I Hate Sportscasters

I've never been a big sports guy.  I can't rattle off the starting lineup of the 1984 Mets or tell you anyone's passing yards.  And while I will never flip through the channels to see if there's a game on just so that I have some sports to watch, I have become devoted to a few hometown teams over the last few years.  The only sports teams that I follow, per se, are the Wolverines, Redwings, and Tigers. 

You know what the hardest part of watching these games is?  It's not the Redwings playoff losses, or the Ohio State game, or Verlander making errors in the World Series.  As annoying, frustrating, angering, infuriating, and disappointing as all of those things are, they pale in comparison to the true bane of televised sporting events.  

The commentators.  

I don't know what it takes to be a sportscaster.  I can imagine that it is a very competitive field, with every armchair and monday morning quarterback thinking they could do a better job.  But that being said, I really hate a lot of the announcers, commentators, sportscasters, or whatever they're all called.  

When I lived in Ann Arbor I used to watch Redwings games on Hockey Night in Canada because we got the CBC.  Compare that to the coverage during the 2008 Stanley Cup playoffs on US stations, and it's night and day.  The best compliment I could think of to pay a sportscaster is to not notice that they are there.  You get the score, you get the recaps, but they aren't filling the airwaves with their mindless chatter and biased speculation.  You know that the NHL desperately wanted Pittsburgh to win the Stanley Cup so that Sidney Crosby could be the hot young poster boy for the NHL.  Nobody wants to see Detroit win - they're just a bunch of anonymous old veteran players who work hard as a team without a flashy superstar.  When I say nobody, I mean nobody except the entire state of Michigan and millions of other displaced Hockeytown residents around the country.  

And so, what this is all building to - the crux of the argument - I think the sports world hates Detroit.  Despite being named the best sports city in the country, I don't think that the "professionals" in the sports media got the memo.  

This rant is the result of watching the Twins at the Tigers this afternoon and listening to the atrocious Fox commentators do nothing but lavish over the Minnesota Twins.  At one point during the Tigers at bat the entire inning was focused on an interview with Twins pitcher Joe Nathan (a douchebag) with off hand mentions of what was going on during each at bat.  All we heard all game was about the Twins players that were going to the All Star game which, in case you didn't know, will be the last All Star game played at Yankee stadium.  This fact has only been mentioned every 4 seconds, so you may have missed it.  

I hate the Yankees.  It's not like the stadium is behind on the rent and the team is getting evicted.  No, it wasn't as big and as new as the Yankees think they deserve, so they're building a new one that they can make more money from.  That's it.  End of story.  It's not about all the history and tradition of the old stadium, it's about George Steinbrenner making a bit more money next year.

Oh, and I hate the Red Sox too.  

Guess What... Obama is full of Crap.

To be fair, let's count this as flip-flop number 1.  I'm sure he's already done an about face on an issue or policy, but I'll give him a clean slate to start with.  But now, after pledging to campaign with publicly funded money, Obama has now decided instead to reject that money and rely on private funding instead.  

Why?  Because the public funding tops out at $85 million and he wants to be able to raise more money.  In fact, he's shooting for $500 million to campaign with.  He's already confident he can raise over $250 million based on his fund raising in the primaries, so what's another few hundred million dollars?  

All this coming to you straight from the Chicago Tribune, the same Chicago Tribune that has already printed its Obama inauguration edition.  

So libtards, take a guess where that $500 million is going to come from.  It's not coming from the average American worker that you so quaintly believe still represents some noble facet of American idealism.  Sure, a few thousand, maybe even a hundred thousand dollars, might come from the sheep who really believe they're helping to bring about change with their $50 donation on Obama's website.  But at the end of the day, the majority of that money is going to come from......... 

Survey says: Lobbyists and Corporations!  

That's right.... Obama is going to suckle up to the same evil and greedy sources that you claim are ruining this country.  Because, whether you can admit it, believe it, or even understand it, capitalism is still the way the world works.  You need money to do everything, and hope is cheap.  

Barack Obama - selling to the highest bidder.   

