Dressin' Sharp

I love wearing a suit.

West Ottawa's in-house job fair was this Saturday, and such on occasion warrants wearing my suit. I don't get a chance to wear it that often, but I wish I did. Aside from looking professional and all that, I just feel more confident while I'm wearing it. With all the job fairs coming up in April, I should get some more chances to do so. If I had a picture, I'd post it up here. But trust me when I say, I clean up good.

Did I Miss Something?

So, after all the months of people talking about how great Napoleon Dynamite is, I finally got a hold of it watched it.

What a piece of shit.

I can't stand to even look at the guy who plays Napoleon. I hated every single one of the actors in the movie. I wanted to stop watching after about half an hour, but suffered through it. I want that hour and 35 minutes of my life back.

If someone can please explain to me what it was I was supposed to appreciate about this movie, please let me know.

I'm a Lazy Bastard

I realize I haven't blogged in over a week. Have I been caught up in a whirlwind of activity? Not quite. My blog, just like so many other things, has simply fallen victim to my laziness. Why do today what you can put off another three or four days?

I can't say that anything eventful has happened since I last posted. I've gone to work at the Gap, sold a few things on eBay, and have generally been waiting for life to happen to me. I did get a good lunch courtesy of The Flying Dutchman, and hearing from him about the West Ottawa job fair next weekend has given me a less distant date to look forward to.

I'm going back to Kalamazoo on Sunday for a new study, though not in the same format as the last one. It's only a three day hitch, repeated over three weeks. So, $1500 for nine days of lab ratting seems like a good deal to me.

Weird Day

I really do enjoy writing, the problem being that I more often than not find myself without anything to write about. I imagine that if put into a position where more writing were demanded of me, I would become a faster and more prolific writer. Well this morning I found myself coming up with things to write, but no time to do it. I spent the afternoon at the Gap, trying to nurture the ideas and keep them alive long enough to see the creative light of day once I got home. Luckily, I didn't lose them, and have since spent the evening in the rather enjoyable pursuit of actually writing.

Today's shift at the Gap wasn't anything unusual, except for a few comments made as I was leaving. The manager on duty was off in another part of the store, and so when my shift was ending I gave him a quick sitrep (situation report - I watch too many military related things) over our headsets. Apparently what I thought was just a standard list of things to do impressed the younger employees that were there, and two different individuals commented that I should be a manager based on my display of competence. They didn't put it in those terms, but apparently basic competence at one's job is all that they think is necessary for a managerial position.

Hey, if I could get paid a manager's salary without any commitment to stay there once a teaching offer comes along, I'd take it. Somehow I doubt they'd invest in a manager who may only be there for 4 more months.

No Refills

Not being Catholic, I've never really known what to do with Lent. Sure, we Protestants keep track of the 40 days and 40 nights leading up to Easter, but not to the same degree as Catholics. Growing up Methodist, I honestly don't know if we're supposed to observe the same sort of restraint and denial during the Lenten season. I know the parallels to Jesus' time spent in the desert have been mentioned during Lenten services, but I don't remember any guidelines being laid down for expectations during Lent. Really, everything I know about not eating meat on Fridays and making sacrifices during Lent has come second hand from Catholic friends rather than from a sermon.

That being said, I've decided to give up pop for Lent. Not being an overly hedonistic individual, I've never had an overwhelming vice to get rid of. Sitting at IHOP with Joe, giving up pop seems like one of the most beneficial things I could do. I don't drink a lot, but it is a very habitual thing that will take vigilance to adhere to. As a corollary to giving something bad up, I'm also going to try some self-improvement by rededicating my efforts to go to the gym. I say right now that I don't know if I can make the same sort of promise on this as I can for giving up pop, but it's on the agenda nonetheless.

Red Pill or Blue Pill

No matter what happens in life, you've only ever really got two options. Whether it's the most mundane task or a matter of life or death, you've got what you choose to do and what you didn't do. Right or left. Chocolate or vanilla. Right or wrong.

Whatever sequence of decisions, good or bad, has led me here is not the point. I'm here, in the same state I've been in for months, and as of yet the alternate option has not yet presented itself. All the opportunities I tried to create dissolved, crashed and burned on the runway, and suffice to say did not change the situation. Right now my options are to succumb to depression and disillusionment, or laugh at myself and press on.

Happy or sad.

Fight or flight.

Coke or Pepsi.

Make no mistake, I am angry and frustrated to no end about still being home and having no options but to substitute and keep working at the Gap. Crappy jobs or no jobs. Small paychecks or no paychecks. It's what I've got to work with, and so I'm trying to just plug away and get ready to strike at the next opportunity I can either find or make. All I can do is nurture the hope that there is hope.

Hope or despair.

Half empty or half full.

Paper or plastic.

It may be that I've become numb to it all. This may be what going mad feels like. But as down as I get, have gotten, and will still get in the next few months, I do still get excited about Job Fairs in April, and getting letters out to schools in other states this spring.

Stay or go.

Here or there.

For better or worse.

I'll keep on keeping on. Trying to find something positive, something that if it doesn't make me happy, at least makes me less depressed each day.

Because remember, monkeys are funny.


Red Pill or Blue Pill

Fuck Fuck Fuckity Fuck Fuck

Fuck UPN.

Fuck Paramount Pictures.

Fuck Les Moonves.

It was officially announced today that at the end of this season, Star Trek: Enterprise has been canceled.

You may think I'm overreacting. While I may not serve jury duty wearing a Starfleet uniform, and can't speak Klingon, Star Trek has always been a part of my life. I watched reruns of the original series with my dad before I could sit up on my own. Unlike the finite existence of Star Wars, where there could really only ever be 6 movies, there has been new Star Trek without pause for the last 19 years. Star Trek IV: The Voayage Home premiered in 1986, and in 2005 Star Trek: Enterprise is in its 4th season. But there will be no 5th season. There may never be Star Trek again.

I took Enterprise for granted. I did not fully embrace it from the beginning, and I feel guilty for that. I watched the series premire, and then missed a lot of episodes during the first season. I eventually caught up through encores and TLAM's VHS library, but did not become a dedicated viewer until the 2nd season. During the 3rd season, it became known that the series' future was in question, and the Save Enterprise project was born. I quickly joined the forum and e-mail group, and began writing letters to the network executives in order to being the show back for a 4th season. We succeeded last year, and the current 4th season may be the best yet. Knowing that a full 7 year run was by no means guaranteed, the campaign continued this year to ensure a 5th season and beyond. Today marks the darkest hour in that struggle.

There is still a chance, however slim, that another network could pick the show up. There have been quite a few science fiction shows in the last few years that were cancelled, and then brought back for new episodes on another channel. I'm sure that this will be the new goal of the Save Enterprise campaign. But as much as I can hope for a miracle, there is the very real possibility that Paramount will not allow it. The odds are against us, and the situation is grim.


Enterprise NX-01

Cruel Fate! Why do you taunt me?!?!?!?

Working the cash register at the Gap tonight, I saw the cutest girl I have seen in a long long time. If I could have taken a picture, I would have used it as reference to answer the question of "What kind of girl are you looking for?" She wasn't there with her boyfriend. She wasn't there with her husband. She stood like two feet away from me, and all I could do was ring up her stuff and watch her walk away.

There's nothing I can do in that situation. She's the customer, I'm the employee. At best I'm the cute guy at the Gap, at worst I'm a loser who's working there when he's 23.

Kobayashi Maru.

Can I get some children's chewable morphine?

I don't admit to being sick, and really am not sick very often. If I do feel less than 100%, I don't let it stop me from doing anything. I hate people who back out of things because "they're sick". Get over it. If I can get out of bed and go through the day without throwing up, I'm not sick.

Nonetheless, for the last few days, I've had a stuffy and sometimes runny nose. I went through what was left of a bottle of Walgreens brand Dayquill, and bought of bottle of Walgreens Nyquill that I have since polished off. Maybe I didn't follow the recommended dosing closely enough. In fact, after taking two doses of Nyquill the night before and a dose of Dayquill in the morning, I think I may have been drunk at the Gap a couple days ago. And right now as either part of the same "head cold" or as a separate symptom, I have a headache.

Not being a fan of science or doctors, and being prone to hasty and irrational arguments, I have therefore theorized that mucus is in fact crushing my brain. If I don't blow my nose, I believe there stands a good chance that my head will implode.

