I had something nearly akin to an epiphany today, and I wanted to try and write out my thoughts and feelings on the matter before I lost the initial rush of it all. So, as I assume many of my posts are, it's more for my benefit and posterity than your interest. Though I do appreciate any who still haunt these pages, and welcome your comments.
What led to this epiphany were the recent goings on in my position as a graduate assistant in the last week. I am currently in the process of scheduling interviews with potential internship host sites for the summer, and at the same time I've made some inquiries as to my options as far as graduate positions for next year. Though I was initially disappointed by the fact that no opportunities exist for me to transfer into an advising setting, I now feel a certain sense of rededication to my position within housing. And since the majority of paid internships for the summer are within housing, it all has come together.
What brought about the true insight and inspiration, though, was a meeting I had originally hoped I didn't have to go to this morning. All of the Living Center Directors and graduate students got together in a conference room at 8:00 this morning and tried to place both the new and returning Resident Advisors into staff teams for next fall. The meeting was scheduled to go until noon, and the idea of a four hour meeting this morning held absolutely no appeal to me.
One of the themes that came up during the course of the meeting, and has been articulated on many other occasions by many other people, is the difficulty in both finding and retaining quality male candidates for RA positions. We've had to fire a few so far this year, many others are not returning, and the number of new qualified males is nowhere near enough to make up for these two things.
As it stands right now, I may be the only returning male graduate student to housing next year. And either because of, or in spite of this fact, I had the idea to try and change the pattern and cycle that has become a perennial problem.
I've talked with a few of the living center directors and one of the assistant housing directors about my idea, and all have been supportive of any effort I am willing to put forth in order to identify and hopefully change the problems we've had in finding and holding on to qualified male staff members. This may give me the opportunity to do training, advising, mentoring, and all sorts of other means of involvement that I have been missing sometimes in my position this year.
The issues our department is facing are just smaller examples of a phenomenon that affects the entire field of student affairs from student staff all the way up to professional staff, and as a result it may provide a foundation for my thesis project.
Who knows what I'll be able to do, and what results it may have, but right now this idea feels like the kind of project and commitment that I have been envious of in watching some other grad students in the program. It's something I have a vested interest in, something I believe I have the skills and background for, and something that I hope I will be proud to have been responsible for.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Friday, January 05, 2007
True Colors
During our staff training today we took a personality assessment known as the "True Colors" test. It is based on the Myers-Briggs typology which defines 16 different personality types, and Myers-Briggs is itself based on the theories of Carl Jung. There are 4 different colors - Green, Blue, Orange, and Gold - each color representing a different combination of personality traits, interests, preferences, and values. No one color is better than another, and everyone has their own spectrum of which colors are brightest and palest, indicating which types more or less define them.
Green was my brightest color, closely followed by gold. Orange was my palest color, and Blue ended up in the middle. Here's a description of each:
Green expresses itself psychologically as human will in operation: as persistence and determination. Green is an expression of firmness and consistency. Its strength can lead to a resistance to change if it is not proven that the change will work or is warranted. Those with Green as a Primary Color value their intellect and capabilities above all else. Comfort in these areas creates a sense of personal security and self-esteem.
Green characteristics seek to increase the certainty of their own values through being assertive and requiring differences from others in intellectual areas. They are rarely settled in their countenance, since they depend upon information rather than feelings to create a sense of well-being. Green expresses the grounding of theory and data in its practical applications and creative constructs.
Gold is the body's natural perceptions. It represents a need to be responsible, to fulfill duties and obligations, to organize and structure our life and that of others. Those with Gold as a Primary Color value being practical and sensible. They believe that people should earn their way in life through work and service to others.
Gold reflects a need to belong through carrying a share of the load in all areas of living. It represents stability, maintenance of the culture and the organization, efficiency, and dependability. It embraces the concepts of home and family with fierce loyalty and faithfulness.
Blue represents calm. Contemplation of this color pacifies the central nervous system. It creates physiological tranquility and psychological contentment. Those with Blue as a Primary Color value balance and harmony. They prefer lives free from tension... settled, united, and secure.
Blue represents loyalty and a sense of belonging, and yet, when friends are involved, a vulnerability. Blue corresponds to depth in feeling and a relaxed sensitivity. It is characterized by empathy, aesthetic experiences, and reflective awareness.
Orange represents energy, consuming physiological potency, power, and strength. Orange is the expression of vital force, of nervous and glandular activity. Thus, it has the meaning of desire and all forms of appetite and craving. Those with Orange as a Primary Color feel the will to achieve results, to win, to be successful. They desire all things that offer intense living and full experience.
Orange generates an impulse toward active doing: sport, struggle, competition and enterprising productivity. In temporal terms, Orange is the present.
Sound pretty accurate to you?
You can take an abbreviated version of the test online here.
Green was my brightest color, closely followed by gold. Orange was my palest color, and Blue ended up in the middle. Here's a description of each:
Green expresses itself psychologically as human will in operation: as persistence and determination. Green is an expression of firmness and consistency. Its strength can lead to a resistance to change if it is not proven that the change will work or is warranted. Those with Green as a Primary Color value their intellect and capabilities above all else. Comfort in these areas creates a sense of personal security and self-esteem.
Green characteristics seek to increase the certainty of their own values through being assertive and requiring differences from others in intellectual areas. They are rarely settled in their countenance, since they depend upon information rather than feelings to create a sense of well-being. Green expresses the grounding of theory and data in its practical applications and creative constructs.
Gold is the body's natural perceptions. It represents a need to be responsible, to fulfill duties and obligations, to organize and structure our life and that of others. Those with Gold as a Primary Color value being practical and sensible. They believe that people should earn their way in life through work and service to others.
Gold reflects a need to belong through carrying a share of the load in all areas of living. It represents stability, maintenance of the culture and the organization, efficiency, and dependability. It embraces the concepts of home and family with fierce loyalty and faithfulness.
Blue represents calm. Contemplation of this color pacifies the central nervous system. It creates physiological tranquility and psychological contentment. Those with Blue as a Primary Color value balance and harmony. They prefer lives free from tension... settled, united, and secure.
Blue represents loyalty and a sense of belonging, and yet, when friends are involved, a vulnerability. Blue corresponds to depth in feeling and a relaxed sensitivity. It is characterized by empathy, aesthetic experiences, and reflective awareness.
Orange represents energy, consuming physiological potency, power, and strength. Orange is the expression of vital force, of nervous and glandular activity. Thus, it has the meaning of desire and all forms of appetite and craving. Those with Orange as a Primary Color feel the will to achieve results, to win, to be successful. They desire all things that offer intense living and full experience.
Orange generates an impulse toward active doing: sport, struggle, competition and enterprising productivity. In temporal terms, Orange is the present.
Sound pretty accurate to you?
You can take an abbreviated version of the test online here.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Memory
Memory is a tricky thing.
As great an ability as I think I have to remember things and keep track of stuff in my head, just like everyone else my memory has its flaws and its limits. There is a great deal that I have forgotten or gotten mixed up over the intervening years, but in no regard is memory more uncertain than in remembering yourself at certain points in your life.
Whether or not anyone still reads these diatribes is only a very small part of why I write this - it's as much for myself and my own posterity as it is for any casual reader to indulge their curiosity.
I've spent more time than usual in the last few weeks of break thinking about the past, and more importantly trying to compare it to the present. I'm at no great turning point in my life - I'm actually more content with where I am now than I have been in quite some time - but nevertheless one's thoughts invariably turn toward the future. And one cannot look to the future without taking a moment to recount the past and the course that has led one to the present.
The question on my mind is one of identity. I've never been one to suffer from identity crises and feel the overwhelming urge to reinvent myself, but at the same time I find the line that I trace back to my sense of self is a bit fuzzy in places. People who have gotten to know me since I graduated from college have described me as a smart ass who likes to make his opinion known, a bitter cynic, anal retentive who doesn't know how to be casual and relax, and I'm sure other descriptors that may be even less kind.
I looked back at my high school yearbook and read the notes of people who talked about how I was such a nice, honest, caring, funny guy who was such a great listener. I was humble and lovable, always there to be counted on, selfless and open.
What changed?
I know I've wrestled with my own demons of anger and hopelessness in the last few years, but what other demons have I allowed to win in their battles with my better angels? Did I let the weight of the world crush my hope and idealism? Did I get tired of being the nice guy who finished last in the hopes that a little darkness and self interest would yield greater rewards? Have I turned to the Dark Side?
And yet in the last few days as my own perceptions of myself have been unclear, there have been those who have seen me as I once saw myself and reminded me of that part of me. Have I simply become more guarded, put up greater defenses as a result of the pain that openness brought? Have my anger, my arrogance, my pride all been an act to ward off those who may find my vulnerabilities and weaknesses?
Where do I go from here?
As great an ability as I think I have to remember things and keep track of stuff in my head, just like everyone else my memory has its flaws and its limits. There is a great deal that I have forgotten or gotten mixed up over the intervening years, but in no regard is memory more uncertain than in remembering yourself at certain points in your life.
Whether or not anyone still reads these diatribes is only a very small part of why I write this - it's as much for myself and my own posterity as it is for any casual reader to indulge their curiosity.
I've spent more time than usual in the last few weeks of break thinking about the past, and more importantly trying to compare it to the present. I'm at no great turning point in my life - I'm actually more content with where I am now than I have been in quite some time - but nevertheless one's thoughts invariably turn toward the future. And one cannot look to the future without taking a moment to recount the past and the course that has led one to the present.
The question on my mind is one of identity. I've never been one to suffer from identity crises and feel the overwhelming urge to reinvent myself, but at the same time I find the line that I trace back to my sense of self is a bit fuzzy in places. People who have gotten to know me since I graduated from college have described me as a smart ass who likes to make his opinion known, a bitter cynic, anal retentive who doesn't know how to be casual and relax, and I'm sure other descriptors that may be even less kind.
I looked back at my high school yearbook and read the notes of people who talked about how I was such a nice, honest, caring, funny guy who was such a great listener. I was humble and lovable, always there to be counted on, selfless and open.
What changed?
I know I've wrestled with my own demons of anger and hopelessness in the last few years, but what other demons have I allowed to win in their battles with my better angels? Did I let the weight of the world crush my hope and idealism? Did I get tired of being the nice guy who finished last in the hopes that a little darkness and self interest would yield greater rewards? Have I turned to the Dark Side?
And yet in the last few days as my own perceptions of myself have been unclear, there have been those who have seen me as I once saw myself and reminded me of that part of me. Have I simply become more guarded, put up greater defenses as a result of the pain that openness brought? Have my anger, my arrogance, my pride all been an act to ward off those who may find my vulnerabilities and weaknesses?
Where do I go from here?
Monday, December 25, 2006
Thursday, December 14, 2006
It's Official - I Can Never Leave College Again
I have one more class tonight during which I have to watch the last group presentation, and then I have a take-home exam to drop off for another class, but for all intents and purposes I am done for the semester. Granted, the last few weeks have been busy both for classes and for my assistantship (job), but busy in a good way. While I don't like being busy any more than anyone else, I nonetheless can see in myself the rush I get when faced with things to get done. And thus far, my efforts have all been duly rewarded.
A major change since this time last year.
Last November through March was the lowest point I have ever been in my life. I worked my ass off trying to do my job, and the harder I worked the harder I fell when that work did not yield any more positive results. I would drag myself out of bed every morning, suffer through another futile day of trying to educate children who would fit better in a prison than a school, and then come home and lie on the couch from about 5:00 - 10:00 before pushing myself to try and develop another lesson plan. I went to see a counselor about it, and the basic analysis we came up with was that I hated my job and my situation, and that I wouldn't be happy until I could change those things.
I can't argue with him. Thanks, doc.
I haven't felt this empowered and alive since I left Ann Arbor 3 years ago. I thought maybe it was just associated with U of M and my positions there, but I feel the same sense of purpose and drive now that I did there. I actually enjoyed writing 18 pages for an 8-12 page final paper because once I started on it I was "in the zone". I enjoyed getting through a whole list of responsibilities in my office last week. For both my efforts, I got a 100% for the semester in that class, and a great evaluation from my supervisor.
Living back in Holland two years ago, I thought I was losing my mental sharpness. I felt like Charlie Gordon from Flowers for Algernon, knowing that he was regressing to his previously feeble intellect but unable to stop it. Being back in college, I feel like my mind is working at a million miles an hour. I feel like I'm mentally back at full strength again, and sometimes even stronger. It may just be feeding a sense of ego and vanity, but when 30 graduate students look to you during class for an answer or explanation, it tends to promote a sense of pride in one's intellectual abilities.
One year ago I didn't think things could get much worse, and right now things just keep getting better. I booked a flight down to Orlando for a conference this spring, and I'm working on applications to study abroad in Mexico this summer and then spend 6-8 weeks somewhere else on an internship. There's a good chance I could 4.0 my first semester of graduate school.
Much better than writing lesson plans for juvenile delinquents.
A major change since this time last year.
Last November through March was the lowest point I have ever been in my life. I worked my ass off trying to do my job, and the harder I worked the harder I fell when that work did not yield any more positive results. I would drag myself out of bed every morning, suffer through another futile day of trying to educate children who would fit better in a prison than a school, and then come home and lie on the couch from about 5:00 - 10:00 before pushing myself to try and develop another lesson plan. I went to see a counselor about it, and the basic analysis we came up with was that I hated my job and my situation, and that I wouldn't be happy until I could change those things.
I can't argue with him. Thanks, doc.
I haven't felt this empowered and alive since I left Ann Arbor 3 years ago. I thought maybe it was just associated with U of M and my positions there, but I feel the same sense of purpose and drive now that I did there. I actually enjoyed writing 18 pages for an 8-12 page final paper because once I started on it I was "in the zone". I enjoyed getting through a whole list of responsibilities in my office last week. For both my efforts, I got a 100% for the semester in that class, and a great evaluation from my supervisor.
Living back in Holland two years ago, I thought I was losing my mental sharpness. I felt like Charlie Gordon from Flowers for Algernon, knowing that he was regressing to his previously feeble intellect but unable to stop it. Being back in college, I feel like my mind is working at a million miles an hour. I feel like I'm mentally back at full strength again, and sometimes even stronger. It may just be feeding a sense of ego and vanity, but when 30 graduate students look to you during class for an answer or explanation, it tends to promote a sense of pride in one's intellectual abilities.
One year ago I didn't think things could get much worse, and right now things just keep getting better. I booked a flight down to Orlando for a conference this spring, and I'm working on applications to study abroad in Mexico this summer and then spend 6-8 weeks somewhere else on an internship. There's a good chance I could 4.0 my first semester of graduate school.
Much better than writing lesson plans for juvenile delinquents.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
The Post-Season
You have to give Lloyd Carr a lot of credit. He's not whining (unlike certain other coaches in the nation). He's not politicking. He hasn't made that face that makes you think he's about ready to kill someone (you know what face I mean). But even though he's not saying it, a lot of other people out there are...
Once again, Michigan Football got screwed.
For your viewing pleasure, go check out these two links. The first was referenced by The Last Angry Man, and comes from ESPN. The second is from a blog I was introduced to that has the most comprehensive (albeit fantastically biased) commentary on all University of Michigan sports.
I don't necessarily think that the national championship should have been a rematch between OSU and U of M... but at the same time I don't think any team but Michigan deserves the #2 spot in the country. The National Championship game was already played, the national rankings have already been decided. What will happen on New Year's Day is nothing but a thinly veiled love fest that the rest of the nation will hold for teams that live in states where the sun shines.
Make no mistake, I hate The Ohio State University, its Buckeyes, and everything that comes out of Ohio. But at the same time, I want to see them crush Florida in a way that no amount of humiliation in the whole of human history has ever been witness to. I want OSU to run up the score to the point that there aren't enough lightbulbs left in the scoreboard to keep track of it all. I want to see the coaches, players, and fans of Florida reduced to nothing but broken, sniffling, and crying little girls.