The State of Michigan

See, this post's title is a double entendre... it's about the current situation, or state, of Michigan, which is a state. 

 

Sorry....

Anyway, I read this and it made perfect sense to me.  I love Michigan, but I'm getting the hell out of here until someone can fix things.  If it doesn't make sense to you, I'd like to know why.  

MOVING MICHIGAN FORWARD

Are you as tired as I am of the continued partisan politics as usual in Lansing while our future, like our roads this spring, continues to crumble? Are you as saddened as I am to see a continued denial about the reality of the condition of our beautiful state? Are you ready to do something about it?

After having travelled to every corner, and I mean EVERY corner, of this state over the past few years, I have come to the conclusion that we have an amazing state with wonderful people... but maybe Lansing isn't the real problem. Maybe Lansing is a reflection of our current state culture... a culture that still wants to go back to the good old days at the risk of ignoring the reality of the world today.

It appears that over the past few years, many of us were drawn in by grand plans, empty promises and wishful thinking in the hope that we could avoid the harsh reality of change. I understand that feeling, and it isn't new for us either... how many years have we discussed at this conference grand plans to revitalize Downtown Detroit, empty promises to improve transportation and wishful thinking about regional cooperation... only to go home to the reality that nothing changes... so we discuss the same issues the next year in the same rooms, at the same hotel, on the same island.

By the way, the attitude is not limited to this conference. We saw years ago the steadfast denial that foreign car companies would ever make a dent in the US market, but now Toyota is on track to be #1. We heard regular denials that our Detroit Public Schools were failing our children, but today if you are a freshman student at DPS your chance of graduating hovers around 25%. We assured ourselves that high costs of doing business here in Michigan wouldn't drive employers out of our state, but apparently no one told Pfizer, Comerica, Ryan Homes, or Electrolux, so now we are leading the nation in unemployment and have been for 12 months and also now have 5 of the 10 worst American cities for business (according to Forbes magazine) right here in Michigan. We actually believed that Michigan workers had some special right to always enjoy great wages... but if present trends continue, even Alabama will have higher average wages than Michigan in only 3 more years.

So, I have a simple suggestion... DENIAL ENDS TODAY and REAL CHANGE BEGINS TOMORROW... and I have a few specific ideas to offer too:

-Our state government is a reflection of the way our state does business. The rest of the world has done a lot more with a lot less. State government needs to stop complaining and start setting the example.

-Local governments aren't islands any more. Consolidation or Cooperation are your only two options so get to work.

-Public education is too important to our future to trust to any one monopoly. No parent should EVER be forced to send their child to a bad school. It's time to empower parents with choices and students with a real education.

-Taxes do matter. People and businesses with money to invest hate high taxes and will go elsewhere. We may not like it, but that's reality...  so we better fix our tax system now to be attractive, not repulsive, to job creators.

-Fear and violence in our cities is simply unacceptable and having 2 of the 5 most dangerous cities in America right here in Michigan must change. Yes, we have too many non-violent prisoners in our prisons, but we have too many violent criminals on our streets... and it doesn't need to "get a little better"... it needs to end! Our citizens deserve it and if we want families to stay and others to come to Michigan, we simply MUST become a safe place.

-The UAW is a significant force in this state, but if you keep working against companies and not with them, you broadcast another damaging vision of Michigan, and more significantly you will continue to hurt the very members you claim to serve as jobs continue to leave.

-Business leaders need to view foreign countries as opportunities, not threats. So long as we treat them like threats, they WILL CONTINUE to threaten us. You can NEVER win when you only play defense.

-It's time for you to step aside, Kwame. You did some very good things for the city and we are grateful, but you are hurting us, not helping us now.

-No more excuses, just fix our roads. A manufacturing state needs to get its workers to the job and our products to market. This is a critical issue for all of us.

The only question remaining is if we have the courage to stand up straight and look reality in the eye. I believe we do. The people of the Michigan I grew up in had courage to spare, and I believe we have that same kind of courage today. Change is hard, but the results can be very, very good.