Nothing in particular

I woke up at 5:17 this morning. There was no reason for me to, I wasn't working at the Gap until noon. And yet in this brief moment somewhere between sleep and consciousness, I remember thinking to myself that I should be getting up at 5:17. I am not a morning person. As anyone who has lived with me knows, if left to my own devices, I may not get out of bed until 1:00 in the afternoon. And yet, I would love to have to get up at 5:17 in the morning, because that would mean that I have a classroom to be in that morning.

But I didn't, so I went back to bed until 10:30.

Today wasn't really that great a day. Nothing particularly great happened. But it still felt like a good day. Maybe I'm just bipolar, or maybe I've finally just lost my mind.

Who the Hell is Seymour Hersh?

Here's more crazy conspiracy theories from the media that in no way has any sort of liberal bias.

I'm a bit conflicted on this particular foreign policy issue. On the one hand, I fully believe that the radical Theocracy that serves as government in Iran needs to be totally stripped of any nuclear capability, and eventually removed from power. On the other hand, I worry about our forces being spread too thin. But wherever you may fall on that particular issue, there is a more fundamental problem at hand. Hersh says his reporting is done "in the hope that publicity would force the administration to reconsider."

I'm sorry, since when was it the job of the media to effect the change or creation of policy? When and if I ever get a government class to teach, I guess I'm screwed. I've never heard of the 4th branch of government that checks everything without any sort of balance, so there goes my Division of Powers lesson.

Whether you believe it or not, the CIA and Department of Defense are both made of up professionals who have dedicated their lives to being experts on every imaginable aspect of foreign policy. Despite what journalists like Hersh would have you believe, the government is not being run by members of President Bush's old college fraternity. So when there are plans for intelligence gathering and reconnaissance missions, don't assume that because you watch CBS News and a few Mikhail Moore movies that you can be a fucking armchair Chairman of the Joint Chiefs.

Addendum...

The Last Angry Man is, as he is more often than not, right about the dangers that may come from being something other than single. So while I may not enjoy my current state of bachelorhood, it does beat being trapped in a cold, loveless, soul-crushing relationship. Been there, done that.

That being said, I still wouldn't mind some female company.

New E-Mail

Alright people, just in case I didn't send you an e-mail saying the same. I'm dropping my umich.edu e-mail address, and jumping on the G-Mail train. If you send e-mails to my umich account, they will be lost in limbo. As for any random blog reader who happens to come upon my post, just keep walking. If I don't know you, I don't want to hear from you.

For those of you I do want to hear from, you can reach me at bdupay@gmail.com

Things I Hate Being...

1. Single
2. Unemployed
3. Broke

I don't see any of these things changing while I'm still in Holland. As to why I don't just pack up and skip town, refer to point #3. I'm stuck here until at least mid-April when the Education Job Fairs start, and even given a best-case scenario I don't think I'll be out of here any earlier than June.

Thank God for Netflix to pass the time.

Bloggity Blog Blog

Sorry, I just couldn't think of a title.

I love looking outside and seeing snow. I'm not talking a light dusting of snow, I'm talking the 8-10 inches of snow we got here in the last week. It's threatened to warm up this weekend and deprive me of this winter wonderland, but last night's weather report promised a much colder week. I was skeptical about the supposed winter storm that did eventually come, so maybe weather forecasters aren't always wrong. But, when your job is to predict the future, what are you gonna do?

(On a related note, I apologize for any inconvenience the snow caused the Captain on his drive to Philly. But since you're spending a week with your girlfriend, at least let me have my enjoyment of the snow.)

It would appear that all the possible windows of getting out of Holland midway through the year have been closed. I applied to 3 jobs in Michigan, calling, e-mailing, and mailing application materials to all 3. Since school's been back in session for a week, I think it's time to stop waiting. None of the out-of-state postings I've looked through have anything in my certification areas, so it looks like I'm stuck here until the career fairs start in April. Having people back home to go out with made Holland livable for a few weeks, but now that everyone's gone it's only a matter of time before malaise and hatred of the world set in again.

On the upside, my mom and I started our Netflix account, and I've been watching TV shows on DVD all week. Right now I'm watching Firefly, and it's as great as I hoped it would be.

I'm Blogging, Dammit, I'm Blogging!

So, Wilson yelling at me (by yelling, I mean commenting using an exclamation point) has got me back in the blog saddle. Really, I've had nothing to talk about. New Year's came and went without a whole lot of fanfare, and there have yet to be any great personal revelations or events to share with the blog-reading public. I will say, though, that I had several thoroughly enjoyable evenings during the course of the Christmas break. Even though only 3 or 4 people I know were actually on something specifically designated as a break instead of just vacation (or unemployment) days, I will always think of this time of year as Christmas Break. And since I'm going to go through both Heaven and Hell until I find a job as one, as a teacher I guess I'll always have a Christmas Break in the same fashion. So, I'll keep calling it Christmas Break.

But anyway, it was good to have people around to go out and play with. The popular destination that I kept being called to (3 times in one week) was The Curragh, Holland's new Irish pub and restaurant. It may not be Ashley's or Connor O'Neil's, but it's a good place. Since I rarely go out to the bar anymore, I made my trips count. While my brother was enjoying the cheapest domestic water he could get, I have developed the expensive need to have good beer. While in Chicago before Christmas I had what may have been the greatest pint of Guinness ever, and I've been trying to follow it up since then.

(On a vaguely tangentially related note, I think I've decided to move to Boulder Colorado. I have been strongly considering Colorado anyway, and when I remembered that there is a second Connor O'Neil's in Boulder that seemed like as good a reason as any to single that particular city out.)

So, while I've really said nothing in this entire post, that's about all I've got right now. I've been in the toy aisles chasing after-Christmas markdowns and doing research for my latest Newsletter Column, and have yet to do anything productive in 2005. Malis and I have been playing a lot of Halo 2, and tomorrow marks my first day back at The Gap all year. I wish I could leave it in 2004, but my bank account is telling me that a crappy job is better than being broke.

A Very 80s Christmas

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all the blog readers out there. The presents I got this year that I enjoy the most are all throwbacks to my childhood. First off, there's the GI Joe mini-series DVD set I got from my parents. I didn't ask for it specifically, but they even ended up getting me the one that came with a figure, though I know they didn't realize either. In between watching episodes of that, I have Metroid and Zelda II: The Adventure of Link from GameBoy's Classic NES series thanks to my brothers.

To continue in the spirit of gift-giving, my mom and I have been talking about setting up a Netflix account. I know TLAM uses (and claims to be addicted to) it, so I'm just looking for a little advice and how-to about it. It says you can have up to 3 DVDs at a time, and that when you send one back they send you the next one on your list. How does your list work? Can you have another DVD "on deck" as the one you want next, or what? I really want it for TV shows like Deadwood and DS9, but would a season set be considered one of my 3 rentals or does it count each individual disc? Please comment or e-mail me if you have any feedback for me on the subject.

Well, that's all for now. This coming week will be full of get-togethers and hopefully some good times, so maybe I can say good riddance to 2004 and have some fun in its final days.

The Big Decision

I spent yesterday in Ann Arbor working on The Newsletter Annual with TLAM (it's gonna be awesome - check your mailboxes. If you're not signed up for it and you want it, let me know). While there, I also ran into a lot of the LS&A Academic Advisors I worked with while they were busy with transfer orientation. While relaying to them my current state of unemployment, I talked with various people about the possibility that's been on my mind over the last few months. I like the weather of the Midwest (though I wish it would snow more), and I like the people of the Midwest. Problem is, I don't know if there are going to be any jobs in the midwest.

Given the entire United States to work with, I've narrowed it down to the final contenders. While Michigan will always be my first choice, for the sake of argument we'll assume that the job market here will stay the same, forcing the decision to go elsewhere. I know I am not going to move south of the Mason-Dixon line - they all compete for worst schools in the nation. On the one coast, Malis has been working on me to follow him out to somewhere within an hour of Philadelphia either in Pennsylvania or New Jersey. On the other coast, Joe and Vicki continually lobby for the state of California in general. But as much as I love those of you in LA (I'm not forgetting Steve) I just don't think I could stand living in the state of California.

And in the middle (well, closer to the West, but you get the idea) I have been growing increasingly fond of the idea of moving to Colorado. Somewhere in the greater Denver area up north, where it snows. Two or three years ago I ran into about 4 people from high school that were planning to move to Colorado after college. When I graduated, I knew 3 people from the School of Ed. who were moving out there, and they were telling me how many jobs there were to be had. Apparently it is a booming area, which means the economy and job market are on the rise. I loved it when I spent two weeks out there in high school, and I guess the idea has stuck with me.

