past it was gone in like 5 minutes, devoured by a group of 6 or more. But when you're staring at it alone, that's a big plate of fried onion.

Holiday Travels

So before they become too far gone I need to recount my travels over the last few weeks before embarking again on a trip to Chicago this weekend with the family.

Two weeks ago I was just trying to make it through two paper deadlines and in to the weekend for my brother's birthday celebration in Chi-Town. I finished the papers and left that Friday morning for the Windy City, eager for a change of scenery and a hearkening back to the party days of undergrad. The trip delivered on both accounts.

Friday night was spent at a local bar in Lincoln Park where $15 got us an unlimited tab for 3 hours. I'm not much of a fan of the well drinks and domestic beers, but as it wasn't my party I wasn't going to complain. I had a few drinks, ate free pizza, and was glad to be around a livelier crowd than my graduate program cohort has been as of late. The fact that the lot of them were recent or soon to be MSU alums won't be held against them - they're still good people most of the time.

Feeling bad for not being able to offer me more than the floor the last time I stayed with him, my brother reserved the aero bed in his apartment for me, thus guaranteeing me a relatively comfortable sleep by the time we finally came back to his apartment. Seeing as we ended up with about 10 people crammed in there for the night, I made sure to claim that aero bed the minute I walked in the door.

When Saturday morning came I couldn't get out of that apartment and away from some of my brother's more annoying friends. As divine providence would have it, one of my brother's friends remembered mention of a diner down the street, so four of us set out in search of breakfast.

I have talked about this diner now for two weeks. We walked in just as a booth was clearing, and things just went up from there. The busboy and waitress cleared the table right off and got us drinks within like two minutes. The coffee was fantastic and if you took your eyes off the mug for even an instant it would be refilled by the time you looked back. The waitress took our order and brought our food out just as quickly, and it was outstanding. The fact that it was all cheaper than a comparable meal at Denny's only sweetened the deal, though I would have paid double for such a perfect dining experience.

From now on whenever I visit my brother, breakfast, lunch, or dinner we are going there.

After breakfast I packed up and headed for the suburbs in an attempt to whittle away at the debt I owe the Captain for all his assistance in moving. I got to Lizle just as he and some coworkers were starting to load the truck, and did as best I could to lend a hand in loading the moving truck. It was either that, or just carve out a kidney as repayment to the Captain.

The rest of Saturday was spent moving the Captain into his new apartment across town and helping him get things squared away. I left Sunday morning knowing I had another paper waiting for me back in Allendale.

Getting through Monday and Tuesday last week after taking my own mini-vacation was brutal. On the one hand I felt reenergized and uplifted by getting away for the weekend, but at the same time knowing that a meeting and two classes were all that stood in the way of Thanksgiving break made those days seem unreasonably long.

Thanksgiving Break was, however, fairly uneventful. Only being half and hour from home makes going home a lot less of a trip than driving 3 hours from Ann Arbor, certainly less taxing than coming back from North Carolina. I spent the break seeing family, doing a bit of shopping, eating a lot, and just like every Thanksgiving in recent memory unable to stop thinking about the due dates and deadlines that remain before the end of the semester and a real break.

And now just as I was two weeks ago, I am trying to finish a paper that is due next Monday before leaving for Chicago for the weekend. This will be different from my brother's birthday celebration, as this trip is the annual family Chicago experience with my mom's siblings and their families. Aside from the benefit of my parents paying for meals, this will be my first journey to Chicago via Amtrak. And really, this will be the first time I've been on a train in close to 15 years.

I'm Sorry, This is Just Awesome...

The opening titles and theme song to Casino Royale.

Bond. James Bond.

Bond is back.

Before coming down to Chi-Town for the weekend (more on that later), I went and saw a midnight screening of Casino Royale Thursday night.

Fantastic.

I admit to a lot of trepidation over the new Bond. I really liked Brosnan as 007, but I could also see the weakness in the stories he was a part of. I advocated that Brosnan could have done at least one more picture, but it makes perfect sense now that in order to bring the franchise back to reality and changing directions, a new actor would be needed. I really didn't like Daniel Craig when I heard the initial casting announcement, but after having seen him in action I can say that I was wrong.