At the same time, I hope the University of Southern California Trojans live up to the historical namesake of their mascot - their city destroyed, men slaughtered en masse, women and children sold into slavery. In the wilderness of Alaska and Canada, wolverines jump out of trees and maul grizzly bears to death. Wolverines are no larger than other mammals such as badgers, weasels, and beavers - they're just vicious little bastards who know how to kill. I hope to watch the same thing happen in Pasadena.
Go Blue.
Once again, Michigan Football got screwed.
For your viewing pleasure, go check out these two links. The first was referenced by The Last Angry Man, and comes from ESPN. The second is from a blog I was introduced to that has the most comprehensive (albeit fantastically biased) commentary on all University of Michigan sports.
I don't necessarily think that the national championship should have been a rematch between OSU and U of M... but at the same time I don't think any team but Michigan deserves the #2 spot in the country. The National Championship game was already played, the national rankings have already been decided. What will happen on New Year's Day is nothing but a thinly veiled love fest that the rest of the nation will hold for teams that live in states where the sun shines.
Make no mistake, I hate The Ohio State University, its Buckeyes, and everything that comes out of Ohio. But at the same time, I want to see them crush Florida in a way that no amount of humiliation in the whole of human history has ever been witness to. I want OSU to run up the score to the point that there aren't enough lightbulbs left in the scoreboard to keep track of it all. I want to see the coaches, players, and fans of Florida reduced to nothing but broken, sniffling, and crying little girls.
At the same time, I hope the University of Southern California Trojans live up to the historical namesake of their mascot - their city destroyed, men slaughtered en masse, women and children sold into slavery. In the wilderness of Alaska and Canada, wolverines jump out of trees and maul grizzly bears to death. Wolverines are no larger than other mammals such as badgers, weasels, and beavers - they're just vicious little bastards who know how to kill. I hope to watch the same thing happen in Pasadena.
Go Blue.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Holiday Travels - Addendum
In hopes to rectify the oversight in my account, let me add a brief comment on the subject of the post-moving truck unloading feast at the Texas Roadhouse right down the road from the Captain's new apartment.
We got to the restaurant about halfway through the first quarter of the Michigan/ Ohio State football game and got seats at the bar. Not only did this allow for a better view of the TVs, but we were also fortunate enough to get the attractive bartender (whom the Captain was more intrigued with) and the equally attractive bartending trainee (who more captured my interest) as our servers. We then proceeded to order way too much food at the Captain's insistence as repayment for our services in moving that day.
For future reference, a blooming onion (or whatever name the particular establishment wishes to impart upon such an item) is never so big as when the rest of your party isn't interested in having any. Every time I've ever ordered one in the past it was gone in like 5 minutes, devoured by a group of 6 or more. But when you're staring at it alone, that's a big plate of fried onion.
We got to the restaurant about halfway through the first quarter of the Michigan/ Ohio State football game and got seats at the bar. Not only did this allow for a better view of the TVs, but we were also fortunate enough to get the attractive bartender (whom the Captain was more intrigued with) and the equally attractive bartending trainee (who more captured my interest) as our servers. We then proceeded to order way too much food at the Captain's insistence as repayment for our services in moving that day.
For future reference, a blooming onion (or whatever name the particular establishment wishes to impart upon such an item) is never so big as when the rest of your party isn't interested in having any. Every time I've ever ordered one in the past it was gone in like 5 minutes, devoured by a group of 6 or more. But when you're staring at it alone, that's a big plate of fried onion.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Holiday Travels
So before they become too far gone I need to recount my travels over the last few weeks before embarking again on a trip to Chicago this weekend with the family.
Two weeks ago I was just trying to make it through two paper deadlines and in to the weekend for my brother's birthday celebration in Chi-Town. I finished the papers and left that Friday morning for the Windy City, eager for a change of scenery and a hearkening back to the party days of undergrad. The trip delivered on both accounts.
Friday night was spent at a local bar in Lincoln Park where $15 got us an unlimited tab for 3 hours. I'm not much of a fan of the well drinks and domestic beers, but as it wasn't my party I wasn't going to complain. I had a few drinks, ate free pizza, and was glad to be around a livelier crowd than my graduate program cohort has been as of late. The fact that the lot of them were recent or soon to be MSU alums won't be held against them - they're still good people most of the time.
Feeling bad for not being able to offer me more than the floor the last time I stayed with him, my brother reserved the aero bed in his apartment for me, thus guaranteeing me a relatively comfortable sleep by the time we finally came back to his apartment. Seeing as we ended up with about 10 people crammed in there for the night, I made sure to claim that aero bed the minute I walked in the door.
When Saturday morning came I couldn't get out of that apartment and away from some of my brother's more annoying friends. As divine providence would have it, one of my brother's friends remembered mention of a diner down the street, so four of us set out in search of breakfast.
I have talked about this diner now for two weeks. We walked in just as a booth was clearing, and things just went up from there. The busboy and waitress cleared the table right off and got us drinks within like two minutes. The coffee was fantastic and if you took your eyes off the mug for even an instant it would be refilled by the time you looked back. The waitress took our order and brought our food out just as quickly, and it was outstanding. The fact that it was all cheaper than a comparable meal at Denny's only sweetened the deal, though I would have paid double for such a perfect dining experience.
From now on whenever I visit my brother, breakfast, lunch, or dinner we are going there.
After breakfast I packed up and headed for the suburbs in an attempt to whittle away at the debt I owe the Captain for all his assistance in moving. I got to Lizle just as he and some coworkers were starting to load the truck, and did as best I could to lend a hand in loading the moving truck. It was either that, or just carve out a kidney as repayment to the Captain.
The rest of Saturday was spent moving the Captain into his new apartment across town and helping him get things squared away. I left Sunday morning knowing I had another paper waiting for me back in Allendale.
Getting through Monday and Tuesday last week after taking my own mini-vacation was brutal. On the one hand I felt reenergized and uplifted by getting away for the weekend, but at the same time knowing that a meeting and two classes were all that stood in the way of Thanksgiving break made those days seem unreasonably long.
Thanksgiving Break was, however, fairly uneventful. Only being half and hour from home makes going home a lot less of a trip than driving 3 hours from Ann Arbor, certainly less taxing than coming back from North Carolina. I spent the break seeing family, doing a bit of shopping, eating a lot, and just like every Thanksgiving in recent memory unable to stop thinking about the due dates and deadlines that remain before the end of the semester and a real break.
And now just as I was two weeks ago, I am trying to finish a paper that is due next Monday before leaving for Chicago for the weekend. This will be different from my brother's birthday celebration, as this trip is the annual family Chicago experience with my mom's siblings and their families. Aside from the benefit of my parents paying for meals, this will be my first journey to Chicago via Amtrak. And really, this will be the first time I've been on a train in close to 15 years.
Two weeks ago I was just trying to make it through two paper deadlines and in to the weekend for my brother's birthday celebration in Chi-Town. I finished the papers and left that Friday morning for the Windy City, eager for a change of scenery and a hearkening back to the party days of undergrad. The trip delivered on both accounts.
Friday night was spent at a local bar in Lincoln Park where $15 got us an unlimited tab for 3 hours. I'm not much of a fan of the well drinks and domestic beers, but as it wasn't my party I wasn't going to complain. I had a few drinks, ate free pizza, and was glad to be around a livelier crowd than my graduate program cohort has been as of late. The fact that the lot of them were recent or soon to be MSU alums won't be held against them - they're still good people most of the time.
Feeling bad for not being able to offer me more than the floor the last time I stayed with him, my brother reserved the aero bed in his apartment for me, thus guaranteeing me a relatively comfortable sleep by the time we finally came back to his apartment. Seeing as we ended up with about 10 people crammed in there for the night, I made sure to claim that aero bed the minute I walked in the door.
When Saturday morning came I couldn't get out of that apartment and away from some of my brother's more annoying friends. As divine providence would have it, one of my brother's friends remembered mention of a diner down the street, so four of us set out in search of breakfast.
I have talked about this diner now for two weeks. We walked in just as a booth was clearing, and things just went up from there. The busboy and waitress cleared the table right off and got us drinks within like two minutes. The coffee was fantastic and if you took your eyes off the mug for even an instant it would be refilled by the time you looked back. The waitress took our order and brought our food out just as quickly, and it was outstanding. The fact that it was all cheaper than a comparable meal at Denny's only sweetened the deal, though I would have paid double for such a perfect dining experience.
From now on whenever I visit my brother, breakfast, lunch, or dinner we are going there.
After breakfast I packed up and headed for the suburbs in an attempt to whittle away at the debt I owe the Captain for all his assistance in moving. I got to Lizle just as he and some coworkers were starting to load the truck, and did as best I could to lend a hand in loading the moving truck. It was either that, or just carve out a kidney as repayment to the Captain.
The rest of Saturday was spent moving the Captain into his new apartment across town and helping him get things squared away. I left Sunday morning knowing I had another paper waiting for me back in Allendale.
Getting through Monday and Tuesday last week after taking my own mini-vacation was brutal. On the one hand I felt reenergized and uplifted by getting away for the weekend, but at the same time knowing that a meeting and two classes were all that stood in the way of Thanksgiving break made those days seem unreasonably long.
Thanksgiving Break was, however, fairly uneventful. Only being half and hour from home makes going home a lot less of a trip than driving 3 hours from Ann Arbor, certainly less taxing than coming back from North Carolina. I spent the break seeing family, doing a bit of shopping, eating a lot, and just like every Thanksgiving in recent memory unable to stop thinking about the due dates and deadlines that remain before the end of the semester and a real break.
And now just as I was two weeks ago, I am trying to finish a paper that is due next Monday before leaving for Chicago for the weekend. This will be different from my brother's birthday celebration, as this trip is the annual family Chicago experience with my mom's siblings and their families. Aside from the benefit of my parents paying for meals, this will be my first journey to Chicago via Amtrak. And really, this will be the first time I've been on a train in close to 15 years.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Bond. James Bond.
Bond is back.
Before coming down to Chi-Town for the weekend (more on that later), I went and saw a midnight screening of Casino Royale Thursday night.
Fantastic.
I admit to a lot of trepidation over the new Bond. I really liked Brosnan as 007, but I could also see the weakness in the stories he was a part of. I advocated that Brosnan could have done at least one more picture, but it makes perfect sense now that in order to bring the franchise back to reality and changing directions, a new actor would be needed. I really didn't like Daniel Craig when I heard the initial casting announcement, but after having seen him in action I can say that I was wrong.
Casino Royale, with Craig's depiction of 007, represents everything good about what a covert agent in the 21st century war on terror should be. Without giving away too much of the plot, there were all of the necessary little things to make it a Bond movie without all the gimmicks and cliches that sometimes run the risk of taking away from the believability of the movie. There was action, intrigue, sex, and suspense without the cheesy gadgets and easily escapable traps.
The new 007 is a bad ass. From the opening sequence until the last frame of the movie, there is no doubt that 007 is a world level professional killer. He's not killing guys with his watch or dropping them in a pit of mutated sea bass - he's taking them down with his bare hands and a bullet to the head. And really, a Walther pistol is the only gadget he needs.
I've read a few articles saying that Casino Royale is "not your father's Bond". I grew up watching Connery, Moore, and Dalton, so I can definitely agree. For what was more or less an origin story with a rougher, dirtier, grittier 007, none of the other actors would have seemed right. But by the end of the movie, you could see Daniel Craig start to become smoother and more suave while still being capable of cold, detached, ruthless efficiency.
If he can keep brining what he brought to Casino Royale, Daniel Craig now has my vote for more Bond movies.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Cancel The Simpsons
Make no mistake - I love The Simpsons for all the years of memorable quotes and innumerable good times. But at the same time, all good things must come to an end. And as with many things in this world, it is far often better to go out in a blaze of glory rather than fade away as a shadow of one's former greatness.
A few years ago, one could tell that the writing staff of The Simpsons had started phoning it in and the series had become derivative. Even worse, as I have described before, the show became a parody of itself. Instead of being the relevant, poignant example of an animated series that defied expectations, it just tried to mooch off of all the success that its imitators had enjoyed. Family Guy was never anything more than a Simpsons rip off that tried to distance itself from its source material by being more offensive, shocking, and unpredictable. Family Guy is a rip-off of The Simpsons, and when The Simpsons tried to make itself more like Family Guy... well, a copy of a copy is never as sharp as the original.
And now The Simpsons has sunk to a new low.
Matt Groening (creator of The Simpsons) is now trying to be just as much of a bleeding heart commie as Seth MacFarlane (creator of Family Guy). Every episode I've seen of the repeats of last season leading up to the new episodes, and the two new episodes thus far, have been chock full of asinine liberal commentary.
It isn't smart. It isn't hip. It's the same tired jokes that every other voicebox in Hollywood has already made 10 times before.
There's nothing left to copy. Nothing else to imitate and mooch off of to attract the next generation of viewers. Just limp along until the movie is released next summer, and let that be the end of it.
Try to go out with some dignity.
A few years ago, one could tell that the writing staff of The Simpsons had started phoning it in and the series had become derivative. Even worse, as I have described before, the show became a parody of itself. Instead of being the relevant, poignant example of an animated series that defied expectations, it just tried to mooch off of all the success that its imitators had enjoyed. Family Guy was never anything more than a Simpsons rip off that tried to distance itself from its source material by being more offensive, shocking, and unpredictable. Family Guy is a rip-off of The Simpsons, and when The Simpsons tried to make itself more like Family Guy... well, a copy of a copy is never as sharp as the original.
And now The Simpsons has sunk to a new low.
Matt Groening (creator of The Simpsons) is now trying to be just as much of a bleeding heart commie as Seth MacFarlane (creator of Family Guy). Every episode I've seen of the repeats of last season leading up to the new episodes, and the two new episodes thus far, have been chock full of asinine liberal commentary.
It isn't smart. It isn't hip. It's the same tired jokes that every other voicebox in Hollywood has already made 10 times before.
There's nothing left to copy. Nothing else to imitate and mooch off of to attract the next generation of viewers. Just limp along until the movie is released next summer, and let that be the end of it.
Try to go out with some dignity.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
It's Time to Put Up or Shut Up
So the Democrats have regained control of congress for the first time in 12 years.
After 12 years in the minority, and 6 years spent whining and complaining about how they don't like what's going on, now is their chance to do something.
I honestly and genuinely hope that the next two years can be a time of progress and real accomplishment in addressing the issues that face our great nation. At face value I have no quarrel with the Democratic Party, but I take great issues to the sections of the party that have embraced a sense of radical liberalism. Just as the Republican party made efforts to purge itself of a lot of the extreme right in 1994, I hope the Democrats can distance themselves from the radical left.
I really want to take Nancy Pelosi at her word that the newly elected majority won't be out for vengeance and personal pettiness, but I still have to admit to having a very hard time trusting her. She's going to have to prove that she's not as crazy as many of her comments over the last few years would lead many of us to believe she is.
I can't really say I disagree with a lot of the proposed ideas that the Democrats have right now...
Pelosi has already outlined a “First Hundred Hours” agenda.
The plan includes promises to reform lobbying, enact the recommendations of the bipartisan 9/11 commission, raise the minimum wage to $7.25 an hour, cut the interest rate on student loans in half, streamline MedicareÂ’s prescription drug program and expand federal funding for stem cell research.
She said she wants to work with Bush on a "new direction" on Iraq.
I'm just wondering why we haven't heard any of this over the last 6 years. Ever since the 2000 election the only thing I've heard from Democrats is that they would always do the opposite of whatever President Bush did. That's not a platform or policy, that's just petty partisanship. So where have they been hiding this laundry list of goals for Congressional control?