Unless I move in with Malis, wherever I end up I'm going to be out there on my own. For a while, part of the reason I wanted to stay in Michigan was that I would know people here. But apparently everyone I know here is ready to get the hell out, so maybe this spring I too will be making the exodus.

A Few Random Thoughts

1. I found this while jumping online from the MSN homepage. While I love my Alma Matter, I got a little smile out of the fact that U of M was not mentioned on either list. For all those pricks who just had to go to the B-School and U of M Law School, I just like to laugh at the reality that neither is the end-all-be-all in the universe.

2. While I mean no disrespect, and am sorry for the family's loss, I giggled just a bit when I realized his name was Ed Zachary. If you've never heard the joke, ask about it later.

3. I can vouch for Banky Edwards' (Jason Lee in Chasing Amy) assertion that the inker plays just as valuable, if not more so, a role in a comic than does the artist. I'm just finishing the last panel of the FreshMan comic for The Newsletter Annual, and the process of inking it is almost as time consuming as actually drawing in pencil. Your mother was a tracer!

Phoebe Cates where have you gone?

One of the HBO movie channels had Gremlins and Gremlins 2: The New Batch on back to back tonight. I always liked the second one better, as the first one was a lot darker and more malevolent versus the comic genius of the sequel. Christopher Lee as a mad scientist! Phoebe Cates in all her 1980s beauty! Robert Piccardo with hair! But more importantly, Phoebe Cates!

Really, I had no idea who Phoebe Cates was until reading TLAMs The Copybook Tales. But in realizing who she was, I was just as soon disappointed to see that her film career is quite limited. We can always hope for a comeback.

Fuck the World

Today really wasn't the day to put me into situations with customer service expectations. By any objective standard, today's shift at the Gap was no better or worse than any other. They'll never know it, and nothing dramatic happened, but I hated each and every customer that came to my register today.

"Your total comes to $186.59."
I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species.

"Would you like to open a Gap charge account today?"
I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all the French beaches I'd never see.

"Have a great afternoon."
I wanted to breathe smoke.

Before going in to the Gap this morning, I went to the West Ottawa Schools administration building. I had filled out their fucking application with its extra fucking supplemental writing responses, and tailored a new fucking cover letter to their advertised opening. And the old bitch behind the counter told me that it was an old posting that the webmaster should have gotten rid of, and with 5000 people applying to be substitutes there's no way they could accept any more. As far as she was concerned, I could have been hit by an errant school bus on the way out of the parking lot and she would not have given a good God-Damn.

This rejection, followed immediately by my consolation job at the Gap, put into stark focus just how much I hate my life right now.

Just Clerkin'

All day today I felt like Dante Hicks. If you read my blog, I'm guessing you know who Dante Hicks is. Though not scheduled at all this weekend at The Gap, one of the managers called this morning and asked me if I could cover for someone. Though not sleeping on the floor in a pile of my clothes, I was nonetheless roused from my bed in order to go into work. I figured I wasn't going to do much before 4:00 anyway, and I could use the extra cash.

I wasn't a bad day, but it was not a slow and easy day either. Today marked the end of our "Friends and Family" weekend, and as such we had a whole lot of people coming in to use their discounts. And of course, all these customers who had the discounts were purchasing like $300 worth of items, which had to be separated into 30% vs 15% off piles before being rang up. Though I tried to resist for the day, about halfway through the busy shift I responded to a co-worker with "I'm not even supposed to be here today!"

Though I can't hold myself to this, I am going to set a goal that after New Years, I will no longer be at The Gap. It's not a bad job or anything, but I just feel like a tool working there. My hope is that by New Year's I will have used my discount to buy everything I could ever buy there, and since schools will once again be open without breaks I can just make money subbing.

Tomorrow I am going to my Alma Matter to look into a potential opening in their Social Studies department. My brother brought home a school newspaper with an article about class sizes, and it said that there were two openings that they were hoping to find new teachers for in order to reduce class sizes, and the job website confirmed this. The only hitch is that the posted deadline for applications was over a month ago, but I'm hoping that maybe they just haven't had anyone apply and I can still get in. It's only a part-time job for the current school year, but it beats middle school subbing and folding pants. If nothing else I am going to try to get myself into the sub-pool so I have added possibilities for subbing jobs.

Help with Shakespeare

I picked up a 3 day gig teaching English at Holland High School, and the lesson plan just says to stretch Hamlet (the one with Mel Gibson) out for 3 days. It was started yesterday, so we're talking 4 days of 50 minute classes for a 2 hour movie. I take as much time as I can with attendance and announcements, and leave a few minutes for discussion at the end, but I just don't know if I can fill the time. One idea I've had is to bring Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead as a last ditch time filler, but having never seen it I don't know if any high school student would get it. I'm going to rent it tonight and watch it anyway, but if anyone (MW I'm looking at you) has seen it and can give some input, it would be greatly appreciated.

Feelin' Old

I had a dream I was trying to either write papers, finish projects, or study for finals for 5 classes all in one weekend. I don't know if the "Oh shit, I haven't studied for finals" dream is something that stays with you through your whole life, or if it was a reaction to spending time in East Lansing this weekend. While celebrating Mikey B's birthday with some kids from West Ottawa, I definitely felt a little out of place. Not just because I was in East Lansing, but the sense of feeling out of place in a group of college kids in general. I felt it this summer when I worked with a younger staff that would be returning this fall as students while I was already 8 months post-graduation, and I felt it this weekend.

I don't think this would be so bad if I actually felt like an adult in its place. But instead, I am stuck in this crappy state of limbo where I'm too old to act like an irresponsible college kid, but not old enough to have any of the positive trappings of adulthood. I don't fit in running with the college crowd at the bars, and I can't afford to visit and keep up with my friends who are working. None of them are raking in a ton of cash, but at least they have a steady source of income. I went through 5 years at U of M and all I got was this lousy diploma.

I know this is a recurring discussion from me and from my blog, but the holiday season keeps pushing it to the forefront. With every relative or friend who's back in town I see, it means another explanation of how the current state of the economy and school systems has left me subbing part time and working at the Gap, but that despite this I am not a loser.

Time Traveling

I talked to St. Louis girl for about an hour on the phone tonight. We did some very cursory catching up on the main events of our lives in the last 10 years, and she told me about some of my other friends from back in the day and their last known whereabouts. If any of you are really curious about more details, I can talk to you in more depth over e-mail, but suffice to say this is a very intriguing situation that I hope to continue to be able to talk about.

Out of the Blue

I checked my e-mail after getting back from work at the Gap this evening, and received a message from someone I have not seen or talked to in nearly 10 years. As many of you know, before I lived in Holland I spent all of elementary and middle school in a small town in Missouri about an hour west of St. Louis. When I was in 8th grade, my parents decided they had had enough of living away from home, and started planning to move back to Michigan. For me at the time, my whole life was in Missouri, and coupled with teenage angst was not at all happy about moving.

Though I successfully adjusted by about halfway through Freshman year of high school, at the time I was quite literally forced to leave all my friends behind. Chief among these friends was the core group of Mike, Nick, and Charlie. And then there was the girl. Angie. She just moved to Missouri that year, and though we were never "going out", we became very close friends.

She e-mailed me because she's now living in Detroit.

It was one of those "I don't know if you remember me, I hope this is the right person" e-mails, so I replied to her letting her know that she got the right person. I have no idea what prompted her to track me down, but all I know is that this is the sort of crazy, out-of-left field thing that just might make my life exciting for the first time in a long time.

Back From Hiatus

I'm so ashamed... I briefly turned in to one of those slacker bloggers who only posts like once a week. However shall I regain your trust that The Rant will be updated with the frequency you have all come to expect? Eh... I'll figure something out.

So, unfortunately, there has been no radical whirlwind of change in my life that has kept me from blogging. After a paperwork day and a training day, I've now officially been put on the schedule at the Gap. We had our Holiday Planning meeting on Sunday to discuss sales promotions and policies during the holiday rush, so let me tell you was that ever exciting. It was mandatory for the whole staff, so seeing all of my coworkers confirmed my suspicion that aside from the management and like one other person, I'm the only one who's not a minor. So far the managers love me because I actually work, unlike the rest of the staff who congregate in the fitting room area and gossip. Sigh... By the way, if you want a 15% off card for use the first weekend of December let me know... I have "Friends and Family" discount cards to give to people.