Casino Royale, with Craig's depiction of 007, represents everything good about what a covert agent in the 21st century war on terror should be. Without giving away too much of the plot, there were all of the necessary little things to make it a Bond movie without all the gimmicks and cliches that sometimes run the risk of taking away from the believability of the movie. There was action, intrigue, sex, and suspense without the cheesy gadgets and easily escapable traps.

The new 007 is a bad ass. From the opening sequence until the last frame of the movie, there is no doubt that 007 is a world level professional killer. He's not killing guys with his watch or dropping them in a pit of mutated sea bass - he's taking them down with his bare hands and a bullet to the head. And really, a Walther pistol is the only gadget he needs.

I've read a few articles saying that Casino Royale is "not your father's Bond". I grew up watching Connery, Moore, and Dalton, so I can definitely agree. For what was more or less an origin story with a rougher, dirtier, grittier 007, none of the other actors would have seemed right. But by the end of the movie, you could see Daniel Craig start to become smoother and more suave while still being capable of cold, detached, ruthless efficiency.

If he can keep brining what he brought to Casino Royale, Daniel Craig now has my vote for more Bond movies.

Cancel The Simpsons

Make no mistake - I love The Simpsons for all the years of memorable quotes and innumerable good times. But at the same time, all good things must come to an end. And as with many things in this world, it is far often better to go out in a blaze of glory rather than fade away as a shadow of one's former greatness.

A few years ago, one could tell that the writing staff of The Simpsons had started phoning it in and the series had become derivative. Even worse, as I have described before, the show became a parody of itself. Instead of being the relevant, poignant example of an animated series that defied expectations, it just tried to mooch off of all the success that its imitators had enjoyed. Family Guy was never anything more than a Simpsons rip off that tried to distance itself from its source material by being more offensive, shocking, and unpredictable. Family Guy is a rip-off of The Simpsons, and when The Simpsons tried to make itself more like Family Guy... well, a copy of a copy is never as sharp as the original.

And now The Simpsons has sunk to a new low.

Matt Groening (creator of The Simpsons) is now trying to be just as much of a bleeding heart commie as Seth MacFarlane (creator of Family Guy). Every episode I've seen of the repeats of last season leading up to the new episodes, and the two new episodes thus far, have been chock full of asinine liberal commentary.

It isn't smart. It isn't hip. It's the same tired jokes that every other voicebox in Hollywood has already made 10 times before.

There's nothing left to copy. Nothing else to imitate and mooch off of to attract the next generation of viewers. Just limp along until the movie is released next summer, and let that be the end of it.

Try to go out with some dignity.

It's Time to Put Up or Shut Up

So the Democrats have regained control of congress for the first time in 12 years.

After 12 years in the minority, and 6 years spent whining and complaining about how they don't like what's going on, now is their chance to do something.

I honestly and genuinely hope that the next two years can be a time of progress and real accomplishment in addressing the issues that face our great nation. At face value I have no quarrel with the Democratic Party, but I take great issues to the sections of the party that have embraced a sense of radical liberalism. Just as the Republican party made efforts to purge itself of a lot of the extreme right in 1994, I hope the Democrats can distance themselves from the radical left.

I really want to take Nancy Pelosi at her word that the newly elected majority won't be out for vengeance and personal pettiness, but I still have to admit to having a very hard time trusting her. She's going to have to prove that she's not as crazy as many of her comments over the last few years would lead many of us to believe she is.

I can't really say I disagree with a lot of the proposed ideas that the Democrats have right now...

Pelosi has already outlined a “First Hundred Hours” agenda.

The plan includes promises to reform lobbying, enact the recommendations of the bipartisan 9/11 commission, raise the minimum wage to $7.25 an hour, cut the interest rate on student loans in half, streamline MedicareÂ’s prescription drug program and expand federal funding for stem cell research.

She said she wants to work with Bush on a "new direction" on Iraq.