Please Democrats, prove me wrong. Prove to me that you really did have some ideas of your own. Prove to me that things will be better under your guidance. Prove to me that you're not as crazy as you have often looked.
You've got what you asked for. Now put up or shut up.
After 12 years in the minority, and 6 years spent whining and complaining about how they don't like what's going on, now is their chance to do something.
I honestly and genuinely hope that the next two years can be a time of progress and real accomplishment in addressing the issues that face our great nation. At face value I have no quarrel with the Democratic Party, but I take great issues to the sections of the party that have embraced a sense of radical liberalism. Just as the Republican party made efforts to purge itself of a lot of the extreme right in 1994, I hope the Democrats can distance themselves from the radical left.
I really want to take Nancy Pelosi at her word that the newly elected majority won't be out for vengeance and personal pettiness, but I still have to admit to having a very hard time trusting her. She's going to have to prove that she's not as crazy as many of her comments over the last few years would lead many of us to believe she is.
I can't really say I disagree with a lot of the proposed ideas that the Democrats have right now...
Pelosi has already outlined a “First Hundred Hours” agenda.
The plan includes promises to reform lobbying, enact the recommendations of the bipartisan 9/11 commission, raise the minimum wage to $7.25 an hour, cut the interest rate on student loans in half, streamline MedicareÂ’s prescription drug program and expand federal funding for stem cell research.
She said she wants to work with Bush on a "new direction" on Iraq.
I'm just wondering why we haven't heard any of this over the last 6 years. Ever since the 2000 election the only thing I've heard from Democrats is that they would always do the opposite of whatever President Bush did. That's not a platform or policy, that's just petty partisanship. So where have they been hiding this laundry list of goals for Congressional control?
Please Democrats, prove me wrong. Prove to me that you really did have some ideas of your own. Prove to me that things will be better under your guidance. Prove to me that you're not as crazy as you have often looked.
You've got what you asked for. Now put up or shut up.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
A Geeky Tangent
I know, two posts in one day...
I'm going to take a minute here to indulge my inner fan-boy. For those of you who haven't seen it yet, or even heard about it, the Original Star Trek episodes are being aired with remastered sound and special effects. You'll have to check your local listings... I don't even know what time it's one because I just let TiVo take care of it for me.
At the risk of sounding cliche, this process really is bringing the original Star Trek to a whole new generation. I grew up watching the reruns in the days before Star Trek the Next Generation was around, and even though my dad picked up the entire series on Collector's Edition VHS I still feel like I'm rediscovering the original series for the first time.
The producers aren't remastering the episodes in order - they're just taking it an episode at a time and for right now seem to focusing on the most popular episodes. So far I've seen "Balance of Terror", "The City on the Edge of Forever", "Arena", and "The Trouble with Tribbles". Arguably some of the best episodes of the entire series, and next week's episode is "Mirror, Mirror", another classic.
But unlike the "Greedo shooting first" and "Replacing guns with flashlights and walkie talkies" type fiascos of Star Wars and E.T., those in charge of the Star Trek project aren't doing anything to change the stories or characters. The changes are all visual - updating models with CGI, digitally enhancing the backgrounds, etc. More importantly, the color has been sharpened which gives the episodes a much more modern appearance over the very faded and washed out colors I remember.
And yet even though the episodes only have a few seconds of remastered material, the feeling of watching the episode is one of a totally new experience. Even though I've seen every episode that will be aired, I look forward to finding a new one in my TiVo list every week as if I had never seen it before.
For those of you who have never watched Star Trek before and just can't understand its appeal, I would invite you to check it out now. I can't think of a better way to introduce someone to it.
Hang 'em High
Though I'm still waiting for Kofi Annan, the ACLU, and the worldwide federation of hippies to weigh in on it, the fact remains that justice will be served.
Saddam sentenced to death by hanging
Before any crazy leftists jump in to use this as an opportunity to decry the United States for imposing its morals and values on the rest of the world, let me remind you that we had nothing to do with this trial. If we wanted to execute Saddam ourselves, we could have put a bullet in his head the minute we pulled him out of his spider hole. Instead, we turned him over to his own people to conduct the trial and arrive at the verdict above.
Any arguments about the morality of effectiveness of capital punishment aside, the simple fact is that the man deserves to die. Unlike all the morons who call President Bush and his administration a "fascist regime", I can draw a comparison between Saddam and fascists such as Mussolini, Hitler, and Franco and actually know what I'm talking about. Just like the fascists of the early 20th century, Saddam perpetrated grievous crimes against humanity, and as a result he's getting what's coming to him.
As I said - I can draw a comparison between Saddam and Hitler that actually makes sense. In fact, I did just that more than 4 years ago before the US took action in Iraq.
In his speech before the United Nations, President Bush made the simple truth clear. The Iraqi regime and the danger it poses is precisely the purpose for which the United Nations was created over fifty years ago, learning the lessons of the failure of the League of Nations through its appeasement of Hitler. Following World War I, Germany was forbidden to keep or manufacture weapons for fear of the nation once again becoming hostile. In 1933 Adolf Hitler rose to power through legitimate elections, and in 1936 remilitarized the Rhineland in direct opposition to the terms of the Treaty of Versailles. Germany annexed Austria and the Sudetanland in 1938, and in March of 1939 Germany declared Czechoslovakia a part of the greater German empire. British Prime Minister Chamberlain supported the policy of appeasing Germany, hoping to keep "Peace in our time." In repayment for the Allies' good faith, Germany invaded Poland in September 1939, and in 1940 the blitzkrieg marched through Denmark, The Netherlands, Belgium, Norway and France.
Now let's do a little compare and contrast for all those who do not believe Saddam Hussein is a threat. In 1979 Hussein rose to power in Iraq, and summarily invaded Iran in a pure act of aggression. The war between the two nations lasted until 1988, killing over two million Iranians and one million Iraqis. In August 1990, Hussein declared Kuwait the 19th province of Iraq and invades the nation, and began launching Scud missiles into Tel Aviv and other parts of Israel. In January and February of 1991 Operation Desert Storm liberated Kuwait and forced Iraq into a series of weapons reductions and no-fly zones which were enforced until 1998. In 1997 Iraq forced the withdrawal of UN weapons inspectors, following years of deceit and evasions of the provisions of the inspection mandates. From 1998 to the present Iraqi air defense has repeatedly fired upon British and United States aircraft in the no fly zones. It is no secret that Iraq has weapons labs and research facilities, but what is unknown is the extent to which these weapons have been developed in the secret and "presidential" sites the UN was barred from inspecting. Those sites allowed to be inspected proved that Iraq has the capabilities for biological and chemical warfare, and they have been trying their damnedest to procure weapons grade uranium for use in nuclear weapons. Hussein has given shelter to al-Qaeda, praised Osama Bin Laden as a hero, and celebrated the terrorist attacks of September 11. Given their track record, to assume that they are not planning or are not even considering an attack upon the United States is a fool's delusion. ~ Written 10/22/2002
Seriously, though, I hope that this can bring closure to the Iraqi people, and help to create the unity that its leaders hope for. Saddam represents everything that is violent, hateful, and partisan about themilitantslitants, and the world can hope that his death will deflate their cause.
Saddam sentenced to death by hanging
Before any crazy leftists jump in to use this as an opportunity to decry the United States for imposing its morals and values on the rest of the world, let me remind you that we had nothing to do with this trial. If we wanted to execute Saddam ourselves, we could have put a bullet in his head the minute we pulled him out of his spider hole. Instead, we turned him over to his own people to conduct the trial and arrive at the verdict above.
Any arguments about the morality of effectiveness of capital punishment aside, the simple fact is that the man deserves to die. Unlike all the morons who call President Bush and his administration a "fascist regime", I can draw a comparison between Saddam and fascists such as Mussolini, Hitler, and Franco and actually know what I'm talking about. Just like the fascists of the early 20th century, Saddam perpetrated grievous crimes against humanity, and as a result he's getting what's coming to him.
As I said - I can draw a comparison between Saddam and Hitler that actually makes sense. In fact, I did just that more than 4 years ago before the US took action in Iraq.
In his speech before the United Nations, President Bush made the simple truth clear. The Iraqi regime and the danger it poses is precisely the purpose for which the United Nations was created over fifty years ago, learning the lessons of the failure of the League of Nations through its appeasement of Hitler. Following World War I, Germany was forbidden to keep or manufacture weapons for fear of the nation once again becoming hostile. In 1933 Adolf Hitler rose to power through legitimate elections, and in 1936 remilitarized the Rhineland in direct opposition to the terms of the Treaty of Versailles. Germany annexed Austria and the Sudetanland in 1938, and in March of 1939 Germany declared Czechoslovakia a part of the greater German empire. British Prime Minister Chamberlain supported the policy of appeasing Germany, hoping to keep "Peace in our time." In repayment for the Allies' good faith, Germany invaded Poland in September 1939, and in 1940 the blitzkrieg marched through Denmark, The Netherlands, Belgium, Norway and France.
Now let's do a little compare and contrast for all those who do not believe Saddam Hussein is a threat. In 1979 Hussein rose to power in Iraq, and summarily invaded Iran in a pure act of aggression. The war between the two nations lasted until 1988, killing over two million Iranians and one million Iraqis. In August 1990, Hussein declared Kuwait the 19th province of Iraq and invades the nation, and began launching Scud missiles into Tel Aviv and other parts of Israel. In January and February of 1991 Operation Desert Storm liberated Kuwait and forced Iraq into a series of weapons reductions and no-fly zones which were enforced until 1998. In 1997 Iraq forced the withdrawal of UN weapons inspectors, following years of deceit and evasions of the provisions of the inspection mandates. From 1998 to the present Iraqi air defense has repeatedly fired upon British and United States aircraft in the no fly zones. It is no secret that Iraq has weapons labs and research facilities, but what is unknown is the extent to which these weapons have been developed in the secret and "presidential" sites the UN was barred from inspecting. Those sites allowed to be inspected proved that Iraq has the capabilities for biological and chemical warfare, and they have been trying their damnedest to procure weapons grade uranium for use in nuclear weapons. Hussein has given shelter to al-Qaeda, praised Osama Bin Laden as a hero, and celebrated the terrorist attacks of September 11. Given their track record, to assume that they are not planning or are not even considering an attack upon the United States is a fool's delusion. ~ Written 10/22/2002
Seriously, though, I hope that this can bring closure to the Iraqi people, and help to create the unity that its leaders hope for. Saddam represents everything that is violent, hateful, and partisan about themilitantslitants, and the world can hope that his death will deflate their cause.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
I Love Halloween
I always loved Halloween as a kid... between costumes and candy what's not to love? I thank Steve for getting me back in to the Halloween spirit in college, because it is too much damn fun.
This morning I saw a guy run out of a building, and then a second later a guy in a full gorilla costume came running out after him. Fantastic.
I may have gotten a little too involved with my costume this year, but I figure I can reuse it or reuse parts of it for years to come. Plus, it's just cool to have an army helmet sitting around.
I hope you all had a wonderful Halloween, and don't forget to go out tomorrow for 75% discounted bags of candy.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Mark Tonight Down in the "Loss" Column
Not a good night tonight... the girl never called back, the Tigers lost game 1 of the World Series, and Papa John's got my order wrong.
Maybe I should write a Country song out of that...
Just an evening full of disappointments.
Maybe I should write a Country song out of that...
Just an evening full of disappointments.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Am I No Fun?
Back in the 1213 days of undergrad I was known as "Neutral Man". Whether good or bad, my emotional response was always straight and narrow. I never betrayed anger, and joy and excitement could only be gleaned in moments of extraordinary happiness.
Following my breakup with Missy all those years ago, I began to explore my repressed and/or underdeveloped "dark side". For the first time I allowed myself to become visibly and outwardly angry, and for a time I may have grown too comfortable with that darkness.
During the year I spent back in Holland, and the last year spent in North Carolina, that dark visage of anger and bitterness became a more and more regular part of my personality. People who had not known me during high school or undergrad met me during a time that I was constantly frustrated, hopeless, angry, bitter, and otherwise possessing a less-than-sunny disposition. I have a hard time thinking of a day in North Carolina where I wasn't angry.
But since coming back to Michigan, I can't remember the last time I got angry. The darkness seems to have subsided, but as truly satisfied and content as I find myself in my new place and position, the best I can seem to emote is that old "Neutral Man" persona.
In the last few weeks, two different people on two different occasions have told me that I am too uptight and need to "let loose".
Problem is, I don't think I know how.
Make no mistake, I much prefer being seen as calm, professional, mature, and reserved than as the stressed and angry caricature of myself I became last year. But nonetheless, I've been given the gift of two free years back in college and I don't want to miss out on the opportunities this provides me. I cannot fault or dispute anyone who has met me and said they have a hard time imagining me being able to relax and have fun, but I certainly don't want to perpetuate that image.
At what point does one draw the line between stoicism and anhedony? I am actually happy with things for the first time in over two years, but I seem incapable of showing that to the people around me. I'm 25, inside I feel 22 again, but everyone seems to think of me as acting so much more like 35.
If you can think of something fun I should be doing, please feel free to leave a comment.
Following my breakup with Missy all those years ago, I began to explore my repressed and/or underdeveloped "dark side". For the first time I allowed myself to become visibly and outwardly angry, and for a time I may have grown too comfortable with that darkness.
During the year I spent back in Holland, and the last year spent in North Carolina, that dark visage of anger and bitterness became a more and more regular part of my personality. People who had not known me during high school or undergrad met me during a time that I was constantly frustrated, hopeless, angry, bitter, and otherwise possessing a less-than-sunny disposition. I have a hard time thinking of a day in North Carolina where I wasn't angry.
But since coming back to Michigan, I can't remember the last time I got angry. The darkness seems to have subsided, but as truly satisfied and content as I find myself in my new place and position, the best I can seem to emote is that old "Neutral Man" persona.
In the last few weeks, two different people on two different occasions have told me that I am too uptight and need to "let loose".
Problem is, I don't think I know how.
Make no mistake, I much prefer being seen as calm, professional, mature, and reserved than as the stressed and angry caricature of myself I became last year. But nonetheless, I've been given the gift of two free years back in college and I don't want to miss out on the opportunities this provides me. I cannot fault or dispute anyone who has met me and said they have a hard time imagining me being able to relax and have fun, but I certainly don't want to perpetuate that image.
At what point does one draw the line between stoicism and anhedony? I am actually happy with things for the first time in over two years, but I seem incapable of showing that to the people around me. I'm 25, inside I feel 22 again, but everyone seems to think of me as acting so much more like 35.
If you can think of something fun I should be doing, please feel free to leave a comment.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Goodbye Mr. C.
The world lost a great man today. M. Dean Christopher, band director for West Ottawa High School, lost his fight against cancer this morning.
Mr. C. was that band. Over the years he built it from a small mediocre ensemble to one of the best class AA bands in the state. When people joke about going to the football game just to see the band, it wasn't a joke at West Ottawa. More people in that school district owe more to Mr. C. than anyone can ever measure.
You ask anyone that was a part of that band for all 4 years through high school they'll tell you the same thing - Mr. C. was more than just our band director. Sure he taught us about music and performance, but the real lessons we learned as a part of that band can be seen to this day in the achievements and character of so many of us. Mr. C. Demanded our full effort and dedication to all that we did - not because he was mean or because he liked his position of authority, but because he knew that if he set the bar that high we would not only meet those expectations but exceed them. Sure we were all still afraid of him as freshmen, but as we got older we learned to believe in ourselves and our abilities, to trust in each other, and to accomplish things others wouldn't even attempt thanks to his guidance.