For good or for ill, I started trying to play Halo 2 on my brother's X-Box. It took me forever to think of a good, unique username, since 350,000 other people have signed up before me and taken all the ones I could think of. I finally came up with one this afternoon, and jumped in where angels fear to tread. Thanks to The Captain I got a free 2 month trial of X-Box Live, so I'm trying to hold my own against 12 year olds in the most basic matches in order to slowly get a handle on how to effectively kill them. Probably a month before Halo 3 is released I'll be good enough to actually jump into random games and not be totally helpless.

So, if I'm not blogging or trying to explain the difference between loose-fit and relaxed-fit jeans, I'll be in Halo-land bitch-slapping 12-year-olds with a rifle stock.

A Little of This, a Little of That

No coherent theme for today's show, just a few random thoughts.

1. You've Lost that Lovin' Feeling
Last night was the annual Treehouse of Horror season premier for The Simpsons. As many have feared, there wasn't a single thing that made me laugh in the episode. It barely held my interest. It was a tired rehash of previous ideas at best, a parody of itself at worst. It was like a Family Guy episode instead of a Simpsons episode. I thought last season showed some promise in reversing the downward trend, but last night took a decidedly sharp plunge. In the past the Treehouse of Horror allowed for some of the most creative and innovative ideas, but last night was just plain sad.

2. The Sound and the Fury
I don't know if it was just named since it only started in full today, or if it was just declassified, but the current major offensive against insurgent stronghold Fallujah is named Operation Phantom Fury. That's how you name a military operation. It harkens back to the good names like Operation Overlord and Operation Desert Storm, not the boring names like Enduring Freedom.

3. Going Dutch
I subbed at Holland High School today, and my continuing experience with the Holland School system makes me even more grateful for having gone to West Ottawa on the North side of town instead. The administration has no idea what's going on, the building seems to have been designed by the monkeys that they couldn't get to use typewriters, and it would appear that on any given day half of the English department is out of the building. By contrast, I was at Grand Haven High School on Friday. The building is like a temple to education, and it seems to be a tightly run ship.

New Stuff - No Politics (for now)

As alluded to in the previous post, the Star Wars Episode III teaser trailer came out on Thursday. After watching it about half a dozen times, I can safely say HOLY SHIT it's going to be awesome! I don't want to hear it from all of you who didn't like Episodes I and II - I'm excited about it and I think it's going to be worth the 20 year wait. Between armies of Wookies, the birth of Darth Vader, and more Natalie Portman hotness, what's not to love?

Also of note, today was my first day "orientation" at the Gap. I filled out my paperwork, promised I wouldn't sexually harass anyone, and got my discount card. Who knows what life in the retail world over the holiday season will bring, but it'll beat sitting at home waiting for substitute jobs that aren't coming.

Moving Forward

The election is over, and George W. Bush received a majority of popular and electoral votes. We can either spend the next four years baying for blood, or we can try to put the divisiveness of the campaigns behind us. I'm not going to spend another post going into why I support him - you know why, and nothing you can say will change my mind about it. Likewise, nothing I say will change your opinions.

In the last few posts and their subsequent comments, tempers raged and flared. I lashed out at the assumption made by many people around me that the only possible explanation for my views is a lack of information, implying that I just wasn't enlightened enough to agree with them. Never did it cross their minds that it took four long years of introspection and analysis to develop my political ideology.

I took cheap shots at the liberals during the campaign, and I had even more cheap shots taken at me. I sincerely hope that now that the campaigns are over, rational thought will replace the primal mudslinging that has characterized the political discussions of the last few months. I think you may have some ideas worth hearing, but I'm not going to listen when you preface it by calling me a war-mongering ideologue.

I don't want to have to spend every post replying to 6 comments worth of the same rhetoric. The Star Wars Episode III - Revenge of the Sith trailer is going live online any minute now, and I want to be able to talk about that instead.

First Things First

1. With 98% of Ohio results reporting in, Kerry and everyone else last night knew that there were not enough outstanding votes to take the lead back from Bush. Edwards was the one who kept pushing to never give up until every vote had been counted, come Hell or high water.

2. After being surrounded by them for 5 years, I can say that most lawyers are, actually, evil. If you're ever in doubt, just talk to someone hoping to go to U of M's Law School. Kerry and Edwards had their private jets with "legal SWAT teams" ready to go challenge every vote in the nation. That's what I call a lot of lawyers.

3. Yes, right now the nation is divided on all of the hot issues that marked this campaign. In both Kerry's concession speech and Bush's acceptance speech, they addressed their concerns over the bipartisan polarity that exists and both made the first statements toward bringing both sides back together. Just like Reagan did in 1984 and Clinton did in 1996, I think Bush's second term will make great efforts to reconcile the harsh division of the government and the nation. What doesn't help is people like John Edwards, who in his introduction of Kerry this afternoon went out of his way to enumerate the causes of division in the nation, and even describe the situation as "Two Americas". It's this sort of rabid hatred of the administration by the ultra liberal left and sanctimoniousness of the far right that need to be purged for us to move forward.

4. Loss of privacy? You can't decry the homeland security measures of the administration one minute and demand complete immunity from all searches and seizures the next. I've not lost any of my privacy, and I'm guessing none of you have either. If you're not doing something illegal, you shouldn't have to worry about someone getting a warrant against you. If the FBI, NSA, CIA, ATF, and other agencies whose job it is to ensure national security have to answer to the media for every operation they conduct then they have no ability to do their job. Despite all the rampant conspiracy theorists out there, we are not going to have Marshall law, or a loss of civil liberties under this administration or any other.

5. Lies and deception? You're right, I'm sorry, every other person in a position of authority throughout human history is completely honest and blame free except for those in the Bush administration. Did the President make decisions based on intelligence reports that were completely infallible? No, he saw the same intelligence reports that Clinton had seen, that Al Gore would have seen, and he made his decision based on the best information available. If that information was not reliable, then whoever provided it should be held accountable. OH WAIT, he was! George Tenet resigned as director of the CIA.

6. Government sponsored religion? We were, and still are, a Nation under God. Whether people like it or not, we are a faith-based nation. This is not to say we are a theocracy by any means, but we are undeniably a nation whose religion is consistently front and center in our lives. Whoa, did I miss the creation of the First Church of the United States? Did we add a cross to our flag when I wasn't looking? Sure, it says "In God we Trust" on our money. But it doesn't say a Nation under one God. We are a Nation under Jehovah, The Holy Trinity, God of Abraham, Allah, and dozens of other names that we each give to God. Nobody ever said which god you had to believe in, or even that you believe in anything. But you're right, we should totally abandon all churches and other agencies with religious affiliation and forbid them from carrying out charitable works and welfare. Instead of helping out those local institutions who know the disadvantaged in their communities, we should create massive federal help centers paid for by magical funding, not middle class tax hikes.

Give it up Jackass!

Kerry, you sniveling weasel, concede to the fact that you've lost Ohio. Even if 90% of the provisional ballots are for you, it's not enough to reverse The President's lead. Edwards gave his little Howard Dean-esque rallying cry in Boston, and the masses were promptly told to go home. The only support you and the Democratic Party has is from the bourgeois lawyers in the Northeast, so I don't know what else you're still expecting. Go drown your sorrows in a bottle of ketchup.

Kerry claims to care only about ensuring the democratic process for everyone in the country, regardless of what the outcome is. And, in true fashion, after saying this last week he'll call out his army of lawyers just like his running mate to litigate this nation within an inch of its life this week.

Well, it's 3:30 in the morning, and since I'm not working tomorrow I might as well stay up to see what happens in the Reagan Building. Bush is waiting for one more state to be called before making a speech, and since he's clearly ahead in Iowa, Nevada, and New Mexico I don't think it will be a problem.

Countdown to Chaos

Thanks to The Last Angry Man for backing me up. I know my previous post may have been a bit over the top, but sufficed to say I have a great deal of anxiety over the idea of an America under John Kerry. I simply don't trust him and his policies. Unlike the rhetoric of anti-Bush voters, my distrust of Kerry is based on his weak at best, treasonous at worst, record in the Senate and not on some unjustified hatred of him as a person.

Granted, our government is designed so that no matter how much things change, the more they stay the same. There are enough checks and balances to prevent any sudden swing towards any radical policy. And sure, in his own way, deluded and irrational as I may view it, I'm sure Kerry really does believe that he has the nation's best interests in mind. But, not only do I not agree with the ways he wants to do things, I don't believe Kerry actually has any realistic plans to do the things he says he will.