I'm just wondering why we haven't heard any of this over the last 6 years. Ever since the 2000 election the only thing I've heard from Democrats is that they would always do the opposite of whatever President Bush did. That's not a platform or policy, that's just petty partisanship. So where have they been hiding this laundry list of goals for Congressional control?

Please Democrats, prove me wrong. Prove to me that you really did have some ideas of your own. Prove to me that things will be better under your guidance. Prove to me that you're not as crazy as you have often looked.

You've got what you asked for. Now put up or shut up.

A Geeky Tangent

I know, two posts in one day...

I'm going to take a minute here to indulge my inner fan-boy. For those of you who haven't seen it yet, or even heard about it, the Original Star Trek episodes are being aired with remastered sound and special effects. You'll have to check your local listings... I don't even know what time it's one because I just let TiVo take care of it for me.

At the risk of sounding cliche, this process really is bringing the original Star Trek to a whole new generation. I grew up watching the reruns in the days before Star Trek the Next Generation was around, and even though my dad picked up the entire series on Collector's Edition VHS I still feel like I'm rediscovering the original series for the first time.

The producers aren't remastering the episodes in order - they're just taking it an episode at a time and for right now seem to focusing on the most popular episodes. So far I've seen "Balance of Terror", "The City on the Edge of Forever", "Arena", and "The Trouble with Tribbles". Arguably some of the best episodes of the entire series, and next week's episode is "Mirror, Mirror", another classic.

But unlike the "Greedo shooting first" and "Replacing guns with flashlights and walkie talkies" type fiascos of Star Wars and E.T., those in charge of the Star Trek project aren't doing anything to change the stories or characters. The changes are all visual - updating models with CGI, digitally enhancing the backgrounds, etc. More importantly, the color has been sharpened which gives the episodes a much more modern appearance over the very faded and washed out colors I remember.

And yet even though the episodes only have a few seconds of remastered material, the feeling of watching the episode is one of a totally new experience. Even though I've seen every episode that will be aired, I look forward to finding a new one in my TiVo list every week as if I had never seen it before.

For those of you who have never watched Star Trek before and just can't understand its appeal, I would invite you to check it out now. I can't think of a better way to introduce someone to it.

Hang 'em High

Though I'm still waiting for Kofi Annan, the ACLU, and the worldwide federation of hippies to weigh in on it, the fact remains that justice will be served.

Saddam sentenced to death by hanging

Before any crazy leftists jump in to use this as an opportunity to decry the United States for imposing its morals and values on the rest of the world, let me remind you that we had nothing to do with this trial. If we wanted to execute Saddam ourselves, we could have put a bullet in his head the minute we pulled him out of his spider hole. Instead, we turned him over to his own people to conduct the trial and arrive at the verdict above.

Any arguments about the morality of effectiveness of capital punishment aside, the simple fact is that the man deserves to die. Unlike all the morons who call President Bush and his administration a "fascist regime", I can draw a comparison between Saddam and fascists such as Mussolini, Hitler, and Franco and actually know what I'm talking about. Just like the fascists of the early 20th century, Saddam perpetrated grievous crimes against humanity, and as a result he's getting what's coming to him.

As I said - I can draw a comparison between Saddam and Hitler that actually makes sense. In fact, I did just that more than 4 years ago before the US took action in Iraq.

In his speech before the United Nations, President Bush made the simple truth clear. The Iraqi regime and the danger it poses is precisely the purpose for which the United Nations was created over fifty years ago, learning the lessons of the failure of the League of Nations through its appeasement of Hitler. Following World War I, Germany was forbidden to keep or manufacture weapons for fear of the nation once again becoming hostile. In 1933 Adolf Hitler rose to power through legitimate elections, and in 1936 remilitarized the Rhineland in direct opposition to the terms of the Treaty of Versailles. Germany annexed Austria and the Sudetanland in 1938, and in March of 1939 Germany declared Czechoslovakia a part of the greater German empire. British Prime Minister Chamberlain supported the policy of appeasing Germany, hoping to keep "Peace in our time." In repayment for the Allies' good faith, Germany invaded Poland in September 1939, and in 1940 the blitzkrieg marched through Denmark, The Netherlands, Belgium, Norway and France.