Let's envision a Michigan that is so attractive that our children want to stay and find their futures here... and the best and brightest from around the world want to join us. A Michigan where our schools are recognized as the best in the world and are celebrated because EVERY child has the opportunity to learn in a school that excites them to learn.

Let's imagine a Michigan where business men and women travel the world selling their products and telling everyone they meet what a great place Michigan is to start and grow a business. A Michigan that is growing, protecting its beautiful environment and is truly sustainable for future generations.

Michigan has come back before and so have other states. But it takes determination, leadership and an ability to work together. It won't be easy, but we cannot turn our back on our future. Let's find our courage and go for it. The results could amaze the entire world!!

I Should Have Been British... Then I'd be a Whovian

I've gone on about my love for the British before, but now I've got another reason to love them.  I was flipping through the channels one night a few weeks ago and couldn't find anything on, so when I came upon an episode of Doctor Who on PBS I figured I'd give it a shot.  Even as a sci-fi geek I knew nothing about Doctor Who save for a few random references in the context of other science fiction discussions.  

But ever since that episode I've been hooked.

The episode was "The Girl in the Fireplace".  Since then I have Tivo set to record episodes, and just yesterday there was a mini-marathon on Sci-Fi.  It is so quintessentially British, and I love it.  Watching other British TV shows and movies it is clear that Doctor Who is a mainstay of British pop culture, but unfortunately I know most Americans are completely oblivious to it.

Of course I myself am not a true, dedicated Whovian (Doctor Who fan - like Trekie).  The only episodes I've seen have been with the 10th Doctor, David Tennant, and so I don't know if I would be able to see any of the episodes of the previous 9 Doctors with the same affinity.  Britons who have grown up with Doctor Who may not even like David Tennant's portrayal compared to other Doctors of the past... I don't know.  

The real question, though, is between Rose Tyler and Martha Jones....

Here's Rose Tyler, The Doctor's companion in the first episode I saw.  When the BBC brought Doctor Who back in 2005, Rose was the Doctor's companion through the first and second series.  Like the 10th Doctor, she was the first companion I got to know, and so when I started seeing episodes from series 3 with a new companion I was initially comparing her to Rose.  I didn't like her at first, but after a while I started to like her.  The second companion was Martha Jones, who has since been replaced with Donna Noble in the 4th series.  Donna isn't even competition for Rose and Martha. 

And here's Martha Jones.  By the time I watched a few episodes and got to the one where Martha left and Donna came on board, I was sad to see Martha go.  And now that I've been watching episodes out of order as they've been on Sci Fi and PBS, I miss Martha when Rose is there and I miss Rose when Martha is there.

If anyone is looking for Birthday or Christmas gift ideas, series 1 - 3 are available on DVD....

My Birthday is in July... 

A Job I Don't Hate... How Novel

My contract technically ended on May 23rd, but I've still been working for the university.  The agreement is I work 10 hours a week and I get to stay in my apartment for the summer.  10 hours a week of work for free rent - can't beat that. 

My supervisor left for vacation last week, and so I am running the building in his stead.  I'm coordinating all the maintenance work and logistics that need to be done before a summer camp arrives this weekend, and even though those are the parts of my job I enjoy the least I am still enjoying it.  

In a little over a month I'll be in my new position in charge of a building of my own.  I like the position, I like the school, and I like all of my colleagues that I've met so far.  

Maybe all my work has finally paid off.  

Life Update

Firstly, I'm not dead.

I make no excuses for another 6 month absence from the blogosphere.  Last time this happened, I spent most of those 6 months lying on the couch in my living room hating my job, hating my location, and more or less hating my life in what I can only describe as the most depressed I've ever been.  For those keeping score, that was North Carolina.  This time around I wasn't depressed, I was just focused on everything but ye olde blogger.  A week without posting becomes a month, a month becomes a semester, and we end up here. 

So, in the intervening months since my last posting I have done a number of important things.  I wrote my master's thesis... Men's Identity Development in College: A Conceptual Model with Recommendations for Intervention.   I finished my master's degree and graduated from graduate school with a Master's of Education.  And, starting August 1, I will have a new job at Valparaiso University. 