In 1998 the West Ottawa Symphony Band earned a Division 1 rating at State Fesitival for the first time in the school's history. Other bands, other directors, would have chosen easy music to ensure a consistent win. Not us. We played one of the most challenging sets of three pieces any band at any level could have chosen, and we played the hell out of them. Our final piece was 14 minutes long, and we came within less than 2 minutes of the overall time limit for performance. By the time we reached the final measure of that final piece, the entire band was in a state of visible strain and exhaustion from the constant intensity of our selections.
But we did it, because Mr. C. made us believe that we could.
After I graduated from high school, I tried to continue on with music. Just like many others in that band, I tried to join other groups and ensembles in college. But by the end of my Sophomore year I realized that it just wasn't the same, and that band just wasn't as much fun without Dean on the podium.
The only people from high school that I still talk to were in that band with me. As an educator, I always read and talk to others about the importance of lifelong learning and lessons outside the classroom. I haven't touched my trumpet in at least 3 or 4 years, but I know that almost every day I'm living a lesson in character, responsibility, leadership or any other number of strengths that I found in myself through that band.
Thank you Mr. Christopher.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Oktoberfest = Awesome
One of the greatest reasons to be back in Michigan is the glorious celebration known as Oktoberfest in Frankenmuth.
We saw enough old guys who probably fought the Nazis in the '40s who were there and enjoying themselves, so I'm taking that as permission to celebrate traditional German culture. Just as with my feelings on St. Patrick's day, the beer is only a very small portion of the overall celebration for the day.
My checklist for the perfect Oktoberfest was as follows:
1. German beer. (check)
2. Giant Bavarian style pretzel. (mmm... pretzel...check)
3. Sausage. (check)
4. Oompa music played by a band in Lederhosen. (check)
5. University of Michigan beating the ever-loving crap out of Notre Dame. (check)
6. Free samples at the Cheese Haus. (check)
7. Family style fried chicken at Zhender's. (check)
8. Hooking up with a hot chick dressed in a beer maiden costume. (Alright, that one's still on the to-do list...)
But nonetheless, this year's Oktoberfest stacks up as perhaps the best one I've been to. We had a great group, plenty of time to eat and drink all we wanted, perfect weather, and U of M didn't lose to Oregon.
We saw enough old guys who probably fought the Nazis in the '40s who were there and enjoying themselves, so I'm taking that as permission to celebrate traditional German culture. Just as with my feelings on St. Patrick's day, the beer is only a very small portion of the overall celebration for the day.
My checklist for the perfect Oktoberfest was as follows:
1. German beer. (check)
2. Giant Bavarian style pretzel. (mmm... pretzel...check)
3. Sausage. (check)
4. Oompa music played by a band in Lederhosen. (check)
5. University of Michigan beating the ever-loving crap out of Notre Dame. (check)
6. Free samples at the Cheese Haus. (check)
7. Family style fried chicken at Zhender's. (check)
8. Hooking up with a hot chick dressed in a beer maiden costume. (Alright, that one's still on the to-do list...)
But nonetheless, this year's Oktoberfest stacks up as perhaps the best one I've been to. We had a great group, plenty of time to eat and drink all we wanted, perfect weather, and U of M didn't lose to Oregon.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
I Like President Bush
When I got my Michigan driver's license and registered to vote, I registered as a Republican. Even though I don't wholly endorse the Republican Party platform, as I moderate conservative I still align myself more closely to the GOP than to any other established political organization. Being back on a college campus, I take something of a private glee in my dirty little secret of calling myself a Republican.
"Your guilty conscience may force you to vote Democratic, but deep down you yearn for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king!" ~ Sideshow Bob after losing the Springfield Mayoral election.
Anyway... the point is that President Bush's recent speech at the American Legion reemphasizes why I have continued to support him despite the ever increasing number of dirty commies around me. Maybe I'm just a jingoistic war-hawk at heart, or maybe my background in history and understanding of the past really does give me some insight. But I have never questioned the need for our intervention in Iraq, and unlike the rest of the armchair Generals and Military Planners I cannot claim to know of a better way to have outlined the current mission.
But if you ever want to know why I still support the mission in Iraq, and why the Bush/Cheney bumper sticker is still on my car, here's why.
"The war we fight today is more than a military conflict. It is the decisive ideological struggle of the 21st century.
"Despite their differences, these groups form the outline of a single movement, a worldwide network of radicals that use terror to kill those who stand in the way of their totalitarian ideology. And the unifying feature of this movement, the link that spans sectarian divisions and local grievances, is the rigid conviction that free societies are a threat to their twisted view of Islam.
"They are successors to fascists, to Nazis, to communists and other totalitarians of the 20th century. And history shows what the outcome will be... This war will be difficult. This war will be long. And this war will end in the defeat of the terrorists.
"Many of these folks are sincere and they're patriotic but they could not be more wrong. If America were to pull out before Iraq could defend itself, the consequences would be absolutely predictable, and absolutely disastrous. We would be handing Iraq over to our worst enemies -- Saddam's former henchmen, armed groups with ties to Iran, and al-Qaida terrorists from all over the world who would suddenly have a base of operations far more valuable than Afghanistan under the Taliban."
~ President Bush before the 88th Annual American Legion National Convention on Thursday, Aug. 31, 2006 in Salt Lake City, Utah.
"Your guilty conscience may force you to vote Democratic, but deep down you yearn for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king!" ~ Sideshow Bob after losing the Springfield Mayoral election.
Anyway... the point is that President Bush's recent speech at the American Legion reemphasizes why I have continued to support him despite the ever increasing number of dirty commies around me. Maybe I'm just a jingoistic war-hawk at heart, or maybe my background in history and understanding of the past really does give me some insight. But I have never questioned the need for our intervention in Iraq, and unlike the rest of the armchair Generals and Military Planners I cannot claim to know of a better way to have outlined the current mission.
But if you ever want to know why I still support the mission in Iraq, and why the Bush/Cheney bumper sticker is still on my car, here's why.
"The war we fight today is more than a military conflict. It is the decisive ideological struggle of the 21st century.
"Despite their differences, these groups form the outline of a single movement, a worldwide network of radicals that use terror to kill those who stand in the way of their totalitarian ideology. And the unifying feature of this movement, the link that spans sectarian divisions and local grievances, is the rigid conviction that free societies are a threat to their twisted view of Islam.
"They are successors to fascists, to Nazis, to communists and other totalitarians of the 20th century. And history shows what the outcome will be... This war will be difficult. This war will be long. And this war will end in the defeat of the terrorists.
"Many of these folks are sincere and they're patriotic but they could not be more wrong. If America were to pull out before Iraq could defend itself, the consequences would be absolutely predictable, and absolutely disastrous. We would be handing Iraq over to our worst enemies -- Saddam's former henchmen, armed groups with ties to Iran, and al-Qaida terrorists from all over the world who would suddenly have a base of operations far more valuable than Afghanistan under the Taliban."
~ President Bush before the 88th Annual American Legion National Convention on Thursday, Aug. 31, 2006 in Salt Lake City, Utah.
Friday, August 25, 2006
I'm Kind of a Big Deal
I didn't realize it's been a few weeks since I blogged... that's just the way August's been. Made it through training, then RA/MA training, and opening/move-in week is just about done. It's been long some days, but I'm still more content with things here than I ever was at any point in North Carolina. The only variable left to add to the equation is how things will be once classes start next week, though I'm not too worried about it.
Through the last month what has struck me more than anything else is the feeling that I am actually appreciated and valued by people from so many different levels here. I've had deans and directors of whole departments and offices here on campus come up to me and start a conversation knowing who I am, which is a complete departure from the shunning or mild sense of forced politeness I always received as a first year teacher.
The University seems to have a lot of faith in its graduate staff, and thus far I feel more confident that I know what I'm doing or how to handle things than I ever did at any point last year. The lingering sense of dread and foreboding has been replaced with genuine optimism and confidence, which is a welcome change of pace to say the least.
I'm excited for my job, excited for my classes, excited for the prospects of my internship next summer, and just generally excited to be back on campus.
Through the last month what has struck me more than anything else is the feeling that I am actually appreciated and valued by people from so many different levels here. I've had deans and directors of whole departments and offices here on campus come up to me and start a conversation knowing who I am, which is a complete departure from the shunning or mild sense of forced politeness I always received as a first year teacher.
The University seems to have a lot of faith in its graduate staff, and thus far I feel more confident that I know what I'm doing or how to handle things than I ever did at any point last year. The lingering sense of dread and foreboding has been replaced with genuine optimism and confidence, which is a welcome change of pace to say the least.
I'm excited for my job, excited for my classes, excited for the prospects of my internship next summer, and just generally excited to be back on campus.
Monday, July 31, 2006
The Land of Milk and Honey
I am on top of the mountain, and it is good.
It's been a few weeks since I last posted, but now I'm finally getting settled in to my new apartment and my new life as a graduate student.
Frickin' sweet.
The only thing I have to complain about is that fact that I'm sweating my balls off here. I went through 4 of my 5 years as an undergraduate before getting air conditioning at the apartment in Ypsi, but it's been a rough transition back to life without the glorious gift of central air. No amount of fans or windows can ever equal the unabashed delight of frosty humidity-free air.
That being said, everything else about my return to Michigan is great. I figured out how to get to 28th Street, Alpine Avenue, and Rivertown, so I'm pretty much set for all the modern conveniences I'll need. I found Buffalo Wild Wings on both 28th St. and Alpine, so I won't want should the craving for buffalo wings hit. Hopefully we'll get our meal accounts activated tomorrow so I can start getting free food on campus...
Back on campus. Living the dream.
We started training today, and it will continue for the next three weeks. Many hours filled with mission statements, policies and procedures, and all the administrative hoo-hah that one could expect from an academic institution. Good times.
It's been a little wired talking to people who are in their second year of the program, or other first year people who did their undergraduate here when they're under the assumption that I'm from North Carolina. They start explaining something about Grand Rapids or other local information, and I have to come up with new ways to politely say "Yeah, I know - I grew up 20 minutes from here." But so far they're good people, so it's all good.
On that note, it's time to go sweat through another night without air conditioning.
It's been a few weeks since I last posted, but now I'm finally getting settled in to my new apartment and my new life as a graduate student.
Frickin' sweet.
The only thing I have to complain about is that fact that I'm sweating my balls off here. I went through 4 of my 5 years as an undergraduate before getting air conditioning at the apartment in Ypsi, but it's been a rough transition back to life without the glorious gift of central air. No amount of fans or windows can ever equal the unabashed delight of frosty humidity-free air.
That being said, everything else about my return to Michigan is great. I figured out how to get to 28th Street, Alpine Avenue, and Rivertown, so I'm pretty much set for all the modern conveniences I'll need. I found Buffalo Wild Wings on both 28th St. and Alpine, so I won't want should the craving for buffalo wings hit. Hopefully we'll get our meal accounts activated tomorrow so I can start getting free food on campus...
Back on campus. Living the dream.
We started training today, and it will continue for the next three weeks. Many hours filled with mission statements, policies and procedures, and all the administrative hoo-hah that one could expect from an academic institution. Good times.
It's been a little wired talking to people who are in their second year of the program, or other first year people who did their undergraduate here when they're under the assumption that I'm from North Carolina. They start explaining something about Grand Rapids or other local information, and I have to come up with new ways to politely say "Yeah, I know - I grew up 20 minutes from here." But so far they're good people, so it's all good.
On that note, it's time to go sweat through another night without air conditioning.
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Birthday Shout-Outs
Just wanted to give a shout-out to Jon-Boy and The Captain for taking care of me on my birthday this weekend in Chi-Town.
Though I still have to yell at Jon one more time to get some freakin' furniture and food in his apartment. Just because you graduated from MSU doesn't mean you have to live a Spartan existence for the rest of your life. (For those who don't know about life in ancient Sparta and what the term a "Spartan existence" means - get some culture! Go look it up... now.)
Anyway... thanks for the view of the city, the drinks, Portillos, and showing me a good time for the old quarter-century mark.
Though I still have to yell at Jon one more time to get some freakin' furniture and food in his apartment. Just because you graduated from MSU doesn't mean you have to live a Spartan existence for the rest of your life. (For those who don't know about life in ancient Sparta and what the term a "Spartan existence" means - get some culture! Go look it up... now.)
Anyway... thanks for the view of the city, the drinks, Portillos, and showing me a good time for the old quarter-century mark.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
I'm having one of those headaches with pictures...
"I'm no good at being a slave. I'm thinking about graduate school." ~ Philip J. Fry
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Moving Out and Moving On
Well it's July now, which means I have to start the inevitable packing process. The problem is, most of the stuff I have that I don't regularly use is already packed away, never really unpacked from the move down here. Sure there's a few things in my office that can be put away and readied for transport, but right now the big focus is on what can be thrown away. Anything school related is automatically on the junk pile, but once again I did a pretty good purge this time last year.
As much as I may joke about it, my time spent in North Carolina was not a wasted year of my life. Nor do I feel like a failure for leaving after just one year. On the contrary - it's all proceeding as I had planned. The whole point of coming down here was to get a year of experience under my belt so that I would have a better chance at going somewhere and doing something I wanted to. I don't know if this year of teaching experience directly contributed to me getting my full-ride to graduate school or not, but it certainly didn't hurt.
And as I wrote a few weeks ago - I have that same sense of excitement for going to grad school as I did when going off to college for the first time as an undergraduate. Earlier this fall when I was realizing just how much teaching at my high school sucked, one of my older and wiser coworkers suggested I look in to working at the college level after the way I had talked about my experience working for U of M.
And really, it all goes back to the plan I had all those years ago before I had graduated from college. I always knew I'd go back to graduate school, but figured I'd wait and work for a few years before figuring out what I wanted to do. I knew I could always keep teaching, but that I also had other options more closely related to my psychology degree. As I've said before - I think getting into student services and academic advising may just be the perfect combination of those things.
In talking to the Captain about why he and Jon struggled so much with the first few years of college, and why so many students do, I actually got excited about the prospect of doing my final research project on something like that. I've never liked research, so the fact that I was actually interested in doing it with this subject matter seems like a good sign.
Of course, let's not forget the most important part of all this...
I get to go back to college, and get paid for doing so.
As much as I may joke about it, my time spent in North Carolina was not a wasted year of my life. Nor do I feel like a failure for leaving after just one year. On the contrary - it's all proceeding as I had planned. The whole point of coming down here was to get a year of experience under my belt so that I would have a better chance at going somewhere and doing something I wanted to. I don't know if this year of teaching experience directly contributed to me getting my full-ride to graduate school or not, but it certainly didn't hurt.
And as I wrote a few weeks ago - I have that same sense of excitement for going to grad school as I did when going off to college for the first time as an undergraduate. Earlier this fall when I was realizing just how much teaching at my high school sucked, one of my older and wiser coworkers suggested I look in to working at the college level after the way I had talked about my experience working for U of M.
And really, it all goes back to the plan I had all those years ago before I had graduated from college. I always knew I'd go back to graduate school, but figured I'd wait and work for a few years before figuring out what I wanted to do. I knew I could always keep teaching, but that I also had other options more closely related to my psychology degree. As I've said before - I think getting into student services and academic advising may just be the perfect combination of those things.
In talking to the Captain about why he and Jon struggled so much with the first few years of college, and why so many students do, I actually got excited about the prospect of doing my final research project on something like that. I've never liked research, so the fact that I was actually interested in doing it with this subject matter seems like a good sign.
Of course, let's not forget the most important part of all this...
I get to go back to college, and get paid for doing so.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
How I Spent My Summer Vacation
Tuesday was the last time I ever have to set foot in that high school again. With almost everything already finished the previous Friday, the only actual work I did was backing up all of my lessons/notes/worksheets/etc. onto a CD for the next poor bastard who takes my place. After that it was lunch at the Chinese buffet and a few games of Spades to pass the afternoon until 3:00.