Now let's do a little compare and contrast for all those who do not believe Saddam Hussein is a threat. In 1979 Hussein rose to power in Iraq, and summarily invaded Iran in a pure act of aggression. The war between the two nations lasted until 1988, killing over two million Iranians and one million Iraqis. In August 1990, Hussein declared Kuwait the 19th province of Iraq and invades the nation, and began launching Scud missiles into Tel Aviv and other parts of Israel. In January and February of 1991 Operation Desert Storm liberated Kuwait and forced Iraq into a series of weapons reductions and no-fly zones which were enforced until 1998. In 1997 Iraq forced the withdrawal of UN weapons inspectors, following years of deceit and evasions of the provisions of the inspection mandates. From 1998 to the present Iraqi air defense has repeatedly fired upon British and United States aircraft in the no fly zones. It is no secret that Iraq has weapons labs and research facilities, but what is unknown is the extent to which these weapons have been developed in the secret and "presidential" sites the UN was barred from inspecting. Those sites allowed to be inspected proved that Iraq has the capabilities for biological and chemical warfare, and they have been trying their damnedest to procure weapons grade uranium for use in nuclear weapons. Hussein has given shelter to al-Qaeda, praised Osama Bin Laden as a hero, and celebrated the terrorist attacks of September 11. Given their track record, to assume that they are not planning or are not even considering an attack upon the United States is a fool's delusion. ~ Written 10/22/2002

Seriously, though, I hope that this can bring closure to the Iraqi people, and help to create the unity that its leaders hope for. Saddam represents everything that is violent, hateful, and partisan about themilitantslitants, and the world can hope that his death will deflate their cause.

I Love Halloween

I always loved Halloween as a kid... between costumes and candy what's not to love? I thank Steve for getting me back in to the Halloween spirit in college, because it is too much damn fun.

This morning I saw a guy run out of a building, and then a second later a guy in a full gorilla costume came running out after him. Fantastic.

I may have gotten a little too involved with my costume this year, but I figure I can reuse it or reuse parts of it for years to come. Plus, it's just cool to have an army helmet sitting around.

I hope you all had a wonderful Halloween, and don't forget to go out tomorrow for 75% discounted bags of candy.

Mark Tonight Down in the "Loss" Column

Not a good night tonight... the girl never called back, the Tigers lost game 1 of the World Series, and Papa John's got my order wrong.

Maybe I should write a Country song out of that...

Just an evening full of disappointments.

Am I No Fun?

Back in the 1213 days of undergrad I was known as "Neutral Man". Whether good or bad, my emotional response was always straight and narrow. I never betrayed anger, and joy and excitement could only be gleaned in moments of extraordinary happiness.

Following my breakup with Missy all those years ago, I began to explore my repressed and/or underdeveloped "dark side". For the first time I allowed myself to become visibly and outwardly angry, and for a time I may have grown too comfortable with that darkness.

During the year I spent back in Holland, and the last year spent in North Carolina, that dark visage of anger and bitterness became a more and more regular part of my personality. People who had not known me during high school or undergrad met me during a time that I was constantly frustrated, hopeless, angry, bitter, and otherwise possessing a less-than-sunny disposition. I have a hard time thinking of a day in North Carolina where I wasn't angry.

But since coming back to Michigan, I can't remember the last time I got angry. The darkness seems to have subsided, but as truly satisfied and content as I find myself in my new place and position, the best I can seem to emote is that old "Neutral Man" persona.

In the last few weeks, two different people on two different occasions have told me that I am too uptight and need to "let loose".

Problem is, I don't think I know how.

Make no mistake, I much prefer being seen as calm, professional, mature, and reserved than as the stressed and angry caricature of myself I became last year. But nonetheless, I've been given the gift of two free years back in college and I don't want to miss out on the opportunities this provides me. I cannot fault or dispute anyone who has met me and said they have a hard time imagining me being able to relax and have fun, but I certainly don't want to perpetuate that image.