That all sounds well and good, but it now way can explain how much work all of those things required.  First off let me say that grad school wasn't that hard... certainly no more difficult than most of my undergraduate coursework.  But this last semester was rough.  I basically wrote a chapter of my thesis each month, chapter 1 due at the end of January, chapter 2 in February, and chapter 3 in March.  The final finished thesis was due in mid-April, and I think I ended up with three drafts of each chapter through the editing and revisions process.  All the while I was applying for jobs and interviewing at 2 conferences - one in Wisconsin and one in Boston at the end of February and early March.  Not to mention still having to do my job and taking two other classes.  It wasn't hard, it was just time consuming.

All through this, my world became very small.  I've always been one to live in my own head at times, and being so focused on things this semester meant the rest of the world outside of my thesis and other grad school work kind of passed me by.  But, here I am, done now.  I'm moving out of my apartment next weekend, unfortunately to temporary storage and my parents' house for a few weeks until my apartment is ready in Valparaiso.  

I'm in the rather enviable position of graduating from college (again) without having to leave.  I'm just off to another university.   

Quote of the Day

I saw a quote in someone's office today that I really liked:

"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans."

Leave Some Children Behind

So I'm sitting here looking over resident's contract cancellations that they filled out in order to move out of the residence hall. Just one more argument in the case for this generation being completely worthless. As I've said before, some children need to be left behind.

Why are these students moving out? Answer - they suck at life.

"I've had a rough semester." Really? As a first semester freshman? Two months of college was just too much for you so you've gotta throw in the towel? Maybe I'm an intellectual snob and the reason that U of M gets its arrogant attitude, but if GVSU is too hard for you than you need to take a long hard look at your mental faculties and wonder if mindless repetitive tasks isn't a better route for you.

"I need a change of scenery." Translation - I'm moving in with my new boyfriend.

"My room is too small." Well, they may be dumb but at least they're honest.

"I'm moving back to community college because this was too far away from home." If an hour and a half is too far away from home then you need to learn to wipe your own ass and cut the cord.

"I think that having my own room off campus will help me focus on my academics better." Or, it will help me not get caught by my RAs when I'm drinking.

Seriously - millennial generation you need to give us something to work with. Some redeeming qualities, some glimmer of hope. Right now you're just an entire demographic of whiny, self-centered, naiive little children who have this inexplicable sense of entitlement that we're all supposed to indulge. Newsflash - the world doesn't care. The world may in fact hate you, and you need to find a way to deal with that.

Reemerging

Par for the course... I got crazy busy during the last month, so I didn't even read other people's blogs let alone write in my own.

But I'm on break between semesters for a few weeks now, so I'll try to get back in the habit.

Making My Decision

I can't remember what I was reading, but I saw something about various primaries around the country, and as a result I had to do a bit of research to figure out when the Michigan primaries would be held. When I saw that they were in January, I realized I had to figure out who I would vote for, which is a lot more complicated than the election in November will be. Come November '08 I will vote for whoever is running against Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, or John Edwards. Such a decision is not simply a matter of blind partisanship - I just know that there's no way I would support any of those three and that I'll most likely support a much larger percentage of the Republican candidate's platform.

But herein lies the dilemma in voting in the primaries - I have to not only vote for the candidate whose views are most similar to my own, but I also have to take into consideration which candidate is a stronger opponent to the Democratic ticket. And despite the veritable smorgasbord of candidates seeking the party nomination and all the research that could be done into their individual platforms, there are really only three candidates that matter in terms of polling numbers - John McCain, Fred Thompson and Rudy Giuliani. And even with that triumvirate I don't think Thompson has quite the likelihood of success as the other two front-runners.

So really it comes down to McCain versus Giuliani. I like McCain, I really do... but I just don't know if he can do it in November. I think he's lost a lot of political support and capital ever since the 2000 primaries, and I just don't know if he has a strong enough base of support to take the election. He's an American hero, a man of integrity, and a true patriot and I think he would make a fine President... I just don't think it's possible for him to win the election.