Into the Lion's Den

I barely survived the afternoon spent with my mom's family in Lansing. My dad and I arrived around halftime - two Republican Wolverines in a house full of Socialist Spartans. My brother is at MSU, two aunts and my grandfather are alumni, and one uncle is on the faculty there. My mom had been there since last night, and had explained to my extended family that I was voting for Bush. They didn't want to hear why, they were too busy trying to convince me I was wrong and just needed to hear Kerry's ideas one more time. For those of you still dumb enough to be making a gametime decision in the voting booth, let me give you something to chew on. This is why I'm voting for Bush.

Welcome to John Kerry's America...
International Policy
Kerry will hold true to his words, and pull US troops out of Iraq within the first 2 years of his presidency. Since he loves Vietnam so much, just picture Saigon and you'll get an idea of how this will happen. This will not be victory with honor, or even a tactical retreat. No, he'll pull the troops out right in the middle of a mission and leave the fragile Iraqi democracy to the wolves. This will show Iran that we really don't care about the Middle East anymore, and they will promptly test out all of their new missiles on Israel.

After pulling out the troops, he'll give France and Germany back their oil fields in Iraq in the first of many attempts to bend over backwards to please Old Europe. In case you're wondering, France and Germany had no moral objections to participating in the creation of a Democratic Iraq - they only resisted because it meant losing the oil fields they had been giving Saddam money and food for, both of which went towards building his army instead of helping the Iraqi people.

So after completely abandoning the War on Terror, Kerry will sit atop the Ivory Tower of the UN rubbing elbows with other losers like Kofi Annan, all the while claiming to be deeply concerned about crises and tragedies around the world. Kerry will slowly retreat every American asset back within our borders, and proceed to cower here hoping that nobody bothers us. Being from Massachusetts, he wants to make the US a "City on the Hill" where we can talk about how great we are instead of actually doing something. And in proud UN tradition, we'll sit atop our hill just like the UN peace-keepers did in Rwanda, watching the rest of the world murder itself.

Domestic Policy
The latest video released from Osama Bin Laden is basically threatening the US to vote for John Kerry. Personally, if Bin Laden tells me to vote for Kerry, that's even more reason to vote for Bush. Bin Laden is hoping that the US will go the way of Spain and elect a new leader who will cave into the demands of terrorists. Bin Laden knows that if Kerry is elected Al Qaeda will be free to rebuild itself and do whatever it wants. They've been planning something big for a long time, and Kerry will blissfully ignore that while he invites Bin Laden to Camp David for tea and cookies. As a result, I pray that I'm wrong, if Kerry is elected there will be another attack on the US before the end of 2005. I don't think it will be in the same scope or design as the World Trade Center attacks, I think it will be something designed to kill as many innocents and as many Jews as possible. Think along the lines of blowing up Jewish schools or synagogues on Yum Kippur. Think along the lines of blowing up a High School State Championship Game, or a prom. They don't hate our freedom, they don't hate our military... they hate us. They want to kill us, and they'll try to kill as many of us as they can once Kerry makes it a lot easier for them to do so.

Kerry has promised to add two new divisions to the US military. Well, that's going to be hard to do since everyone that can get out will get out since Kerry has no support from our troops. And is building the military free? No, that will be the first new tax you'll pay. Oh but don't worry, there will be plenty of other taxes to keep it company. You want a large government controlled health care system? Well, you'll pay for one but your coverage and services won't improve any. You want social security reform? Oh you'll get it, but it'll mean paying 20% of your paycheck to Social Security.

Kerry's domestic policy is to create a socialist state. I know you hippies think socialism will be great, but why don't you go ask Europe how it's working out for them. European nations don't spend any of their national budget on defense, have 20-40% income taxes to fund all their government programs, and still don't have the same level of service provided to their citizens that the US does.

"You're guilty conscience may force you to vote Democratic, but deep in your hearts you long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king!" - Sideshow Bob

Good God do I Hate Grant Morrison

I warn you now, this is going to be a nerdy fanboy post. Any of you who have spent any amount of time around me know that about 8 years ago I got back into reading comic books on a regular basis. I started off with just a few titles a month that I followed, and the list grew until eventually I was buying about 15 different titles a month at my high point in college. Since then I have gradually pared the number down, and last fall when I started student teaching and thus no longer making money, I stopped cold turkey.

Well, this summer I was living back on campus right down the street from the comic book store, and making money again to afford to purchase said comics. With the bane of Art Fair came the hidden blessing of the comic book store's 3 for $1 bins out on the sidewalk. So, for about $25 I was able to pick up most of what I had missed in the preceding six months, albeit with a severely shorter list of titles I would continue to follow. But, even after this there were still some large gaps in the issues I had, so I only flipped through the new issues instead of really reading them.

About a week ago, enter X-Men Legends for my Gamecube. I had been waiting for this game for months, and it spurred a rededication to getting caught up in my comics. An online order later, I think I've filled in the gaps and am ready to get up to the present.

The blessing of buying a year's worth of comics is that you don't have to wait a month to see how the story ends. I just finished reading the final two arcs of a writer named Grant Morrison, though to call him a writer is using the term loosely. This man is a hack of the highest order, and I hope he never again even writes on the back of a napkin. His story was convoluted, made huge jumps in both narrative progression and logic, and did not exhibit even the slightest grasp on the most basic aspects of the characters. That is, when he used the main characters, since half of what he did focused on some guy who didn't exist a page earlier and all of a sudden we're supposed to view him as the second coming. Just flipping through what the new writer has, I'm actually excited to be reading again. From what I've seen, the art is exponentially better, and the story doesn't require hitting myself in the head in order to get through.

He's actually treating the characters and their world in the way they're supposed to be used, instead of trying to be some daring, risk-taking, self-aggrandizing, post-modern hack.

So there you go. Fanboy rant over. Come back next time for a "what if?" sneak peek of (Heaven forbid) John Kerry's America.

Can't Sleep... Clowns Will Eat Me

This past weekend, I had some disturbing dreams. Not nightmares, not even bad dreams really. But the kind of dream that I wake up from eternally thankful that it was not reality. The first was Thursday night, and the second was Saturday. Seeing this every-other-day pattern, I wondered if they would continue last night, but thankfully they did not.

Like I said - the dreams were not that bad. But it was the unexpected nature of their subjects that got to me. Both of them were set in college, despite the fact that it's been nearly a year since I graduated. And though I graduated almost a year ago, since I spent the final semester student teaching it's been a year and a half since I last took exams and studied like a college student. And both dreams involved my ex-girlfriend - which is even more odd since I haven't seen her in over 2 years, and have not thought about her in months.

In the first dream Thursday night, I was in Holland and had to drive back to Ann Arbor for a final exam. The exam was a combination of two History classes I took - one Junior year and one Senior year. Though the subject was more closely related to the course taken Junior year, my unbelievable lack of preparation and complete befuddlement of the subject was much too close to the reality of the class I took Senior year. Not only was I running against the clock to get back for the exam, but I needed to get back early so that I could review notes and materials after having not been to the class in a month. In the dream, I arrived on campus with time to spare, and was headed to the lecture hall my exam was in for some last minute cramming. Along the way, I ran into the aforementioned ex-girlfriend, facing down a scenario much like what happened in real life. In the dream we were in the process of breaking-up, and in reality I ran into her like this right after I had broken up with her, and in both cases she had gone from acceptance of this to the need for argument and discussion over the matter. I had to deal with it in real life, but in this dream scenario I was lucky enough to wake up before finishing the confrontation.

I don't remember the details of the second dream from Saturday all that well. All I do remember is that the narrative of the dream involved the ex-girlfriend and I in a much more stable and happy relationship than ever really existed in my waking life.

It's a bit disconcerting to have her intruding into my dreams, and a bit confusing. As I said, I have not given her so much as a casual thought in months. There's no unrequited love on my part - I took great comfort and solace in the fact that I broke up with her on my terms only after trying every conceivable course to mend our relationship. The psychology major in me is trying to figure out if I was actually dreaming of her, if she represented something greater and more metaphorical, or if there is some unconscious conflict within myself that needs to be resolved.

I guess there's a good chance that I'm on the brink of a High Fidelity-esque "What does it all mean?" top 5 countdown to figure out where I am in my current state of romantic stagnation, but I don't think so. I have no plans to drag out the little black book and try to piece together the rended scraps of my love life.

Keep on Trucking

I did the math before I left, and I made the correct guess that my car would roll over 100,000 miles at some point during my weekend trip to Chicago. Of course, I have a digital odometer so it didn't actually roll over, but I like to use the vernacular in describing this event. I had my digital camera with me, planning to take a "before and after" shot of 99,999 and then 100,000 miles, but I ended up not doing it. Sure, it's a monumental achievement in the life of a car, but I decided not one that needed to be saved for posterity.