At what point does one draw the line between stoicism and anhedony? I am actually happy with things for the first time in over two years, but I seem incapable of showing that to the people around me. I'm 25, inside I feel 22 again, but everyone seems to think of me as acting so much more like 35.

If you can think of something fun I should be doing, please feel free to leave a comment.

Goodbye Mr. C.

The world lost a great man today. M. Dean Christopher, band director for West Ottawa High School, lost his fight against cancer this morning.

Mr. C. was that band. Over the years he built it from a small mediocre ensemble to one of the best class AA bands in the state. When people joke about going to the football game just to see the band, it wasn't a joke at West Ottawa. More people in that school district owe more to Mr. C. than anyone can ever measure.

You ask anyone that was a part of that band for all 4 years through high school they'll tell you the same thing - Mr. C. was more than just our band director. Sure he taught us about music and performance, but the real lessons we learned as a part of that band can be seen to this day in the achievements and character of so many of us. Mr. C. Demanded our full effort and dedication to all that we did - not because he was mean or because he liked his position of authority, but because he knew that if he set the bar that high we would not only meet those expectations but exceed them. Sure we were all still afraid of him as freshmen, but as we got older we learned to believe in ourselves and our abilities, to trust in each other, and to accomplish things others wouldn't even attempt thanks to his guidance.

In 1998 the West Ottawa Symphony Band earned a Division 1 rating at State Fesitival for the first time in the school's history. Other bands, other directors, would have chosen easy music to ensure a consistent win. Not us. We played one of the most challenging sets of three pieces any band at any level could have chosen, and we played the hell out of them. Our final piece was 14 minutes long, and we came within less than 2 minutes of the overall time limit for performance. By the time we reached the final measure of that final piece, the entire band was in a state of visible strain and exhaustion from the constant intensity of our selections.

But we did it, because Mr. C. made us believe that we could.

After I graduated from high school, I tried to continue on with music. Just like many others in that band, I tried to join other groups and ensembles in college. But by the end of my Sophomore year I realized that it just wasn't the same, and that band just wasn't as much fun without Dean on the podium.

The only people from high school that I still talk to were in that band with me. As an educator, I always read and talk to others about the importance of lifelong learning and lessons outside the classroom. I haven't touched my trumpet in at least 3 or 4 years, but I know that almost every day I'm living a lesson in character, responsibility, leadership or any other number of strengths that I found in myself through that band.

Thank you Mr. Christopher.

Oktoberfest = Awesome

One of the greatest reasons to be back in Michigan is the glorious celebration known as Oktoberfest in Frankenmuth.

We saw enough old guys who probably fought the Nazis in the '40s who were there and enjoying themselves, so I'm taking that as permission to celebrate traditional German culture. Just as with my feelings on St. Patrick's day, the beer is only a very small portion of the overall celebration for the day.

My checklist for the perfect Oktoberfest was as follows:

1. German beer. (check)
2. Giant Bavarian style pretzel. (mmm... pretzel...check)
3. Sausage. (check)
4. Oompa music played by a band in Lederhosen. (check)
5. University of Michigan beating the ever-loving crap out of Notre Dame. (check)
6. Free samples at the Cheese Haus. (check)
7. Family style fried chicken at Zhender's. (check)
8. Hooking up with a hot chick dressed in a beer maiden costume. (Alright, that one's still on the to-do list...)

But nonetheless, this year's Oktoberfest stacks up as perhaps the best one I've been to. We had a great group, plenty of time to eat and drink all we wanted, perfect weather, and U of M didn't lose to Oregon.

I Like President Bush

When I got my Michigan driver's license and registered to vote, I registered as a Republican. Even though I don't wholly endorse the Republican Party platform, as I moderate conservative I still align myself more closely to the GOP than to any other established political organization. Being back on a college campus, I take something of a private glee in my dirty little secret of calling myself a Republican.

"Your guilty conscience may force you to vote Democratic, but deep down you yearn for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king!" ~ Sideshow Bob after losing the Springfield Mayoral election.