But that's not to paint Giuliani as some sort of consolation prize. While I did not pay as close attention to his mayorship of New York City prior to September 11 as I did once the world spotlight was upon him, I was nevertheless impressed with the way he figuratively and literally cleaned up New York City. As his rumored candidacy grew closer and closer to reality I followed its development, curious to see what national policy ides would grow from his experience.

From the start I have liked Giuliani as a candidate. Despite the uproar from the supposed "moral voice" of the party I could care less about his personal life because it has no impact on his ability to govern. And I said the same thing about Bill Clinton, so I'm not just going easy on Rudy because he's a Republican. If his personal indiscretions are really the reason that people don't support him, those people need to look at the bigger picture.

I was flipping through the channels and came in partway through a speech Giuliani was giving to the Federalist Society that was being aired on C-SPAN. I don't know how much I missed, but I caught the last half hour or so. Given the nature of his audience his speech focused primarily on a strict constructionist view of the Constitution versus "judicial activism". Within this context he talked about a variety of issues from terrorism to taxes and everything in between, and I liked him more and more with each additional point he made.

I'll be proud to vote for Rudy three times - once in January, once in November, and once in 2012.

Time and Chance

I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favor to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.
~ Ecclesiastes 9:11

You, my dear readers, are right to call me on my folly. I cannot claim to give up, throw in the towel, and stop fighting the good fight when the battle has only just been joined. I just needed to voice my doubt and despair in the hopes of achieving some measure of catharsis, and having done so I can move on.

Introspection and reflection carry with them an inherently myopic view of the world. One develops tunnel vision, and it takes an outside perspective to see the picture more clearly. I need such reminders, and I am thankful for you that offer them here in this forum.

Giving Up on Love

These last few weeks
I've been confused
sometimes I wonder if
I'm better off alone.

You fall in love
then break your heart.
you fall in love again
it's never ending.

I used to have this friend
who took his fiance
to see Billy Idol
a couple weeks before
their wedding day.
the chick got backstage
and left my friend outside.
next day she called from a hotel
asking for a ride.

I guess I'm giving up on love [x3]
'cause it really kind of sucks

Uninspired
and growing tired
why am I always
so attracted to drama?

So here I am
grown up at 23
will someone tell me
what it takes to be happy?

I play in my band
and write a lot of songs
about relationships
and how mine went wrong.
maybe I'll meet that special
girl along the way
then she'll break my heart
and leave me crying.

I guess I'm giving up on love [x3]
'cause it really kind of sucks

I guess I'm giving up on love
I guess I'm giving up on love
'cause it's not worth it
I guess I'm giving up on love
'cause it really kind of...

The Ataris - "Giving Up on Love"

Beyond being a catchy and over-dramatic title for a song, the lyrics actually hold fairly true. The last few weeks I have been confused, getting over the latest disappointment in my love life. I knew that the situation wasn't perfect and that there was a good chance things were going to turn out the way they did, and yet as much as I thought I prepared myself for that eventuality the reality of it hit me a lot harder than I expected it to. I was miserable for a week, and since then have slowly gotten better along the process of moving on.

Which begs the question - moving on to what? Do I get back on the horse just to repeat the whole process all over again ad infinitum and ad absurdum comforted only by the vague hope that one day it will all work out and make sense and that this whole sad affair will have been worth it? Do I accept that discretion is the better part of valor and resign myself to a life of monastic hermitude? Do I resist the urge to strangle everyone who tells me "It'll happen when you're not looking and least expecting it" and actually take them at their word?

I seem to have developed a self-defeating pattern in relationships that I can't seem to break. With every girl I have dated in college there has been some sort of obstacle - mentally, emotionally, logistically, etc. - that has presented itself and which I have time and again minimized and tried to overcome only to eventually be defeated by. So I spend all the time I'm single anxious and depressed about being single, and then as soon as I start dating someone I'm anxious and depressed about the problems and conflicts that exist in making the relationship work.