Before I left on Friday, I got an oil change on said automobile. Reaching what is undoubtedly a "higher mileage" level, I chose to put some more premium oil in the V-Dub. I don't really know if it was worth the extra $5 (well, $10, but I guess I can get a $5 mail in rebate that will arrive in 6-8 weeks).

I've got a few other things on my mind, but want to give each one its own dedicated post. Keep checking back over the next few days for some posts with a tad more substance than these sort of benign updates.

We Named the Dog Indiana

Played a round of golf this morning with Mails and Opaluski, and by the time I got to the back 9 I was doing pretty well, all things considered. It's amazing how much further south Indy really is... it was a beatiful warm and sunny day. It was perfect weather for golf - just cool enough that you weren't warm with pants on and warm enough to wear short sleeves.

While the weather down here is mild, nothing can make up for the surroundings. We went to a Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch after golf, and I have not seen a more wretched hive of scum and villany in some time. Everywhere I looked, Colts' fans running up and down the ailes, yelling, jumping, drinking, throwing things - and that was the women. Even in civilization it's the boonies down here.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about where I'm going to head this summer/fall. After the job search in Michigan turned up nothing, and barring the complete retirement of an entire generation of teachers, I think I've accepted that I may be heading out yonder. I know that the Carolinas, Florida, and Texas are in need of teachers, but I refuse to move to any of those states. Right now the top list (given that Michigan will always be #1) is made up of Colorado, Virginia, New York (upstate), and Pennsylvania. I know California is hiring, and I know people out there who are trying to convince me to move out there, but I don't think I could live in California. So, as the months of subbing go on, we'll see where I end up this next school year.

Blogging 'Cross the USA

Tonight's blog comes to you from rainy and dreary Indianapolis. I left Holland last night to meet up with Malis in Chicago, and then we continued down I-65 into Indy. While I hate driving in the rain and in the country in the dark, I love driving in cities at night. Ever since I was a kid, I love the lighted tunnels and night skylines of big cities. We'd drive through St. Louis, Detroit, Milwaukee, and other Midwestern cities while on vacations. I never want to live in a big city, and city life does not hold the same awe for me as it does many others, but I do love driving through.

Tonight's plan is haning out with the boys for poker and more Jeopardy on Playstation. Since U of M pulled it out against Purdue, I don't have to worry about hearing about it from the 3 MSU kids. It should be a good night, and we'll see if my previous poker luck holds out.

Free at last!

I actually got out of Kalamazoo on Wednesday, but after two weeks of not being able to go anywhere I haven't been sitting down at my computer long enough to blog since I've been home. All in all, now that I got my paychecks, there are far worse ways to earn $2500. The other people there with me were a good group, so were I to do it again I doubt I would be as fortunate. I don't think I could do another 2 week stay, but a few days for a few hundred bucks would be worth it.

In my absence, it seems that there has been raging debate and accusations about metrosexuality. Thank you to the Watergirl for defending me and Wilson for putting things into a more proper perspective. And Jon, shut up. Showering regularly, wearing clean clothes, and not peeing on things does not a metrosexual make. I buy stuff at J. Crew, and I did buy my iPod... but I hate sushi, I hate spending more than $3 on any soap, shampoo, or other bathroom products, and I don't even know what else defines a metrosexual.

Anyway... it's good to be home.

My Life as a Lab Rat - Days 14 and 15

Did anyone celebrate Columbus Day yesterday? Did you bring your neighbors blankets infected with smallpox and plant the Spanish flag on their lawn? Well, you should have.

I'm finally out of here tomorrow morning, and it can't come soon enough. After two weeks in here, this weekend is going to be a glutton fest. Not all at once, but I want:
- Buffalo Wings
- Chinese Food
- Pizza and breadsticks
- Chocolate
- Chalupas

After all this food, and after sitting on my ass for two weeks, I'm also eager to get into a workout routine. Now that I've got $1 a visit membership to Ultimate Fitness just like a mile away, and since I'm going to buy an Ipod with some of this cash, hopefully I can stick to it.

My Life as a Lab Rat - Day 13

Take that Michael Vick! Oh no, you're still adjusting to West Coast offense. Oh no, you're not going to start 5-0. HA!

We got some new people here for a different study, and I don't like them. Some chach that was watching the game with a few of us kept grabbing the remote and flipping to other channels. It's one thing to flip to another game during a commercial or halftime, but he was flipping to the Colts/Raiders in between downs. Hey, newsflash Chachie, you're in Michigan. It was a close game, and you've got six guys that are on the edge of their seats watching it. He looks like one of those damned stoner slacker hippie throwbacks, with his beard and scraggly hair, hemp necklace and hemp woven ski-cap. Go hug a tree, hippie.

My Life as a Lab Rat - Day 12

Just like dorm food, the food around here has lost its novelty and appeal. Some meals are still good, but the endless parade of bland chicken dishes has worn out its welcome. I like chicken in most cases, but we have absolutely no options for seasoning here.

The common feeling around here is that Wednesday can't get here soon enough. When I heard that Martha Stewart's prison sentence was only 5 months long, I laughed at how insignificant it was. Now, after being stuck in here for only a week and a half, it seems like a far stiffer punishment than it did before. Sure, it's nothing compared to actually being in prison, but I'm still ready to blow this joint.

My Life as a Lab Rat - Day 11

Just finished watching High Fidelity, and I had forgotten just how great it was. I mean, I own it and could watch it at any time, but I haven't seen it in probably more than a year. I have wanted to watch it lately, but the copy I own is on VHS, is buried with the rest of my stuff, and we don't really have a VCR set up to play it on. I almost bought the DVD at Best Buy, but since I wasn't making any money I figured I couldn't start replacing VHS with DVD yet.

My ex-girlfriend is the one that really got me into John Cusack movies. Her favorite was Say Anything and as I remember, didn't like Rob Gordon in High Fidelity because she thought he acted like a jerk compared to his other roles. Looking at it now, I think I like it more for that reason. Sure Lloyd Dobbler is a great guy - one of my heroes - but none of us can actually be Lloyd. Rob's just like all of us - he screws up, he acts like an ass sometimes, but he works hard to do the right thing.

My Life as a Lab Rat - Days 9 and 10

Yeah, I've gotten lazy. Really, most of the days here blend together without a whole lot of high points that are really worth relaying to the general blog-reading public. Well, we did have the chicken fingers dinner again tonight, so I guess that's a high point.

To start with, just ignore the little tiff between Malis and I over the Mac issue... he just wanted to goad me a bit and I replied in kind.

After receiving comments and support to this effect from Wilson and Vicky, I started a new short story with the main character of Neil Beckman from a submission to The Newsletter earlier this spring. I wrote a bit two days ago, and have spent the last two hours or so listening to mellow music and working at it a bit more. I've been jumping back and forth within the chronology of the story I've got in my head, writing out little bits of it that come to me figuring that I'll fill in the holes later. When I first wrote it I had thought of more after what became the ending, but since I was already 800 words into a 500 word limit story I wrapped it up in somewhat of a cliffhanger.

The overall story I have in my head is broken up into five parts. Part one is what I first wrote this spring, and what I started the other day is more or less part three. I just started part four this evening while also working on part three, and came up with the basic idea of part two. I have no idea when and if it would be published, but I admit that it is fun to just work on it for myself.

In Response to Laudec

Yeah, I get it... your powerbook works better than a PC. I have used Macs... the Gargoyle office only had Macs... Saline used Macs... Holland Schools use Macs... I used a Mac half the time I was in a computer lab at U of M... I've used Mike and Dave's Macs.

And so, when it came time to ditch my desktop and buy a laptop, I looked around. And given the facts and knowledge I had from my experience in using Macs, they didn't do anything a PC couldn't do, and I had more problems using them than I ever had using a PC. Therefore, my opinion was that a Mac was not for me.

Congratulations, you work in IT. I may not need to upgrade things on a daily basis or open up the BIOS more than once a year, but I know what RAM is, I hate AOL, and I've never taken a computer to a store to fix it. You talk about doing the "right to an opinion dance", well you've been doing the "Kiekintveld I'm an engineer so my shit is always right and more important than anyone else's dance".

Don't give me this shit.

My Life as a Lab Rat - Day 8

Hooray for Pizza Day!

Today is a benchmark in the course of the study... today marks the half-way point, and to celebrate we each got our own pizza from Domino's. The last two days or so the food has been declining in quality, so this meal from the outside world was welcome refuge. Starting tomorrow, the menu should recycle back to its beginning and repeat for the duration of our time here.