So now what?
I pack out my trash and head back to civilization (Michigan) on July 21. Between now and then, here is the sum total of my goals:
1. Watch the entire Band of Brothers series.
- I went to the local Game Stop to see how much I could get for my X-Box. I haven't played it in months, and my X-Box live account expired. They offered my like $50 in cash or $85 in trade, so trade I did. They had a used copy of the entire series in its tin that looked like it was brand new for $50. So, I picked it up and have thus far made it through 6 of 10 episodes in the week I've had it.
2. Play video games.
- In addition to the DVD set, I also picked up a few used games to round out my trade-in credit. Got Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six 3 and two James Bond games - the Pierce Brosnan modern Bond Everything or Nothing and the retro Sean Connery From Russia with Love. Running around in a white dinner jacket with an SMG is fun...
3. Lose 20 pounds.
- It's more than just wishful thinking... I'm trying to diet and I've been exercising. No more snacking, only drinking water, Special K for breakfast, and about 45 minutes a day in my apartment's fitness center.
4. Make money on eBay.
- In the last two weeks I've made about $550 dollars selling the contents of the boxes in my closet. Take out the shipping costs and eBay fees, and I've still got about $400 in profits so far. Also cuts down on the amount of boxes to move.
5. Packing and moving.
I've got the rental truck reservation. I've got an address in Michigan. Now I just need to get all of my worldly possessions from Point A to Point B.
So now what?
I pack out my trash and head back to civilization (Michigan) on July 21. Between now and then, here is the sum total of my goals:
1. Watch the entire Band of Brothers series.
- I went to the local Game Stop to see how much I could get for my X-Box. I haven't played it in months, and my X-Box live account expired. They offered my like $50 in cash or $85 in trade, so trade I did. They had a used copy of the entire series in its tin that looked like it was brand new for $50. So, I picked it up and have thus far made it through 6 of 10 episodes in the week I've had it.
2. Play video games.
- In addition to the DVD set, I also picked up a few used games to round out my trade-in credit. Got Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six 3 and two James Bond games - the Pierce Brosnan modern Bond Everything or Nothing and the retro Sean Connery From Russia with Love. Running around in a white dinner jacket with an SMG is fun...
3. Lose 20 pounds.
- It's more than just wishful thinking... I'm trying to diet and I've been exercising. No more snacking, only drinking water, Special K for breakfast, and about 45 minutes a day in my apartment's fitness center.
4. Make money on eBay.
- In the last two weeks I've made about $550 dollars selling the contents of the boxes in my closet. Take out the shipping costs and eBay fees, and I've still got about $400 in profits so far. Also cuts down on the amount of boxes to move.
5. Packing and moving.
I've got the rental truck reservation. I've got an address in Michigan. Now I just need to get all of my worldly possessions from Point A to Point B.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Deja vu All Over Again
I feel like a high school senior all over again.
Tomorrow is my last day of exams with the students. I have my 2nd and 4th block classes for their exam, and then the rest of the week is dedicated to cleaning up and closing out the year.
And then it's off to college. Again.
I got my overrides to register for my fall classes, so here's how it looks.
EDG 647 - Theories of College Student Development
Credits: 3
This course examines the major student development theories used by college student affairs practitioners in the higher education environment.
EDG 651 - Higher Education and Student Affairs Functions
Credits: 3
Provides an overview of the historical development of American higher education and an introduction to the evolution of student affairs functions in the academy.
EDG 652 - The American College Student
Credits: 3
Examines the characteristics, values, expectations, and needs of contemporary college students in the context of student development theory.
So there's a description (if you can call it that) of what the classes are about. My schedule will look something like this:
M: EDG 647 6:00 - 8:50 PM
T: EDG 651 3:00 - 5:50 PM
Th: EDG 652 6:00 PM - 8:50 PM
Of course I'll be working in the residence hall during the day, but I guess I was expecting to be in class a bit more than that. Maybe there's more to it and I just haven't figured it out yet.
But hey - they're paying for it so no matter what I can't complain.
Living the dream...
Tomorrow is my last day of exams with the students. I have my 2nd and 4th block classes for their exam, and then the rest of the week is dedicated to cleaning up and closing out the year.
And then it's off to college. Again.
I got my overrides to register for my fall classes, so here's how it looks.
EDG 647 - Theories of College Student Development
Credits: 3
This course examines the major student development theories used by college student affairs practitioners in the higher education environment.
EDG 651 - Higher Education and Student Affairs Functions
Credits: 3
Provides an overview of the historical development of American higher education and an introduction to the evolution of student affairs functions in the academy.
EDG 652 - The American College Student
Credits: 3
Examines the characteristics, values, expectations, and needs of contemporary college students in the context of student development theory.
So there's a description (if you can call it that) of what the classes are about. My schedule will look something like this:
M: EDG 647 6:00 - 8:50 PM
T: EDG 651 3:00 - 5:50 PM
Th: EDG 652 6:00 PM - 8:50 PM
Of course I'll be working in the residence hall during the day, but I guess I was expecting to be in class a bit more than that. Maybe there's more to it and I just haven't figured it out yet.
But hey - they're paying for it so no matter what I can't complain.
Living the dream...
Friday, June 02, 2006
Teaching the Laziest Generation About the Greatest Generation
I wasn't sure if I could pull it off, but I managed to cover all of World War II in a week. Sure it wasn't as in-depth as I would have liked, but even so I feel better about what I was able to teach this semester in 1 week than the 2 1/2 week unit I did last semester.
And all thanks to the glory of movie clips.
Day 1 - The Rise of Dictators
Talk about how Mussolini, Hitler, and Stalin took power amidst the Great Depression and resentment of the Treaty of Versailles. Video clip: 10 minutes from The Great Dictator starring Charlie Chaplin. Priceless.
Day 2 - Hitler Takes Advantage of Appeasement
Just a short clip of archival footage with some Hitler speeches. The real gem is in reading "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" to the class and having them draw comparisons to Hitler's remilitarization of Germany and the annexation of surrounding territories.
Day 3 - World War II starts in Europe
I wasn't proud of it, but I managed to squeeze everything from the invasion of Poland in 1939 all the way through to the Battle of Stalingrad's end in 1943. Movie clips included:
- Archival German propaganda detailing the plans for the invasion Great Britain
- The opening of The Chronicles of Narnia which shows the city of London being bombed during the Battle of Britain
- A 10 minute clip from Enemy at the Gates which did a brilliant job of illustrating Soviet military tactics and mentalities during the Battle of Stalingrad.
Day 4 - United States Entry into the War
Start off with the 25 minute attack scene from Pearl Harbor. Fast forward a bit to the recreation of Roosevelt's declaration of war before congress. Then go back and retrace the steps leading to the attack - the ascension of Emperor Hirohito, the election of Tojo as Prime Minister, the invasion of Manchuria, the Japanese need for "Breathing Room" and natural resources. I tried to emphasize the point that Japan wanted to wipe out the United States' ability to make war n one fell swoop, and get the students to understand that Japan did not attack simply to get the US involved in the war. Who knows if they understood.
Day 5 - The Course of World War II in Europe
I should have found a clip from Patton to illustrate the war in North Africa, but alas I just had to talk about it for a bit. All leading in to the attack on Fortress Europa on the beaches of Normandy. And finally, after haggling and sending home permission slips, I was able to show the opening of Saving Private Ryan in class. I've wanted to do that ever since my student teaching. Once again I wish I could have squeezed in a clip from Band of Brothers detailing the German counter-attack in the Ardennes Forest, but instead I just had to plow through to VE Day through notes and discussion.
Day 6 - The Holocaust and The End of the War with Japan
When I taught US History during student teaching I showed Schindler's List in its entirety. The administration told me it was too graphic and whatever to show to my students here, so I didn't do anything with it first semester. This time around, I didn't show it all, but I did use about 30 minutes of clips from it. I started things off with a 10 minute scene from the 9th episode of Band of Brothers entitled "Why We Fight" which did an excellent job of showing Easy Company's discovery and liberation of a Concentration Camp. My class sat and watched in stunned silence, exactly as it should be when talking about the Holocaust. I then spent the rest of the time detailing how the Nazis were able to slowly move from the general complacency with anti-Semitism all the way through to the "Final Solution". I think they got this one.
Unfortunately, my focus on the Holocaust came at the cost of more focus on the Pacific Campaign. I talked about island hopping, Iwo Jima, Okinawa, and then had to rush through the development of the Manhattan Project and Truman's decision to use the atomic bomb. I showed a brief clip of some archival footage of the Enola Gay and Hiroshima, but wished I could have had one more day to cover it properly.
But as it was, I had to devote all of yesterday's time to going through the final exam review guide in preparation for exams today and Monday.
2 exam days.
6 (ugh) teacher work days.
Done.
And all thanks to the glory of movie clips.
Day 1 - The Rise of Dictators
Talk about how Mussolini, Hitler, and Stalin took power amidst the Great Depression and resentment of the Treaty of Versailles. Video clip: 10 minutes from The Great Dictator starring Charlie Chaplin. Priceless.
Day 2 - Hitler Takes Advantage of Appeasement
Just a short clip of archival footage with some Hitler speeches. The real gem is in reading "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" to the class and having them draw comparisons to Hitler's remilitarization of Germany and the annexation of surrounding territories.
Day 3 - World War II starts in Europe
I wasn't proud of it, but I managed to squeeze everything from the invasion of Poland in 1939 all the way through to the Battle of Stalingrad's end in 1943. Movie clips included:
- Archival German propaganda detailing the plans for the invasion Great Britain
- The opening of The Chronicles of Narnia which shows the city of London being bombed during the Battle of Britain
- A 10 minute clip from Enemy at the Gates which did a brilliant job of illustrating Soviet military tactics and mentalities during the Battle of Stalingrad.
Day 4 - United States Entry into the War
Start off with the 25 minute attack scene from Pearl Harbor. Fast forward a bit to the recreation of Roosevelt's declaration of war before congress. Then go back and retrace the steps leading to the attack - the ascension of Emperor Hirohito, the election of Tojo as Prime Minister, the invasion of Manchuria, the Japanese need for "Breathing Room" and natural resources. I tried to emphasize the point that Japan wanted to wipe out the United States' ability to make war n one fell swoop, and get the students to understand that Japan did not attack simply to get the US involved in the war. Who knows if they understood.
Day 5 - The Course of World War II in Europe
I should have found a clip from Patton to illustrate the war in North Africa, but alas I just had to talk about it for a bit. All leading in to the attack on Fortress Europa on the beaches of Normandy. And finally, after haggling and sending home permission slips, I was able to show the opening of Saving Private Ryan in class. I've wanted to do that ever since my student teaching. Once again I wish I could have squeezed in a clip from Band of Brothers detailing the German counter-attack in the Ardennes Forest, but instead I just had to plow through to VE Day through notes and discussion.
Day 6 - The Holocaust and The End of the War with Japan
When I taught US History during student teaching I showed Schindler's List in its entirety. The administration told me it was too graphic and whatever to show to my students here, so I didn't do anything with it first semester. This time around, I didn't show it all, but I did use about 30 minutes of clips from it. I started things off with a 10 minute scene from the 9th episode of Band of Brothers entitled "Why We Fight" which did an excellent job of showing Easy Company's discovery and liberation of a Concentration Camp. My class sat and watched in stunned silence, exactly as it should be when talking about the Holocaust. I then spent the rest of the time detailing how the Nazis were able to slowly move from the general complacency with anti-Semitism all the way through to the "Final Solution". I think they got this one.
Unfortunately, my focus on the Holocaust came at the cost of more focus on the Pacific Campaign. I talked about island hopping, Iwo Jima, Okinawa, and then had to rush through the development of the Manhattan Project and Truman's decision to use the atomic bomb. I showed a brief clip of some archival footage of the Enola Gay and Hiroshima, but wished I could have had one more day to cover it properly.
But as it was, I had to devote all of yesterday's time to going through the final exam review guide in preparation for exams today and Monday.
2 exam days.
6 (ugh) teacher work days.
Done.
Monday, May 29, 2006
In Memorium
To all those who have given the last full measure of devotion to the defense of liberty and freedom, we salute you.
Take a moment on this Memorial Day to recognize those who sacrificed themselves to protect our way of life.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
I Feel so Deliciously White Trash...
Well with less than two months to go before I am no longer a resident of the South, I did something particularly Southern today.
I went to a NASCAR race.
Now, I have always been critical of and just outright baffled by just how anyone could be a fan of NASCAR. People kept telling me that I didn't understand because I had never been to a race, and that if I went to one I would realize just how much fun they were.
Meh... not so much.
I am still thankful to Eric's buddy Chris for the free box tickets, so I won't say that I am sorry or ungrateful for having gone to the race. I mean, how can you say no to free food and drinks during the race?
I will say that I can understand why being at the race is exciting. For what it's worth, last year's American Idol Carrie Underwood did a concert before the race, and later sang the National Anthem. While I'm not a big fan of country music, I am a big fan of the fact that she's a very cute blonde... These races are obviously a big enough deal to get celebrities like that to come out, so it was kind of impressive.
As far as the race itself... man is watching 400 laps of left turns boring. I was told that if you pick out a particular car and driver to follow you enjoy it more because you're more invested in something, so I picked out Reed Sorenson who drives the #41 Target car. Why? Because I like shopping at Target.
Sorenson ended up finishing tenth out of 43 cars. Do I understand or appreciate NASCAR any more as a result of watching this? No.
I'll have no problem leaving North Carolina to the NASCAR fans.
I went to a NASCAR race.
Now, I have always been critical of and just outright baffled by just how anyone could be a fan of NASCAR. People kept telling me that I didn't understand because I had never been to a race, and that if I went to one I would realize just how much fun they were.
Meh... not so much.
I am still thankful to Eric's buddy Chris for the free box tickets, so I won't say that I am sorry or ungrateful for having gone to the race. I mean, how can you say no to free food and drinks during the race?
I will say that I can understand why being at the race is exciting. For what it's worth, last year's American Idol Carrie Underwood did a concert before the race, and later sang the National Anthem. While I'm not a big fan of country music, I am a big fan of the fact that she's a very cute blonde... These races are obviously a big enough deal to get celebrities like that to come out, so it was kind of impressive.
As far as the race itself... man is watching 400 laps of left turns boring. I was told that if you pick out a particular car and driver to follow you enjoy it more because you're more invested in something, so I picked out Reed Sorenson who drives the #41 Target car. Why? Because I like shopping at Target.
Sorenson ended up finishing tenth out of 43 cars. Do I understand or appreciate NASCAR any more as a result of watching this? No.
I'll have no problem leaving North Carolina to the NASCAR fans.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
X-Men: The Last Straw
Hey Brian Singer... Superman Returns better be the best comic book movie ever made, because things went to hell when you left the X-Men movie franchise. Brett Ratner needs to stick to crappy action movies that nobody cares about.
Was X3 really that bad? Yes and no... I mean, in comparison to The Hulk, The Punisher, Daredevil, and Batman and Robin it was still miles ahead in terms of making a comic book movie. But after how well executed X2 was, it was going to take a tremendous effort not to disappoint.
I think the biggest problem that started the downward slide is that fact that the movie was too short. Whereas X2 clocked in at over 2 hours, X3 doesn't even make the 2 hour mark. And I think that extra 25 or 30 minutes could have helped things out a lot. The benefit of a sequel is that you don't have to spend as much time in exposition and introduction, but you still need enough explanation of things so that the plot moves forward instead of just taking giant leaps.
The high points were in Kelsey Grammer's portrayal of Beast, getting Colossus a little more screen time, and Hugh Jackman's always solid performance as Wolverine. But the travesties in the way Jean Grey, Cyclops, and Professor X were treated basically negate these high points. I won't give anything away, but these characters just got screwed in this movie.