If the point of dating is to spend time with different personalities and types of people in order to figure out what it is you're looking for in a long-term partner, I think I've created a pretty good sense of what I'm looking for in a woman. I don't want to be "dating" just for the sake of dating, but at the same time, I'm not looking to find "the one" tomorrow and get married.

Whatever the case, I'm about ready to take myself out of the lineup. I've certainly got enough other stuff going on, especially next semester when I am going to be finishing my thesis and looking for a job. I know nothing worth having ever came easy, but right now it's just impossible.

A Long Way to Fall

This morning was 47 degrees with a clear blue sky... perfect Fall weather. This is really the first perfect Fall day I can think of that we've had this year. Other days it's been 47 degrees, but as a result of clouds, rain, and wind. When the sun has been out it's caused the temperature to raise into the 60s and even 70s in October...... and that's just wrong.

There are few things as nice as a bright, crisp Fall day..........

Take me Home, Jimmy

Over the last year as I have prepared for travel to various conferences and other events around the country I have always downloaded some new music from iTunes to listen to in the airport, plane, etc. as a way of ignoring the unwashed masses of humanity around me. Coincidentally, I think that for both trips I have taken to Orlando for conferences in the last year I have downloaded a bunch of Jimmy Eat World as the new music for my trip. As a result, Jimmy Eat World has become my unofficial soundtrack while traveling. I have The Captain to thank for much of my introduction to their music, especially certain songs that have extended instrumental portions at the end. There's just something incredibly right about falling asleep on an airplane to the last 11 minutes of "Goodbye Sky Harbor", or driving with the moon roof open to the last half of "23".

It's All About Soul

I miss having faith.

Upon leaving a meeting this evening I ended up right behind a group of students who were leaving what I presume was some sort of worship or praise service on campus because the whole time I was walking within earshot of them they were discussing upcoming praise rallies and the lyrics to a particular hymn. As I listened I thought about my own current lack of any affiliation or association with any sort of church or other religious organization, and more importantly how that stands in marked contrast to a time in my life when a good deal of my time was spent either at my church or at various church related functions. I had more faith at 16 then I do at 26, and that's not the easiest realization to come to.

I know that simple attendance or even involvement with organized religion does not automatically equate with faith or belief, and that many people of tremendous faith would not show up on some people's radar as "religious". Religion, belief, and faith are all dubiously and precariously linked, but at the same time they can strengthen and support each other. I don't know if I was a stronger person at 16 than I am now (that's a scary thought), or if the strength of a community of believers helped to foster my own faith, but where once I would turn to faith and hope in time of trouble I now find myself communing with the paler fellows of doubt and despair.

None of us will ever count ourselves so fortunate as to be free from stumbling or struggling in life, and while this may be true there is a great deal of difference in the ways in which we deal with these setbacks and hardships. I know there was a time where I could accept disappointment and failure as a lesson to learn from, or something I could trust that would later prove to be for the best, and that at times I was foolish, young, or naive enough to call myself an optimist.

I now call myself a cynic, am referred to as others as a pessimist, and may even delude myself by claiming the title of realist. All those things that cause me to stumble and struggle, no matter their size or severity, seem to be insurmountable and impossible to recover from. I lose not only faith, but also hope that things will ever get better.

I have been depressed. I spent 4 months lying on my couch, feeling like I had hit rock bottom and that every day was the worst day of my life. I know what it feels like to really have lost all hope that things could ever be better. I'm nowhere close to that, and I'm afraid to think of what it would take to ever put me back there again.

But sufficed to say I have lost faith. I listen to people telling me that things will get better, things happen for a reason, and a whole litany of reassurances that make perfect logical and rational sense. But when one views things from an irrational and emotional place, such reassurances hold little weight or credence. Others may have faith in me, but until I can recover that faith in myself I cannot take comfort in such support.

I want to trust again, have faith renewed, and believe that things will work out for the best. I just can't remember how.