Of course, I'm not sure this post will actually be published. Blogger is acting pissy, and Day 7 has not yet been published on the blog. Every time I try, I get a blank screen and an error message. So, whenever you finally read this, there you are.

My Life as a Lab Rat - Day 7

Again, posting a little after the fact... not a whole lot going on here. I think the boredom and sense of cabin fever is starting to set in a bit. I'm able to keep myself occupied with the internet, movies, reading, TV, etc. I don't mind the facilities here, I just wish I could get out for a bit. Even on the days at home where I didn't do anything, I tried to find at least one errand or something to run so I could get out of the house for a bit.

I'm not complaining too much... I think it's all well worth the eventual payoff. But, it'll be good to get out of here.

My Life as a Lab Rat - Day 6

This post is a little late, coming on the day afterwards instead of the night of. I watched the two new shows on ABC, and since Boston Legal ended at 11:00, I didn't get around to posting last night.

Not that there's a whole lot to post about... the highlight of my day was winning at Trivial Pursuit after dinner. Between the poker game and that, it would seem that I've got a lucky streak lately. I guess we'll see what that means once I get out of here.

My Life as a Lab Rat - Day 5

Not much to talk about today. I watched the Michigan game, and was glad to see a solid victory even though it was never really in doubt. While watching it on ABC, I saw a bunch of previews for their new fall shows. As a result, I ended up watching the encore 2 hour premiere of Lost, because really, what else do I have to do?

It was actually pretty good, and left me wanting to watch the next new episode on Wednesday night. Tomorrow, I am going to watch the series premieres of Desperate Housewives and Boston Legal. The former just looks interesting enough to warrant watching the premiere, and the latter can be described in only one word. SHATNER! I love William Shatner, and his performance alone is what makes me want to tune in. The previews look really good, so we'll see of ABC ends up being the one network to rise above the depths of reality TV. Lord knows NBC's in the crapper with nothing but The Apprentice and Joey to hang its hat on, I don't even know what's on CBS, and FOX has sunk even lower than any derogatory comment made about it in the 90's could ever do justice.

Well, that's all from me. Time to play some GameBoy.

My Life as a Lab Rat - Day 4

The day's not quite over yet, but I just had to write down that I WON AT POKER! I played a round of Texas Holdum with some of the guys here, and after 2 hours I finally took the chips. I've learned from some of my mistakes in the games I've played before, so with a little thinking and a little luck I actually cleaned the last guy out on all in.

As far as the rest of the day, the food was a little disappointing today compared to yesterday. Again, it's at about East Quad quality, so it's hit and miss.

I watched Jersey Girl and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind today. I was actually pleasantly surprised by Jersey Girl. I mean, I wanted to like it and I wanted it to be good because of Kevin Smith, but I was really afraid of how it would be. Even in the beginning with Jennifer Lopez it was good the whole way through. I really felt for Affleck's character, and was reminded of just how beautiful Liv Tyler is. If you haven't seen it, it's worth a rental.

After watching Eternal Sunshine... I think I can safely say that I don't like Charlie Kaufman. I saw Being John Malkovich on a bad double date, so my perception of it is colored by that. But I hated Adaptation, and I was just bored with Eternal Sunshine...

Well, that's all from me here in the maze.

My Life as a Lab Rat - Day 3

Today was a much better day than yesterday. After an ECG and a blood draw this morning, there was nothing else scheduled. We had the day to ourselves, and it was much better than running back and forth to the lab. I got some reading done, wrote my column for The Newsletter, watched some TV, and just finished watching the debates. Adding to the freedom of the day was the fact that dinner consisted of chicken tenders and french fries. You all know that I usually don't ask for any more in a meal than that, so I was happy.

My Life as a Lab Rat - Day 2

Today was one of the two most invasive days of the study, the final day being the other. Basically, they had to establish baseline data today, which meant like 5 ECGs during the day, and about 8 blood draws. The amount of blood taken is a vial about the size of a pen cap, but taking one every few hours adds up to a lot of sticking. I have no love of needles, but no great fear of them. It's more annoying than anything else. But, after today we only give a blood sample once a day.

Otherwise, things here aren't too bad. The food is at East Quad level or higher, so I won't starve. But, we only get so much and have no other sources of food, so hopefully I can lose a few pounds without the temptation of snacking. The staff brought back movie rentals we had requested, so I'm going to watch Eternal Sunshine on the Spotless Mind, Jersey Girl, and The Punisher because I didn't have to pay for them. I'm still plugging away at The 9-11 Commission Report, and I started outlining the next issue of FreshMan this afternoon.

Other than that, I've still got 13 days to find the cheese at the other end of the maze.

My Life as a Lab Rat - Day 1

I checked into the Jasper Clinic for my study in K-Zoo today. I guess that makes it sound like some sort of Betty Ford detox... it's not. After collecting a sample from me, I got some lunch - just a turkey sandwich, fruit cup, and cookies, but it did the job. I spent the afternoon getting situated, and as you can tell I made sure that wireless access worked. Haven't really talked with the other lab rats much... it seems like most of them have done one of these before and I'm the youngest one here.

So far nothing unexpected or unusual that makes me want to run screaming. Really, it's like a combination of summer camp and the first few days in the dorm. We've got uniforms (scrubs), a community bathroom, and institutionalized food that is nothing special, but for the most part OK. The apple pie with dinner was actually really good... though not quite as good as East Quad's apple crisp.

I think I brought enough to keep me busy. So far all I've done today is use my computer. I brought half a dozen books with me, my Gameboy and a few games, and they have TVs with cable, VCRs and DVD players. They have a small video library, and it sounds like they can rent movies for us if we ask.

So, it seems like it won't be too much to go through in order to make $2500. We'll just have to see if I feel the same way on day 7.

Requested Short Story

This was a short story I wrote for The Newsletter this summer. I tried to send it to Malis over IM, but it wouldn't work. So, he suggested I post it here. For those who have not read it in The Newsletter, I hope you enjoy.

~ Brad

“Thinkin’ and Drinkin’”

Neil Beckman stared absentmindedly into his beer, vaguely hearing the conversations around him. Seated net to him at their table was his friend Rob, immersing those around him in one of his stories from their undergraduate glory days.
“So then we hear the cops coming into the house, and me and Neil jump under the bed of this chick we barely even know, trying to hide from ‘em. Just then, the chick stumbles in with her boyfriend, and they start going at it on the bed above us, not realizing we’re there! You remember that, Neil?” Rob said as he nudged him with his elbow.
“Huh?” Neil replied, as if awoken from a trance.
“You remember that party sophomore year when we hid under that chick’s bed?”
“Oh yeah… great idea, dumbass.”
“Hey, shut up, you weren’t even paying attention.”
“Yeah, sorry. I was thinking ‘bout something,” Neil responded.
“Well less thinkin’, more drinkin’,” Rob replied, more like an order than a suggestion.
Neil couldn’t think of a reason to challenge Rob on it, so he chugged down a good third of the beer in his glass. As he set the glass back down on its coaster, his eyes met those of a girl seated a few tables away. Her eyes were a very pale blue, almost stormy grey, yet bright and piercing at the same time. She had that kind of cuteness about her that Neil always fell for, and she seemed to be equally distracted from her party as Neil was from his…
…when the sudden chirp of his cell phone made Neil jump as he realized he had been staring at the girl. He quickly regained his composure as he dug the phone out of his pocket, knowing that since most of his friends were seated at the table around him only one person could be calling him. He held the phone out in front of him, confirming that “Jen” flashed on the display screen before answering the call, her third of the evening.
“Hello? What… yeah, I’m at the bar… hold on, WHAT? I can barely hear you,” Neil all but screamed into the phone as he held a finger in his other ear in an attempt to drown out the ambient noise around him. “I’m gonna have to call you back in just a minute, OK? No, just let me get outside so I can hear you. Alright, bye for a sec,” Neil said in a frustrated tone apparent to those seated around him.
“Trouble with the little lady?” Rob poked at Neil, hoping to rile him a bit.
“Yeah, Idunno. We were arguing about something when I left to come here, so I don’t know,” Neil answered, not sure if he was even fooling himself. “I gotta go call her back,” Neil sighed as he made his way towards the bar’s back exit. Unconsciously, Neil directed his attention to the table where the cute girl had been sitting, only to find it empty.
“Poor bastard,” Rob offered to no one in particular as he took down the rest of his drink.
Neil tugged on the other sleeve of his coat as he stepped outside into the parking lot, angling himself towards the building in an attempt to put his back to the wind. He wasn’t sure which he was steeling himself against more, the wind or the voice on the other end of the line as he dialed Jen’s number. “Hey. Yes, I’m still at the bar, it’s only 11:30. I don’t know, probably about another hour or so. Well the bar closes at 2, so definitely before then. Yeah, I know we’ve got that thing tomorrow, don’t worry. No, I won’t forget to pick it up on my way home, that’s why they’re open 24-7. OK, I’ll be home in a bit. Love you too,” Neil said with a faint sound of defeat in his voice.
“Excuse me,” a voice said from behind Neil, catching him a bit off guard. It was the unknown girl from across the bar, and Neil was the only other person outside. “Um, hi. Do you know anything about cars?” she asked, looking a little sheepish both because of her request and because she had been eavesdropping on his conversation with Jen. “I think I need a jump-start.”
Neil stared at her, slightly dumfounded, before he remembered to answer her question. “Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think I’ve got some cables in my car. Let me go pull it around next to yours,” Neil replied. He realized he was still holding onto his cell phone, and with a wry, private smile, turned it off as he put in back in his pocket and fished for his keys.