And again, I think it all comes down to the fact that Ratner was so eager to get to the action sequences that he forgot about narrative. What made the first two X-Men movies so good was the hard work that went in to making the audience believe the characters were real people that just happened to have extraordinary gifts. This time around the characters were just part of the scenery necessary to get the special effects of their powers on screen.
You should still go see it, but just don't expect it to be as good as X2.
Was X3 really that bad? Yes and no... I mean, in comparison to The Hulk, The Punisher, Daredevil, and Batman and Robin it was still miles ahead in terms of making a comic book movie. But after how well executed X2 was, it was going to take a tremendous effort not to disappoint.
I think the biggest problem that started the downward slide is that fact that the movie was too short. Whereas X2 clocked in at over 2 hours, X3 doesn't even make the 2 hour mark. And I think that extra 25 or 30 minutes could have helped things out a lot. The benefit of a sequel is that you don't have to spend as much time in exposition and introduction, but you still need enough explanation of things so that the plot moves forward instead of just taking giant leaps.
The high points were in Kelsey Grammer's portrayal of Beast, getting Colossus a little more screen time, and Hugh Jackman's always solid performance as Wolverine. But the travesties in the way Jean Grey, Cyclops, and Professor X were treated basically negate these high points. I won't give anything away, but these characters just got screwed in this movie.
And again, I think it all comes down to the fact that Ratner was so eager to get to the action sequences that he forgot about narrative. What made the first two X-Men movies so good was the hard work that went in to making the audience believe the characters were real people that just happened to have extraordinary gifts. This time around the characters were just part of the scenery necessary to get the special effects of their powers on screen.
You should still go see it, but just don't expect it to be as good as X2.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Don't Feed the Bears
Sometimes while reading something else on a news pages, a gem like this catches your eye in the little sidebar of other stories.
Nature!
I'm sure it was an awful, sickening thing to watch... but at the same time it also sounds funny as hell.
Just the idea of a bear chasing a monkey...
Nature!
I'm sure it was an awful, sickening thing to watch... but at the same time it also sounds funny as hell.
Just the idea of a bear chasing a monkey...
Friday, May 12, 2006
What a load of horse shit...
And this, my friends, is why the United States is continually lagging behind the rest of the world in education.
Bad Idea Hyperlink!
It's not because of a lack of qualified teachers. It's not because American children are getting dumber. It's not because the rest of the world is getting that much smarter. It's all because of fucking Ivory Tower educational research ideas like this.
I'm sorry, but children need to learn rules and respect before they are allowed to explore their feelings and self-directed interests. If little Johnny is fidgety than he needs to learn some fucking self-control, not be allowed to jump up and down on a bouncy ball whenever he feels like it.
Bad Idea Hyperlink!
It's not because of a lack of qualified teachers. It's not because American children are getting dumber. It's not because the rest of the world is getting that much smarter. It's all because of fucking Ivory Tower educational research ideas like this.
I'm sorry, but children need to learn rules and respect before they are allowed to explore their feelings and self-directed interests. If little Johnny is fidgety than he needs to learn some fucking self-control, not be allowed to jump up and down on a bouncy ball whenever he feels like it.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
What made NC suck so much?
So, after talking to everyone this week I have recieved a number of questions and comments regarding my ghost-like status. I can't argue against it - this is the first time I have e-mailed, blogged, or been on instant messanger in months.
Aside from the Captain and my parents, I haven't really talked to anyone since I was home for Christmas. I called my brother and talked to him after GVSU called, and I think that's the first time I had talked with my own brother since the holidays.
The only thing that's kept me going through this school year has been the other 1st year teachers I work with. Just yesterday we were talking about the way things are at school, and what it really came down to is that we are all just so constantly angry because of our students that it's poisoning our souls. We have zero support from the administration, mentors that are only working on paper to get the extra pay, and a school full students that are doing everything they can to make our jobs that much harder.
What made NC suck so much? The students. All of my school of education classes, student teaching, and other ideas of what teaching would be were totally shattered by these kids. Their only aspirations are to turn 16 so they can drop out. Students are regularly absent 2 or 3 days a week, and when they are there they either sleep through class or cause disruptions like its a zoo. They never stop talking, which includes talking back to the teachers. All they want to do is talk with their friends or get up in the middle of class and start singing and dancing to the latest hip hop song full of graphic sexual implications.
These students don't deserve to be in high school. Out of the 230 odd students in the freshmen class we teach, at least 80 should not have left the 8th grade because they did not pass their classes. But the middle school was so desperate to get rid of them that they shipped them up to us anyway. And because they've been promoted to every higher grade up to this point, they still believe they will be sophomores next year even though they've failed all their classes. And of course failing those classes has nothing to do with never turning in homework, not studying, or talking through every lesson. It's all because our classes are boring and we're bad teachers.
Add on top of all that the fact that all of my friends and family are 800 miles away, the weather is always warm, and the lack of anything resembling culture down here, and I think that about tells the tale. Like I said, there's a group of us young teachers that have bonded together to help each other through. But if you look at that group, it's further proof that none of us belong here. I'm from Michigan, one guy's from Ohio, another from Massachusetts, 2 from Pennsylvania, another guy from Michigan... we're all displaced northerners who only ended up in North Carolina because nobody else wants to deal with these kids.
I just want to feel like myself again. This job has just drained me mentally, physically, and emotionally, and the only thing that it has given me to refill what it's taken is frustration, anger, and disappointment.
Whew... that was a hell of a rant.
I can barely articulate how much I am looking forward to going back to college, and moving back to Michigan. I never wanted to leave in the first place, but I had no other options. I think this graduate program is exactly what I am looking for, and it couldn't have come together more perfectly. I don't yet know when I'll be moving back to Michigan - that will depend on which residence hall I'm placed in at GVSU. I know it will be sometime before July 31, since that's the first day of our training.
Aside from the Captain and my parents, I haven't really talked to anyone since I was home for Christmas. I called my brother and talked to him after GVSU called, and I think that's the first time I had talked with my own brother since the holidays.
The only thing that's kept me going through this school year has been the other 1st year teachers I work with. Just yesterday we were talking about the way things are at school, and what it really came down to is that we are all just so constantly angry because of our students that it's poisoning our souls. We have zero support from the administration, mentors that are only working on paper to get the extra pay, and a school full students that are doing everything they can to make our jobs that much harder.
What made NC suck so much? The students. All of my school of education classes, student teaching, and other ideas of what teaching would be were totally shattered by these kids. Their only aspirations are to turn 16 so they can drop out. Students are regularly absent 2 or 3 days a week, and when they are there they either sleep through class or cause disruptions like its a zoo. They never stop talking, which includes talking back to the teachers. All they want to do is talk with their friends or get up in the middle of class and start singing and dancing to the latest hip hop song full of graphic sexual implications.
These students don't deserve to be in high school. Out of the 230 odd students in the freshmen class we teach, at least 80 should not have left the 8th grade because they did not pass their classes. But the middle school was so desperate to get rid of them that they shipped them up to us anyway. And because they've been promoted to every higher grade up to this point, they still believe they will be sophomores next year even though they've failed all their classes. And of course failing those classes has nothing to do with never turning in homework, not studying, or talking through every lesson. It's all because our classes are boring and we're bad teachers.
Add on top of all that the fact that all of my friends and family are 800 miles away, the weather is always warm, and the lack of anything resembling culture down here, and I think that about tells the tale. Like I said, there's a group of us young teachers that have bonded together to help each other through. But if you look at that group, it's further proof that none of us belong here. I'm from Michigan, one guy's from Ohio, another from Massachusetts, 2 from Pennsylvania, another guy from Michigan... we're all displaced northerners who only ended up in North Carolina because nobody else wants to deal with these kids.
I just want to feel like myself again. This job has just drained me mentally, physically, and emotionally, and the only thing that it has given me to refill what it's taken is frustration, anger, and disappointment.
Whew... that was a hell of a rant.
I can barely articulate how much I am looking forward to going back to college, and moving back to Michigan. I never wanted to leave in the first place, but I had no other options. I think this graduate program is exactly what I am looking for, and it couldn't have come together more perfectly. I don't yet know when I'll be moving back to Michigan - that will depend on which residence hall I'm placed in at GVSU. I know it will be sometime before July 31, since that's the first day of our training.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
I'll be coming home next year
No, your eyes don't deceive you... it actually is me blogging.
I don't think it's any surprise that I have hated my time here in North Carolina. My job and my general state of being during the past year have left me in a state of depression and apathy, and as a result I just never had the motivation to keep up with things like human contact.
But, all that will soon change...
This summer I too will take my place among that free-loading lot known as graduate students.
I have just been awarded a graduate assistantship for a master's program at Grand Valley in College Student Affairs and Leadership. "What the hell is that?" you ask. Basically, it's a program designed to prepare one for such positions as academic advisors, residence hall directors, and so on at a college or university.
Basically, it is the sweetest package ever. GVSU is going to pay my tuition, even given my current North Carolina residency. Since I'll be working in a residence hall, GVSU is also paying for my housing (a 1 bedroom apartment in the residence hall), a meal plan, and a stipend.
So, at some point this July, I will once again be a Michigan resident in either Allendale or Grand Rapids.
I don't think it's any surprise that I have hated my time here in North Carolina. My job and my general state of being during the past year have left me in a state of depression and apathy, and as a result I just never had the motivation to keep up with things like human contact.
But, all that will soon change...
This summer I too will take my place among that free-loading lot known as graduate students.
I have just been awarded a graduate assistantship for a master's program at Grand Valley in College Student Affairs and Leadership. "What the hell is that?" you ask. Basically, it's a program designed to prepare one for such positions as academic advisors, residence hall directors, and so on at a college or university.
Basically, it is the sweetest package ever. GVSU is going to pay my tuition, even given my current North Carolina residency. Since I'll be working in a residence hall, GVSU is also paying for my housing (a 1 bedroom apartment in the residence hall), a meal plan, and a stipend.
So, at some point this July, I will once again be a Michigan resident in either Allendale or Grand Rapids.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Shout Out to the Captain
I was just trying to get my sea legs back in the last post, that's why I didn't go into specifics about the events and misadventures of Christmas break.
More to come later...
More to come later...
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
The Blog Shall Not Perish From the Earth
Alright, time to get back on the wagon.
I waste so much of my precious free time just sitting around or checking and rechecking the same webpages for updates and news, and I've got no excuse for not keeping the blog up to date. This neglected space is sometimes the only way people know that I'm still alive and kicking, and I've let it flatline again and again.
CLEAR!
Christmas break wasn't long enough. The time spent back in Holland was a bittersweet reunion, with just enough time spent with people to have a good time but not enough to get rid of the feeling of missing everyone. The fact that I had to get in the car and drive 15 hours back to North Carolina put a bit of a damper on New Year's because I didn't have the luxury of a day to recover and thus had to restrain my celebration.
The other casualty of the break's brevity was that as soon as I got back to work all of the baggage and stress came right back at me. Our schedule was such that we left for Christmas and then came back for one week of classes before final exams. Last year the school finished exams before Christmas, but that's because they started the semester in the middle of August instead of the end. Which is best? Dunno.
But, any complaints notwithstanding, it was good to be home and good to see everyone that I got a chance to.
Come back again soon.
I waste so much of my precious free time just sitting around or checking and rechecking the same webpages for updates and news, and I've got no excuse for not keeping the blog up to date. This neglected space is sometimes the only way people know that I'm still alive and kicking, and I've let it flatline again and again.
CLEAR!
Christmas break wasn't long enough. The time spent back in Holland was a bittersweet reunion, with just enough time spent with people to have a good time but not enough to get rid of the feeling of missing everyone. The fact that I had to get in the car and drive 15 hours back to North Carolina put a bit of a damper on New Year's because I didn't have the luxury of a day to recover and thus had to restrain my celebration.
The other casualty of the break's brevity was that as soon as I got back to work all of the baggage and stress came right back at me. Our schedule was such that we left for Christmas and then came back for one week of classes before final exams. Last year the school finished exams before Christmas, but that's because they started the semester in the middle of August instead of the end. Which is best? Dunno.
But, any complaints notwithstanding, it was good to be home and good to see everyone that I got a chance to.
Come back again soon.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
I'll be Home for Christmas
So once again, it's been a month and a half since my last post.
Suffice to say it's been a long month and a half.
There are scores of articles and essays and studies that people have cited for me that describe the life of a first year teacher as nothing but survival mode. So how an I doing? I'm surviving, and I can't claim much more than that. I'm ready for Christmas break.
Friday begins the crazy roadtrip adventure with The Captain. Somewhere there is a bank ledger that has a tally of everything I owe him, and I just hope the mafia's not involved when it comes time to repay him. It's going to be 15 hours of Red Bull, nicotine, caffeine, fast food, and enough mix CDs to keep us going.
Suffice to say it's been a long month and a half.
There are scores of articles and essays and studies that people have cited for me that describe the life of a first year teacher as nothing but survival mode. So how an I doing? I'm surviving, and I can't claim much more than that. I'm ready for Christmas break.
Friday begins the crazy roadtrip adventure with The Captain. Somewhere there is a bank ledger that has a tally of everything I owe him, and I just hope the mafia's not involved when it comes time to repay him. It's going to be 15 hours of Red Bull, nicotine, caffeine, fast food, and enough mix CDs to keep us going.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
It's All Your Fault Mom and Dad... :-)
I'm sitting here on Sunday morning with an undeniable need to make coffee and then go buy a newspaper and donuts. It just seems like the natural order of things, and I must obey.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Monday, October 31, 2005
Happy Halloween
Not a long post, but hopefully just enough to get things going again.
I haven't taken the time lately to remind myself of all those out there who still care, so this is my shout out to you. I've spent the last few months out of place, over my head, and in need of some grounding in the familiar. Blogging has just been one casualty of the feeling that I have no time for anything right now.
So how have you been?
In a nutshell I am in a constant state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. I have been pushing myself harder and further than I can ever remember, and I feel like I'm just breaking even. Is it better than subbing and working at the Gap? You're damn right. I just wish I would have prepared myself a little more for just how much I was getting myself into.
Everyone told me your first year would be like this, and I didn't believe them. I filled myself with a false sense of comfort and security based on my experiences and expectations in student teaching and long term subbing. But no practice in the world can really equal game time.
I miss you guys. The ones who still read this in spite of my negligence, and the many who stopped reading long ago. I can't blame you. I got lazy, but it doesn't mean I haven't thought about it.
I haven't taken the time lately to remind myself of all those out there who still care, so this is my shout out to you. I've spent the last few months out of place, over my head, and in need of some grounding in the familiar. Blogging has just been one casualty of the feeling that I have no time for anything right now.
So how have you been?
In a nutshell I am in a constant state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. I have been pushing myself harder and further than I can ever remember, and I feel like I'm just breaking even. Is it better than subbing and working at the Gap? You're damn right. I just wish I would have prepared myself a little more for just how much I was getting myself into.
Everyone told me your first year would be like this, and I didn't believe them. I filled myself with a false sense of comfort and security based on my experiences and expectations in student teaching and long term subbing. But no practice in the world can really equal game time.
I miss you guys. The ones who still read this in spite of my negligence, and the many who stopped reading long ago. I can't blame you. I got lazy, but it doesn't mean I haven't thought about it.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
Finally an Update
I've had a few people who still actually read my blog tell me they've been looking for updates. Well, I've been planning to get back on the old blog, but this is the first time I've set aside the time to do it.
I'm sitting here in my living room, typing in between breaks while watching the Michigan - Notre Dame game. Last week's game wasn't televised here, but I guess this game is big enough to be the nationally covered one on ABC. A little piece of home...