Falling on Deaf Ears

This Tuesday, like so many other geeks around the world, I picked up my copy of Halo 3 for the X-Box 360. The X-Box 360 was my present to myself this past winter after a string of persona victories, and a large part of why I purchased the new gaming system was for the eventual release of Halo 3. I did not buy it at midnight and take Tuesday off of work so that I could play it all night (unlike some people) but I did play for about 3 hours on Wednesday night.

As I was playing online, I realized just how old I am. We heard the voices of younger players and started complaining about having 12 year olds on our team, only to hear the defiant response that they were 13 and not 12. But more so than the age difference, I found myself bothered by the immature and inappropriate language of all the teenagers and other adolescents I knew existed on the other end of the network. I'm not talking about profanity - I don't even notice that unless someone is so incapable of expressing themselves in a coherent manner that all they use to vocalize are curse words.

What bothered me was the use of words like "rape", "queer", "fag" and others without so much as a seconds' thought or hesitation. When I did my student teaching my cooperating teacher made a big deal out of conditioning students out of using words like "fag" and "gay" as commonplace insults, and I guess it had an impact on me. I had never really paid attention to it before, but ever since then I have also tried to discourage such language. Since returning to higher education and spending a great deal of time talking about issues of social justice, I guess I don't know how to turn that kind of thing off any more. I have friends who are gay, and other friends who spend a lot of time working for gay rights issues, so in spending so much time with them I am not able to ignore it any more because I know what it means to them that so many people use those terms interchangeably with any other insult without a second thought. I know I can't really change any one's opinions or behaviors, but it's gotten a lot harder to just let it go unchallenged because I know it's just a lack of ever having thought about it on their part.

But what really got to me was how casually the term "rape" was thrown around. Talking about another player killing them, or recounting one of their own kills, any particularly brutal or surprising kill was described as "Getting raped" or "raping" the other player. I actually called another player out about it, telling him it wasn't cool, but I'm sure he just ignored me.

This semester I started co-advising a group on campus that works with sexual assault prevention and education, and the big reason I got involved is because I want to work to change the attitudes and beliefs of men on campus about what is appropriate and what isn't in relationships and in their daily conversations and interactions with gender issues. I know that most of it can be chalked up to immaturity and "not knowing any better", but after a short while those just become excuses. If males are never challenged about it, they'll never have to think about it, and they can go on the rest of their lives being oblivious to the fact that they are helping to perpetuate and support a culture that allows rape and sexual assault to be topics that are accepted rather than a source of outrage.

I know I'm not going to make a difference calling some 14 year old kid out on X-Box Live. I know that I may be treading the fine line between doing the right thing and becoming that annoying uber-PC activist type. But once you start thinking about it, and thinking about what the language actually implies and how it's nonchalant usage almost normalizes it, I would hope that it provokes at least some sort of uneasiness and cause to reflect.

So I May Have Overreacted...

My dear readers I thank you for your patience and your continuous putting up with me. My most recent post prior to this was nothing more than whining and carrying on in self-pity, and for that I apologize. As it turns out I was, as many people have pointed out over the years, just thinking and worrying about it too much.

The reality of the situation was that her mobile phone died in a way that the Verizon dealer refused to believe her that she had not been submersing the device in water, and she was without access to her phone until that following week. On top of that she counted up the hours she spent at work to a number surpassing 90, so she clearly had a lot to deal with.

She came over Tuesday and we talked at her prompting, and while we don't necessarily have any answers we have a pretty good understanding and I am just fine with that.

Moving right along...

I'm an Anachronism

How can I possibly hope to ever successfully navigate the world of dating and relationships when this is the status of marriage in our society? Clearly I'm not planning on getting married any time soon , but to follow a line of inductive reasoning the complete disregard in our society for what I thought marriage was can only follow to the realms of dating and other relationships.

In layman's terms - I have no idea what the hell I'm doing anymore. That would, of course, presume I ever had an understanding of the dating scene, which by my own admission would be a dubious claim at best.

Once again I find myself spending the whole weekend without hearing back from the girl I thought I had hit things off with.