Anyway... the point is that President Bush's recent speech at the American Legion reemphasizes why I have continued to support him despite the ever increasing number of dirty commies around me. Maybe I'm just a jingoistic war-hawk at heart, or maybe my background in history and understanding of the past really does give me some insight. But I have never questioned the need for our intervention in Iraq, and unlike the rest of the armchair Generals and Military Planners I cannot claim to know of a better way to have outlined the current mission.

But if you ever want to know why I still support the mission in Iraq, and why the Bush/Cheney bumper sticker is still on my car, here's why.

"The war we fight today is more than a military conflict. It is the decisive ideological struggle of the 21st century.

"Despite their differences, these groups form the outline of a single movement, a worldwide network of radicals that use terror to kill those who stand in the way of their totalitarian ideology. And the unifying feature of this movement, the link that spans sectarian divisions and local grievances, is the rigid conviction that free societies are a threat to their twisted view of Islam.

"They are successors to fascists, to Nazis, to communists and other totalitarians of the 20th century. And history shows what the outcome will be... This war will be difficult. This war will be long. And this war will end in the defeat of the terrorists.

"Many of these folks are sincere and they're patriotic but they could not be more wrong. If America were to pull out before Iraq could defend itself, the consequences would be absolutely predictable, and absolutely disastrous. We would be handing Iraq over to our worst enemies -- Saddam's former henchmen, armed groups with ties to Iran, and al-Qaida terrorists from all over the world who would suddenly have a base of operations far more valuable than Afghanistan under the Taliban."

~ President Bush before the 88th Annual American Legion National Convention on Thursday, Aug. 31, 2006 in Salt Lake City, Utah.

I'm Kind of a Big Deal

I didn't realize it's been a few weeks since I blogged... that's just the way August's been. Made it through training, then RA/MA training, and opening/move-in week is just about done. It's been long some days, but I'm still more content with things here than I ever was at any point in North Carolina. The only variable left to add to the equation is how things will be once classes start next week, though I'm not too worried about it.

Through the last month what has struck me more than anything else is the feeling that I am actually appreciated and valued by people from so many different levels here. I've had deans and directors of whole departments and offices here on campus come up to me and start a conversation knowing who I am, which is a complete departure from the shunning or mild sense of forced politeness I always received as a first year teacher.

The University seems to have a lot of faith in its graduate staff, and thus far I feel more confident that I know what I'm doing or how to handle things than I ever did at any point last year. The lingering sense of dread and foreboding has been replaced with genuine optimism and confidence, which is a welcome change of pace to say the least.

I'm excited for my job, excited for my classes, excited for the prospects of my internship next summer, and just generally excited to be back on campus.

The Land of Milk and Honey

I am on top of the mountain, and it is good.

It's been a few weeks since I last posted, but now I'm finally getting settled in to my new apartment and my new life as a graduate student.

Frickin' sweet.

The only thing I have to complain about is that fact that I'm sweating my balls off here. I went through 4 of my 5 years as an undergraduate before getting air conditioning at the apartment in Ypsi, but it's been a rough transition back to life without the glorious gift of central air. No amount of fans or windows can ever equal the unabashed delight of frosty humidity-free air.

That being said, everything else about my return to Michigan is great. I figured out how to get to 28th Street, Alpine Avenue, and Rivertown, so I'm pretty much set for all the modern conveniences I'll need. I found Buffalo Wild Wings on both 28th St. and Alpine, so I won't want should the craving for buffalo wings hit. Hopefully we'll get our meal accounts activated tomorrow so I can start getting free food on campus...

Back on campus. Living the dream.

We started training today, and it will continue for the next three weeks. Many hours filled with mission statements, policies and procedures, and all the administrative hoo-hah that one could expect from an academic institution. Good times.

It's been a little wired talking to people who are in their second year of the program, or other first year people who did their undergraduate here when they're under the assumption that I'm from North Carolina. They start explaining something about Grand Rapids or other local information, and I have to come up with new ways to politely say "Yeah, I know - I grew up 20 minutes from here." But so far they're good people, so it's all good.

On that note, it's time to go sweat through another night without air conditioning.