I've been down here over a month now haven't I?
Really, I haven't had time to be lonely. I'll call home or call friends when I have some time, and I forget that they're 800 miles away. Aside from how hot it still is and the few really strong southern accents I run into every now and then, I forget sometimes that I live in North Carolina. I look around and realize it's different from Holland or Ann Arbor, but I have to take a minute to remind myself that it's halfway across the country.
A month down in North Carolina, two and a half weeks of school finished, and I haven't yet had that feeling like I've made some sort of horrible mistake. Then again, I didn't really have any other options, did I?
For the most part, I like it down here. The new Target and Best Buy are open, so lack of Meijer notwithstanding I've got all the comforts of home within reach. The people I work with at school are great - the administration and other teachers are the same sort of friendly and helpful people that made my student teaching at Saline so great. The students in my classes.... Well, it's getting better.
No matter where I would have ended up, everyone told me that this first year would be the hardest work I've ever done. Having never taught World History, I'm coming up with everything from scratch. Sure I've got a book and some resources, but that just gives me and idea of what I should teach. I have the basic calendar for the semester figured out - the entire history of Human civilization from Mesopotamia to the War on Terror in 18 weeks. But as far as how to teach it - that's the part that takes so many hours to figure out. Getting 14 year olds to pay attention to the history of something that happened 3000 years ago for 90 minutes at a time is almost impossible and I need to make it look easy.
My 4th hour has been the only one to really test me so far (knock on wood). It's all freshmen, right after lunch, and right before they go home. They're just squirrelly as all hell, and I have to constantly ride them about being on task in order to get through the hour. It's slowly and very incrementally getting better, so I just have to keep at it. I suppose it's reassuring that I hear across the school how everyone's 4th hour is like this, but it's still frustrating.
I've also uploaded here a few pictures of my apartment. After I got some money I was finally able to pick up a few things to make it more of a home - lamps, sheets, kitchen table, plants, etc. I still need a few things like DVD and CD storage, but those will have to wait until the next paycheck.
I'm sitting here in my living room, typing in between breaks while watching the Michigan - Notre Dame game. Last week's game wasn't televised here, but I guess this game is big enough to be the nationally covered one on ABC. A little piece of home...
I've been down here over a month now haven't I?
Really, I haven't had time to be lonely. I'll call home or call friends when I have some time, and I forget that they're 800 miles away. Aside from how hot it still is and the few really strong southern accents I run into every now and then, I forget sometimes that I live in North Carolina. I look around and realize it's different from Holland or Ann Arbor, but I have to take a minute to remind myself that it's halfway across the country.
A month down in North Carolina, two and a half weeks of school finished, and I haven't yet had that feeling like I've made some sort of horrible mistake. Then again, I didn't really have any other options, did I?
For the most part, I like it down here. The new Target and Best Buy are open, so lack of Meijer notwithstanding I've got all the comforts of home within reach. The people I work with at school are great - the administration and other teachers are the same sort of friendly and helpful people that made my student teaching at Saline so great. The students in my classes.... Well, it's getting better.
No matter where I would have ended up, everyone told me that this first year would be the hardest work I've ever done. Having never taught World History, I'm coming up with everything from scratch. Sure I've got a book and some resources, but that just gives me and idea of what I should teach. I have the basic calendar for the semester figured out - the entire history of Human civilization from Mesopotamia to the War on Terror in 18 weeks. But as far as how to teach it - that's the part that takes so many hours to figure out. Getting 14 year olds to pay attention to the history of something that happened 3000 years ago for 90 minutes at a time is almost impossible and I need to make it look easy.
My 4th hour has been the only one to really test me so far (knock on wood). It's all freshmen, right after lunch, and right before they go home. They're just squirrelly as all hell, and I have to constantly ride them about being on task in order to get through the hour. It's slowly and very incrementally getting better, so I just have to keep at it. I suppose it's reassuring that I hear across the school how everyone's 4th hour is like this, but it's still frustrating.
I've also uploaded here a few pictures of my apartment. After I got some money I was finally able to pick up a few things to make it more of a home - lamps, sheets, kitchen table, plants, etc. I still need a few things like DVD and CD storage, but those will have to wait until the next paycheck.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Welcome to the New South
Yes, I know I've used the same Less Than Jake song title at least 3 times now.
And yes, I know it's been like a month since I blogged.
Those things aside, I'm going to get back on the horse here.
I'm sure nobody, myself included, expected me to be the one to move halfway across the country after graduation. I hate change. I love the familiar. And yet, here I sit, 800 miles from any friends or family.
July 1981 - May 1986: Arlington, Texas
May 1986 - April 1995: Lake St. Louis, Missouri
April 1995 - August 1999: Holland, Michigan
August 1999 - August 2004: Ann Arbor, Michigan
August 2004 - August 2005: Holland, Michigan
August 2005 - ?: Graham, North Carolina
Last August I was supposed to move to Plymouth, Saline, Okemos, or some other school district in Michigan. Instead I returned home broken and defeated, unemployable for a year. I knew I needed to expand my search for this year, and when the Captain relocated to Chi-Town it made perfect sense. Far enough away to have a better job market than Michigan, close enough to home. And having your best friend either down the hall or across town might be nice.
Nada.
After hearing nothing from March to June I initiated the emergency back-up plan to apply in North Carolina. I figured I could just keep it in my back pocket as I waited for schools in Illinois to get their act together. In short order it went from emergency contingency to viable option to only option.
And here I sit.
Before you make assumptions and jump to conclusions, I'm not feeling bitter and dejected right now. So far the places I've been and the people I've met down here have all been great. Going to the school and meeting some of the other teachers I'm going to work with, I feel optimistic for the first time in a long time.
I really am feeling good about things right now. Thanks to The Captain's insistence I have a new X-Box to keep me occupied, but if my orientation days are any indication of what's to come during the school year I think keeping busy is going to be the least of my worries.
I haven't freaked out yet. I haven't spent the evening rocking myself back and forth in a corner as I come to the realization that I am totally alone and totally out of place down here. I don't know when that will happen. I may still be in shock just from the overwhelming amount of change that's happened in the last week.
All I know is that right now, despite it all, I'm hopeful and optimistic about what's to come. I'm not miserable, and right now that's a good start.
And yes, I know it's been like a month since I blogged.
Those things aside, I'm going to get back on the horse here.
I'm sure nobody, myself included, expected me to be the one to move halfway across the country after graduation. I hate change. I love the familiar. And yet, here I sit, 800 miles from any friends or family.
July 1981 - May 1986: Arlington, Texas
May 1986 - April 1995: Lake St. Louis, Missouri
April 1995 - August 1999: Holland, Michigan
August 1999 - August 2004: Ann Arbor, Michigan
August 2004 - August 2005: Holland, Michigan
August 2005 - ?: Graham, North Carolina
Last August I was supposed to move to Plymouth, Saline, Okemos, or some other school district in Michigan. Instead I returned home broken and defeated, unemployable for a year. I knew I needed to expand my search for this year, and when the Captain relocated to Chi-Town it made perfect sense. Far enough away to have a better job market than Michigan, close enough to home. And having your best friend either down the hall or across town might be nice.
Nada.
After hearing nothing from March to June I initiated the emergency back-up plan to apply in North Carolina. I figured I could just keep it in my back pocket as I waited for schools in Illinois to get their act together. In short order it went from emergency contingency to viable option to only option.
And here I sit.
Before you make assumptions and jump to conclusions, I'm not feeling bitter and dejected right now. So far the places I've been and the people I've met down here have all been great. Going to the school and meeting some of the other teachers I'm going to work with, I feel optimistic for the first time in a long time.
I really am feeling good about things right now. Thanks to The Captain's insistence I have a new X-Box to keep me occupied, but if my orientation days are any indication of what's to come during the school year I think keeping busy is going to be the least of my worries.
I haven't freaked out yet. I haven't spent the evening rocking myself back and forth in a corner as I come to the realization that I am totally alone and totally out of place down here. I don't know when that will happen. I may still be in shock just from the overwhelming amount of change that's happened in the last week.
All I know is that right now, despite it all, I'm hopeful and optimistic about what's to come. I'm not miserable, and right now that's a good start.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Fuck you Atlanta
My trip down to North Carolina was way too easy, and the trip back more than made up for it by being a fucking disaster. Apparently a few raindrops in Atlanta causes the entire airline system to shut down. The downside of a good deal on airfare is that I didn't get a direct flight from North Carolina to Chicago. I had to fly to Atlanta for a layover, and that's where it all went to hell.
My 6:40 flight to Atlanta didn't leave until about 9:45. My connecting flight was delayed as well, so I still technically had enough time to land in Atlanta and make my flight to Chicago. That is until I spent an hour and a half sitting on the tarmac waiting to pull in to the gate in Atlanta. When I finally got to the terminal there was one flight left that was going to O'Hare that night, and the guy at the counter basically told me I was fucked for trying to get on it.
Once again, fuck the city of Atlanta, and an extra-special "Fuck You" to the Atlanta airport and its employees. Supposedly they had booked every hotel room in the greater Atlanta area, and told us that because it was a weather related problem and not a problem with the airline itself, they had no obligation to do anything but bend us over and fuck us. And so like refugees, there were about 200 of us who slept on the floor and various benches of the airport until the ticket counters reopened in the morning.
Luckily I was able to get onto a 7:00 flight in the morning instead of waiting for the 4:00 PM flight that they put me on the night before. They bumped me up to 1st class, which is the least they could have done, and because I could I had a gin and tonic at 7:30 in the morning.
My 6:40 flight to Atlanta didn't leave until about 9:45. My connecting flight was delayed as well, so I still technically had enough time to land in Atlanta and make my flight to Chicago. That is until I spent an hour and a half sitting on the tarmac waiting to pull in to the gate in Atlanta. When I finally got to the terminal there was one flight left that was going to O'Hare that night, and the guy at the counter basically told me I was fucked for trying to get on it.
Once again, fuck the city of Atlanta, and an extra-special "Fuck You" to the Atlanta airport and its employees. Supposedly they had booked every hotel room in the greater Atlanta area, and told us that because it was a weather related problem and not a problem with the airline itself, they had no obligation to do anything but bend us over and fuck us. And so like refugees, there were about 200 of us who slept on the floor and various benches of the airport until the ticket counters reopened in the morning.
Luckily I was able to get onto a 7:00 flight in the morning instead of waiting for the 4:00 PM flight that they put me on the night before. They bumped me up to 1st class, which is the least they could have done, and because I could I had a gin and tonic at 7:30 in the morning.
Friday, July 15, 2005
Time to Go to Work
I started Thursday morning in North Carolina with a complimentary breakfast at a restaurant next to the hotel. I was expecting bagels and muffins and such, but I got my first taste of culture shock going from North to South. Apparently biscuits are served in some form for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
I went to the high school around 10 to meet with the principal, not sure if it was a second interview or just a meet and greet. After talking to her for about 2 minutes it was clear that I already had the job, and that I was just there to take a tour and seal the deal.
I am going to be teaching World History to 9th graders, and it sounds like they've got a lot of programs in place really focusing on the transition from middle school to high school. All of the freshman classes are in the same hallway, and that little part of the school is the "Freshman Academy". There's another new World History teacher, and a teacher who taught World History last year is now teaching a study skills class for the freshman, and has offered to help us by sharing her lesson plans.
The principal told me that new teachers in the department start off with World History, and that the upper level classes like US History and Government were usually taught by people that had been there a bit longer. From what I've seen they don't have any psychology classes, but I know they've got some more specialized AP classes like Earth Science, so they obviously have started expanding into AP. I'll figure out for certain once I'm actually in the system, but if they don't teach AP Psych yet I'll start nagging at them to let me start the curriculum.
As far as extra-curricular activities go, the one thing I've talked to the principal about is a student literary magazine. It sounds like there's an English teacher that wants to start one, so I'm trying to get on board. I think there's a few teachers from Michigan at the school, and I know of at least one who's been nagging the principal to let him start a hockey team. As much as I love hockey I don't really know anything about it, but I'd see if he'd teach me on the job as an assistant coach or something.
I went to the high school around 10 to meet with the principal, not sure if it was a second interview or just a meet and greet. After talking to her for about 2 minutes it was clear that I already had the job, and that I was just there to take a tour and seal the deal.
I am going to be teaching World History to 9th graders, and it sounds like they've got a lot of programs in place really focusing on the transition from middle school to high school. All of the freshman classes are in the same hallway, and that little part of the school is the "Freshman Academy". There's another new World History teacher, and a teacher who taught World History last year is now teaching a study skills class for the freshman, and has offered to help us by sharing her lesson plans.
The principal told me that new teachers in the department start off with World History, and that the upper level classes like US History and Government were usually taught by people that had been there a bit longer. From what I've seen they don't have any psychology classes, but I know they've got some more specialized AP classes like Earth Science, so they obviously have started expanding into AP. I'll figure out for certain once I'm actually in the system, but if they don't teach AP Psych yet I'll start nagging at them to let me start the curriculum.
As far as extra-curricular activities go, the one thing I've talked to the principal about is a student literary magazine. It sounds like there's an English teacher that wants to start one, so I'm trying to get on board. I think there's a few teachers from Michigan at the school, and I know of at least one who's been nagging the principal to let him start a hockey team. As much as I love hockey I don't really know anything about it, but I'd see if he'd teach me on the job as an assistant coach or something.
Thursday, July 14, 2005
A Long Strange Trip
I was going to blog while on the road but I ended up being without internet access from the time I left Wednesday morning until I got back Saturday morning. For future reference, when asking a hotel if they have internet access be specific about high-speed or wireless access. After I got settled in my room I called the front desk and asked about the internet, to which they replied "There's a phone jack in the room." And since I haven't used dial-up or any sort of ISP for almost 5 years now, I had no way to use ye olde internet while in North Carolina. So, I'm just going to change the posting day for this blog back to last Thursday, just to break things up a bit.
The trip down to North Carolina was easy, which unfortunately meant that everything went wrong on the trip home. I drove down to Chicago on Tuesday because it was like $150 cheaper to fly out of O'Hare than out of GR. I stayed with The Captain since he was gracious enough to drive me to the airport the next morning, and we came to the realization that the suburbs of Chicago were a Bizarro form of Holland. In Holland we vowed to never again go to the IHOP for fear of being stabbed (or at least made to feel disgusted of humanity) by one of the patrons there. So while in Holland, Denny's is the only viable option for late night coffee. There is no Denny's in The Captain's particular neck of the woods, but there are two in different directions on the highway. We finally decided after a history of bad service and creepy clientele that the closer Denny's is now dead to us, but there's an IHOP in town that has yet to scare us.
Anyway... got to O'Hare Wednesday morning with no difficulty because we were leaving before traffic. Once at the airport I made it through security and to my terminal in about 10 minutes, no hassle. So, I had plenty of time to start my column for The Newsletter and play Gameboy. The plane boarded and departed more or less on time, and I had plenty of time to leisurely make my connecting flight in Cincinnati.
I arrived in North Carolina without incident, and made my way to the Enterprise rental counter. I got a free upgrade (who doesn't?) from a Kia Rio to a Pontiac Sunfire. While that's not really that exciting, I was really pleased by the fact that they did not charge me the additional $40 fee for not being 25 years old.
And so, behind the wheel of my Pontiac Sunfire (I still hate Pontiacs), I made my way towards my hotel. Driving through North Carolina I actually forgot once or twice that I wasn't in Michigan. Aside from the addition of a few Waffle Houses and the lack of meager, the scenery looked like it could be any city in Michigan.