It's become a predictable pattern. I find a girl that there seems to be some sort of spark with and we start spending time together. Over a few weeks the usual flirtation and cat-and-mouse ensues and the ambiguous line between friendship and something more is crossed in a way that would seem to indicate progress in a certain direction. And yet soon after, whether after a few days or weeks, the bottom falls out for no discernible reason.

I don't get it.

All the signs that would indicate that she (and I'm using the female pronoun to act as a general identifier since this has happened with at least 4 girls I can think of off-hand) is interested and so I respond in kind. Such response is met with seemingly equal enthusiasm, and yet while I seem to gain interest she seems to lose interest at the same rate.

I try to play things cool. I approach the situation with a "let's see what happens" mentality, never betraying any sort of undue commitment with words like "relationship" or "girlfriend". I try to establish a sense of casual dating, and yet time after time it falls apart before it has a chance to even start.

As I have already lamented countless times - I don't get it. It's not like I'm picking up girls at the bar with a clear disposition towards one night stands only to find myself scratching my head when it doesn't work out. And clearly I'm not so unappealing that at least a few girls haven't, from time to time, been attracted to me (though in my lowest moments of self-doubt and insecurity I question the veracity of this claim).

What almost makes it worse is the closeness that exists in my platonic friendships. Being in a program with an extraordinarily unbalanced female to male ratio means there aren't as many guys to hang out with, and as a result I have formed most of my close friendships here in graduate school with my female classmates. And as we have spent our time together and gotten to know each other those friendships have grown stronger, which would presumably indicate that they like me more the more they have gotten to know me. Some have even said the same thing themselves, which leads me to my ultimate conclusion...

I am eminently undateable.

In a paradoxical manner, the more women spend time with me the more they love me, so long as they have a boyfriend, or are attracted to women, or are otherwise safe in the knowledge that we will never date. If they are single there seems to be some sort of threshold that as soon as I start getting interested their interest wanes in an inverse fashion. They could be madly in love with me from afar, and yet as soon as I let it slip that I may be even the slightest bit interested they could suddenly care less.

I'm sure that the resulting comments to this diatribe will spark the debate as to whether this is self-pity or self-awareness. That being said, all I can close with is that if you have a better explanation, I'd like to hear it.

It's About Damn Time

Mitch Albom's recount of yesterday's U of M vs Notre Dame "game"...

I wish I could be happier about it, but the reality is that The University of Michigan didn't win so much as Notre Dame lost that badly. We sure needed the win, but I am hesitant to take it as a sign of a turn-around this season. Still, there are few things as great as kicking the ever-living crap of of Notre Dame's football team.

One of them is Brady Quinn getting hit by a bus.

The other is Charlie Weiss having a heart attack after receiving word that Brady Quinn was hit by a bus, only to stumble into traffic mid-cardiac incident only to himself be hit by a bus.

Go Blue.

Never Forget

Six years ago today the United States of America, and the entire free world, was shaken out of its blissful ignorance and comfort. Despite what the calendar says the Twentieth Century didn't come to a close on December 31, 2000. The new century began on September 11, 2001 just as the Twentieth Century really began on June 28, 1914 with the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand and his wife, thus sparking World War I. All that made sense in the 19th Century and Europe no longer held true after that day in Sarajevo, just as our world has never been the same since that morning on the Eastern Seaboard.

And yet many young, naive fools and even their older and supposedly wiser fellows seem to have forgotten this. For whatever narrow-mindedness or personal bias, they have forgotten. They have forgotten those lives lost. They have forgotten the outrage, the fear, the doubt, and the ultimate unity that brought us all together for too brief a time. They have forgotten that in so many parts of this world there are cowardly individuals who have perverted a religion that is supposed to be a source of peace and love into a justification for their hate. They have forgotten that these individuals live only to subjugate and murder those who oppose them, and instead direct their ill-informed anger at those who seek change and peace.

I just wonder how long it took after December 7, 1941, for our country to forget Pearl Harbor. Our nation seems to have an even shorter national memory and attention span than any other people in history, and I wonder when the solemn promise to never forget will instead be replaced with a vain plea to remember.

I for one will never forget, and hope that others can see past themselves long enough to do the same.