I spent most of Wednesday afternoon and into the evening just driving around, getting a feel for the area. Traffic does not exist down there. I was on the highway at 5:30, and it was nothing. In my travels I found all the staples of fast food, a new Target and Best Buy that were opening at the end of the month, and almost all of the other hallmarks of civilization. Unfortunately I had grown accustomed to the drought in Michigan, and was completely unprepared for the torrential downpour that came Wednesday night. I'm far enough inland that I won't ever be directly affected by hurricanes, but I sure caught one hell of a thunderstorm.
The trip down to North Carolina was easy, which unfortunately meant that everything went wrong on the trip home. I drove down to Chicago on Tuesday because it was like $150 cheaper to fly out of O'Hare than out of GR. I stayed with The Captain since he was gracious enough to drive me to the airport the next morning, and we came to the realization that the suburbs of Chicago were a Bizarro form of Holland. In Holland we vowed to never again go to the IHOP for fear of being stabbed (or at least made to feel disgusted of humanity) by one of the patrons there. So while in Holland, Denny's is the only viable option for late night coffee. There is no Denny's in The Captain's particular neck of the woods, but there are two in different directions on the highway. We finally decided after a history of bad service and creepy clientele that the closer Denny's is now dead to us, but there's an IHOP in town that has yet to scare us.
Anyway... got to O'Hare Wednesday morning with no difficulty because we were leaving before traffic. Once at the airport I made it through security and to my terminal in about 10 minutes, no hassle. So, I had plenty of time to start my column for The Newsletter and play Gameboy. The plane boarded and departed more or less on time, and I had plenty of time to leisurely make my connecting flight in Cincinnati.
I arrived in North Carolina without incident, and made my way to the Enterprise rental counter. I got a free upgrade (who doesn't?) from a Kia Rio to a Pontiac Sunfire. While that's not really that exciting, I was really pleased by the fact that they did not charge me the additional $40 fee for not being 25 years old.
And so, behind the wheel of my Pontiac Sunfire (I still hate Pontiacs), I made my way towards my hotel. Driving through North Carolina I actually forgot once or twice that I wasn't in Michigan. Aside from the addition of a few Waffle Houses and the lack of meager, the scenery looked like it could be any city in Michigan.
I spent most of Wednesday afternoon and into the evening just driving around, getting a feel for the area. Traffic does not exist down there. I was on the highway at 5:30, and it was nothing. In my travels I found all the staples of fast food, a new Target and Best Buy that were opening at the end of the month, and almost all of the other hallmarks of civilization. Unfortunately I had grown accustomed to the drought in Michigan, and was completely unprepared for the torrential downpour that came Wednesday night. I'm far enough inland that I won't ever be directly affected by hurricanes, but I sure caught one hell of a thunderstorm.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Time to Pack my Carpetbag
It's go time.
This week will come the deciding factor on where exactly I place my foot as I take that next step.
Wednesday morning I'm flying down to North Carolina to meet with the principal who wants to hire me. After a phone interview a few weeks ago, I called her last week to see where things stood. She said I was one of the top choices, but that the position was offered to someone else.
But that wasn't the end of the story.
Another teacher in the department was moving up to a curriculum coordinator position, and so this left a second vacancy for the same classes I had originally interviewed for. The principal told me she'd call me in a few days.
She called this morning.
She asked if I was still interested in the position, and that she wanted me to go down there this week. And so I'll most likely have a job in North Carolina by the end of the week.
But that's still not the end of the story.
Last week I also got a call from a principal at a school I had applied at in Illinois. He scheduled a phone interview for this afternoon, which went really well. The guy I interviewed with was the department chair, and a real straightforward and down to Earth guy. He said he wants this position nailed down ASAP, and that his goal was to call me tomorrow. As I said, I think things went well, so I may have a job offer in Illinois by the end of the week.
By the end of the month, I'll be a resident of either North Carolina or Illinois.
This week will come the deciding factor on where exactly I place my foot as I take that next step.
Wednesday morning I'm flying down to North Carolina to meet with the principal who wants to hire me. After a phone interview a few weeks ago, I called her last week to see where things stood. She said I was one of the top choices, but that the position was offered to someone else.
But that wasn't the end of the story.
Another teacher in the department was moving up to a curriculum coordinator position, and so this left a second vacancy for the same classes I had originally interviewed for. The principal told me she'd call me in a few days.
She called this morning.
She asked if I was still interested in the position, and that she wanted me to go down there this week. And so I'll most likely have a job in North Carolina by the end of the week.
But that's still not the end of the story.
Last week I also got a call from a principal at a school I had applied at in Illinois. He scheduled a phone interview for this afternoon, which went really well. The guy I interviewed with was the department chair, and a real straightforward and down to Earth guy. He said he wants this position nailed down ASAP, and that his goal was to call me tomorrow. As I said, I think things went well, so I may have a job offer in Illinois by the end of the week.
By the end of the month, I'll be a resident of either North Carolina or Illinois.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
God Save the Queen
"It is through terrorism that the people that have committed this terrible act express their values... They are trying to use the slaughter of innocent people to cow us ... but they should know they will not succeed... We will show by our spirit and dignity and by our quiet but true strength that there is in the British people that our values will long outlast theirs. This is a very sad day for the British people, but we will hold true to the British way of life... We will not allow violence to change our societies or our values nor will we allow it to stop the work of this summit... We will continue our deliberations in the interest of a better world.”
~ Prime Minister Tony Blair
Friday, July 01, 2005
Didn't see that coming...
A few days ago The Last Angry Man said in reference to the "impending retirement" of Chief Justice Rehnquist:
There are only nine of these people at any one time, surely it is not beyond our abilities to pay moderate attention to two of them simultaneously.
Apparently it is beyond our abilities.
The retirement of Justice O'Connor, a spring chicken at only 75 years old, came seemingly out of left field. Given her swing-vote jurisprudence, I wonder if the same list of nominees to succeed Chief Justice Rehnquist will be used to nominate a successor to Justice O'Connor's place on the bench.
I wholeheartedly hope that the Senate and general public will agree with President Bush that "The nation also deserves a dignified process of confirmation in the United States Senate, characterized by fair treatment, a fair hearing and a fair vote."
But we all know it won't happen. The Senate is a very ugly, very childish place right now, and the entire nomination process will be turned into a partisan circus.
There are only nine of these people at any one time, surely it is not beyond our abilities to pay moderate attention to two of them simultaneously.
Apparently it is beyond our abilities.
The retirement of Justice O'Connor, a spring chicken at only 75 years old, came seemingly out of left field. Given her swing-vote jurisprudence, I wonder if the same list of nominees to succeed Chief Justice Rehnquist will be used to nominate a successor to Justice O'Connor's place on the bench.
I wholeheartedly hope that the Senate and general public will agree with President Bush that "The nation also deserves a dignified process of confirmation in the United States Senate, characterized by fair treatment, a fair hearing and a fair vote."
But we all know it won't happen. The Senate is a very ugly, very childish place right now, and the entire nomination process will be turned into a partisan circus.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Ring Damn You!
Yes, I'm yelling at my cell phone.
I spent March, April, and May filling out online applications, writing cover letters, going to job fairs, and going through every possible means of applying to over 30 school districts in the suburban Chicago area.
Have any of them called me?
No.
Fuck you, Illinois.
So in June I decided it was time to get desperate, and I started applying to schools in North Carolina. Within a week I had gotten e-mails from 3 principals following up on my paperwork, and one interview over the phone. I was all excited that the myths and legends were true, and that these districts would be fighting over who got to hire me.
But what have I heard in the last week? Survey says... Nothing.
Offer me a fucking job! You've got my cell phone number, you've got my home phone number, you've got my e-mail address. Pick one! (Now reread the last sentence, imagining it's in Lewis Black's voice.)
I spent March, April, and May filling out online applications, writing cover letters, going to job fairs, and going through every possible means of applying to over 30 school districts in the suburban Chicago area.
Have any of them called me?
No.
Fuck you, Illinois.
So in June I decided it was time to get desperate, and I started applying to schools in North Carolina. Within a week I had gotten e-mails from 3 principals following up on my paperwork, and one interview over the phone. I was all excited that the myths and legends were true, and that these districts would be fighting over who got to hire me.
But what have I heard in the last week? Survey says... Nothing.
Offer me a fucking job! You've got my cell phone number, you've got my home phone number, you've got my e-mail address. Pick one! (Now reread the last sentence, imagining it's in Lewis Black's voice.)
Monday, June 20, 2005
I'm a Hack
I spent all day on Friday trying to finish a short story for The Newsletter. Two half finished stories left behind, and 3 AM later, I finally finished it and e-mailed it out. It's not a groundbreaking testament to the human spirit, it's not really all that good. I think there's enough little amusing lines and bits to make it worthwhile, but it's not something I'm waiting on the edge of my seat to see in print.
Sigh.
As I was driving back home from Chi-Town Saturday, I remembered the stack of floppy disks I had found amongst my crap in the basement during the last time I tried to consolidate the nonsense. Since I don't have a floppy drive on my laptop I didn't check them out right away, and then they fell back behind something and I wasn't in any rush to dig them out. But thinking these disks may have a lot of my writing from high school on them, I decided I was going to make a project out of going through them. I got back home Saturday with enough time to grab a snack and a shower before heading to the Gap, and so the exploration of these disks was saved for yesterday.
As I had suspected, these were some of the disks to which I saved things in high school. As I waited for the files to load on my brother's computer (his has a 3 1/2 disk drive) I realized that it was taking a minute because these disks were 10 years old. It's scary to put that sort of perspective on things.
What's even scarier is that I was immensely please with how good the stories and other writings were, moreso than I have been of my writing of late. Sure, I could see ways to improve them and stylistic changes I would make today, but the basics were better than I remembered.
And that's totally depressing.
I had more to write about when I was 14 than I do at 24.
Sigh.
As I was driving back home from Chi-Town Saturday, I remembered the stack of floppy disks I had found amongst my crap in the basement during the last time I tried to consolidate the nonsense. Since I don't have a floppy drive on my laptop I didn't check them out right away, and then they fell back behind something and I wasn't in any rush to dig them out. But thinking these disks may have a lot of my writing from high school on them, I decided I was going to make a project out of going through them. I got back home Saturday with enough time to grab a snack and a shower before heading to the Gap, and so the exploration of these disks was saved for yesterday.
As I had suspected, these were some of the disks to which I saved things in high school. As I waited for the files to load on my brother's computer (his has a 3 1/2 disk drive) I realized that it was taking a minute because these disks were 10 years old. It's scary to put that sort of perspective on things.
What's even scarier is that I was immensely please with how good the stories and other writings were, moreso than I have been of my writing of late. Sure, I could see ways to improve them and stylistic changes I would make today, but the basics were better than I remembered.
And that's totally depressing.
I had more to write about when I was 14 than I do at 24.
Friday, June 10, 2005
Time to Get Me an Accent...
School is done for the year now, so that means no more subbing days. My only source of income now is from the Gap. I just get more resentful of it every day that I go in - hating what I have to do, hating the customers, hating many of my coworkers, and even hating particular items of clothing. When inanimate objects provoke a sense of seething rage in you, you know things are not going well.
I've gotten 3 rejection notices so far, and that's all I've heard from schools. Just like dating, all the pretty girls aren't interested, so now it's time to go find the girl with a "great personality"...
That's right, I started applying to schools in North Carolina.
Supposedly Texas, Florida, and North Carolina are the states most in need of teachers. North Carolina has the distinct advantage of not being either Texas or Florida. Over Christmas break I talked briefly to a girl I graduated with who is teaching in NC, and she tried to convince me it was the thing to do. My dad was down there for a week on business a few years ago, and he told me it's pretty nice down there. It's the South, but it's not the Deep South. Hell, I see more confederate flags and cowboy hats in West Michigan than I ever did living in Missouri, so I'm not too worried. Now I just have to wait by the phone...
I've gotten 3 rejection notices so far, and that's all I've heard from schools. Just like dating, all the pretty girls aren't interested, so now it's time to go find the girl with a "great personality"...
That's right, I started applying to schools in North Carolina.
Supposedly Texas, Florida, and North Carolina are the states most in need of teachers. North Carolina has the distinct advantage of not being either Texas or Florida. Over Christmas break I talked briefly to a girl I graduated with who is teaching in NC, and she tried to convince me it was the thing to do. My dad was down there for a week on business a few years ago, and he told me it's pretty nice down there. It's the South, but it's not the Deep South. Hell, I see more confederate flags and cowboy hats in West Michigan than I ever did living in Missouri, so I'm not too worried. Now I just have to wait by the phone...
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Mr. Brightside
You know that scene in movies where the character goes into the bathroom to wash their face, and as they look up from the sink there's a long emotional pause as they look at themselves in the mirror while dramatic music plays?
That kinda describes the way I've felt for the last few days.
May was an exciting month. Between Tulip Time, Star Wars, and this past weekend spent in Traverse City I've had a lot to do and a lot of fun. In between all of these weekend extravaganzas were some solid weeks of substitute teaching, which not only kept me busy but also kept me away from the Gap.
Now it's June. Time to hurry up and wait for something to happen. School's ending next week, so it means no more subbing jobs. My time will be spent waiting for the clock hands to move at the Gap, or waiting for the phone to ring at home.
Here's the last piece of the puzzle... Yesterday I found out that one of my ex-girlfriends from high school is getting married. Beyond just a little fling or a date to a dance, she was the most significant dating relationship I had in high school. After a bit of awkward transitional time, we eventually got used to being friends and have more or less kept in touch over the last few years. I hung out with her one night around Christmas and she mentioned that she and her boyfriend had been "talking about the future". Now that it's official I'm happy for her, but it's a weird feeling to say the least.
A real job and a girlfriend. When all is said and done, those are the two things I want that I can't seem to attain. And I won't find either in Holland.
So here I am
grown up at 23
Will someone tell me
what it takes to be happy?
The Ataris - "Giving up on Love"
I'm sure you, the reader, are shaking your head at my foolishness or naivete.
I know there are millions of people in the world that are both gainfully employed and involved in relationships, and are all the while still unhappy. I know that having these two things will not unlock the magical door to happyland. I know that more likely than not, there is a good chance for more misery to come of either a job or a girlfriend.
And still, I want both. As irrational, illogical, unbelievable, and unreasonable as it seems I have nonetheless admitted it.
That kinda describes the way I've felt for the last few days.
May was an exciting month. Between Tulip Time, Star Wars, and this past weekend spent in Traverse City I've had a lot to do and a lot of fun. In between all of these weekend extravaganzas were some solid weeks of substitute teaching, which not only kept me busy but also kept me away from the Gap.
Now it's June. Time to hurry up and wait for something to happen. School's ending next week, so it means no more subbing jobs. My time will be spent waiting for the clock hands to move at the Gap, or waiting for the phone to ring at home.
Here's the last piece of the puzzle... Yesterday I found out that one of my ex-girlfriends from high school is getting married. Beyond just a little fling or a date to a dance, she was the most significant dating relationship I had in high school. After a bit of awkward transitional time, we eventually got used to being friends and have more or less kept in touch over the last few years. I hung out with her one night around Christmas and she mentioned that she and her boyfriend had been "talking about the future". Now that it's official I'm happy for her, but it's a weird feeling to say the least.
A real job and a girlfriend. When all is said and done, those are the two things I want that I can't seem to attain. And I won't find either in Holland.
So here I am
grown up at 23
Will someone tell me
what it takes to be happy?
The Ataris - "Giving up on Love"
I'm sure you, the reader, are shaking your head at my foolishness or naivete.
I know there are millions of people in the world that are both gainfully employed and involved in relationships, and are all the while still unhappy. I know that having these two things will not unlock the magical door to happyland. I know that more likely than not, there is a good chance for more misery to come of either a job or a girlfriend.
And still, I want both. As irrational, illogical, unbelievable, and unreasonable as it seems I have nonetheless admitted it.
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