Man I love Star Wars

This post is a few days old since I got my new Star Wars trilogy DVDs on Friday. I watched the bonus disc Friday, A New Hope on Saturday, Empire Strikes Back on Sunday, and Return of the Jedi yesterday. I don't think I had watched the original movies in years, since all the attention has been on the prequels since 1999. I like the prequels, I like the story they're telling, but it's a very different type of story. But I grew up on the originals, wearing out my Betamax player, pirating them off of TV, and then finally owning the THX versions in the early '90s. There was a period of time that my brother watched one every day after school for months.

I can't imagine what it's like to be one of those people who's never seen Star Wars. I could almost, maybe, barely understand someone who hadn't seen Episodes I and II (freak), but the original trilogy is part of our cultural heritage. May the Force be with us.

Hail to the Victors!

Final Score -
Michigan: 30
Iowa: 17

Iowa fell apart in the 4th quarter, and we played like a Michigan team is supposed to. After losing to Iowa the last two years, vengeance is ours. I was glad to see Tate repeatedly sacked and eventually scared off the field. With all the talk about the 3 Michigan receivers, I think Avant has not been given the credit he deserves. Edwards does make some good catches, but he also makes some huge mistakes. I can't quote his record, but at least in my memory Jason Avant seems to be much more reliable because he's not trying to be flashy like Edwards.

Either way, Go Blue!

TOUCHDOWN!!! One good turnover deserves another... after a sloppy fumble on the goal line, we got lucky with an interception to regain the momentum. It looks like the defense can catch better than Edwards.

Well, I guess halftime is not enough time to run to winds for dinner. I'm back here at the beginning of the 4th, and it appears that Iowa scored a field goal and were answered by a Michigan touchdown.

According to the announcer, that was Iowa's fourth turnover, and now we've got the ball again. Lloyd, I know it's the 4th quarter, I know we're ahead, but don't get lazy now.

HALFTIME

Michigan: 16
Iowa: 7

And after all that, Rivas hooks the field goal.

Interception and touchdown! Michigan actually capitalized on a turnover!

TOUCHDOWN!!! Edwards actually caught a key pass!

We learned how to sack! Stay down Tate, you little bitch.

Freshman growing pains my ass. Henne, quit being a pussy and wait to the extra second to make a decent throw downfield.

HOLD ON TO THE FUCKING FOOTBALL!!!!

After getting lucky with a penalty to restsart the drive, we play typical Michigan football and decide that we don't really want to win. So, let's give the ball to Iowa.

1st play of the drive, Edwards drops a pass. Surprise, surprise you fucking hack.

3 and out is not an offensive strategy!

Running Football Commentary

Way to give up a touchdown on the Hawkeye's first drive guys. Come on defense, this isn't flag football! Sack Tate, dammit!

Should it stay or should it go?

I got a haircut a few weeks ago, and I'm not really sure how keen I am on my current floppy parted hairstyle. I balked at Wilson a month ago when he suggested I buzz it in Wilsonian fashion. But in the last week or so, I've been thinking about trying something radical, and wondered if I could pull off the buzz-job. Malis did it once, Wilson does it all the time, and it seems that a lot of the male teachers I see at Holland do the same.

So, I am eliciting responses from you, the blog-viewing public. I'm not holding this to a binding vote, but just gauging if this is a horrible idea or something others might think is worth a try.

Hey, it can always grow back.

I Can Scare Children!

Both this week and last week, I subbed about every other day for the Holland school district. Of these days, I only subbed at the high school once. Every other day, I've been at the middle schools. I have never wanted to do middle school, so I wasn't too thrilled with this at first. But as I've gone back a few times, I think I've been getting better at it.

I can put the fear of God into these kids. I raise my voice just a bit to get their attention, and they cower. What I really don't like about subbing is that it's all the parts of teaching I don't like. Instead of getting to know the kids and see them develop intellectually and personally, I spend all my time with classroom management and paperwork. But, I think I've come to terms with that, and try to have as much fun with each new class everyday. And if I have a crappy class one day, I can take a day off to regroup before taking another assignment.

And, most importantly, I'm getting paid.

My New Toy

This is my inaugural post on blogger using my new laptop. After years of wanting one, and months of actually planning to buy one, I have succeeded. Between the combination of a sale price, 0% financing for a year, and the fact that I've actually been working in the last two weeks, I bit the bullet and did it. All of you computer geeks out there who may feel the need to critique my purchase, BACK OFF. I did not just stroll into Circuit City and buy the first thing I saw. I compared Dells, HPs, Gateways, Sony Vaios, Toshibas, and IBM thinkpads to this model before I decided. I also maintained my deep and abiding hatred of Macs and Powerbooks by not even considering them.

I am loving my new computer. I spent yesterday evening getting rid of the crappy Microsoft Works package and other assorted programs that it came with, and installed Microsoft Office 2003 and a virus program that wouldn't expire in 90 days. I spent this evening transferring files from my desktop over the network while watching BBC and ABC News. Now, I'm typing this while watching Tiny Toon Adventures. In case you're wondering, it's the one where Babs seeks out Honey, the black and white female cartoon mentor she's been searching for. As a side note, it's really interesting to see Bosco and Honey as predecessors of Yakko, Wakko, and Dot.

So now I'm going to go back and rewrite my Newsletter column since something screwy happened when I used Dave's computer to e-mail it to Mike.

Am I a fair-weather fan, and if so, is that OK?

I was in Ann Arbor this weekend, staying at Dave and Tracey's apartment after Oktoberfest. I was planning to leave early Sunday afternoon, but ended up staying until the end of the Lions' game. Here at the start of the season Detroit is 2-0, and I'm excited for them. I cannot claim to have kept the faith as a Lions fan over the last 9 years I have lived in Michigan, but they have been the only NFL team I have even loosely followed. I catch a few games here and there, we always watch the Thanksgiving game at my Grandparents' house, and so I'd like to be able to follow the team more closely and support them more vocally this season without being branded as a fair-weather fan.

This summer I watched the NBA finals, and cheered for the Pistons over the Lakers. I don't watch basketball at all, but wanted to support the hometown boys and denounce the egos and assholes from Los Angeles. Living at 1213 and having numerous friends obsessed with hockey, I could not resist the pull of the Red Wings in 2002, and have been watching since then (except for this year, apparently... see previous post). I kept a tally of the Tigers' record on my board when I was teaching last spring, but would not consider myself a huge fan of baseball.

No matter how much I may ever get into watching sports, I will never be one to memorize statistics or player profiles. I don't watch the draft, and really I'm just happy that I can understand what's going on on the field most of the game. That's what kind of sports fan I am. I do not own any Lions merchandise, and I don't plan on running out and buying any. I do own a Red Wings hat, but otherwise the only team gear I have is for U of M. All that being said, what's the verdict?

Breaking the Ice

I should have known it would actually happen. After hearing about it ever since the post-season, the NHL has officially gone on strike. And while I am sad about that, the feeling is overridden by how much I am pissed off at the players for this. "Oh no, I'm only going to be making $1.3 Million instead of $1.8 Million." Yes, I know it's a tragedy. I know how hard it is to make ends meet when you're only pulling in a little over $1 million a year. They won't even entertain a salary cap. Fucking grow up. You're getting paid more than 95% of the population to play a game. What pisses me off about this even more is the timeline of previous players' strikes in other sports listed at the bottom of the article. Most of these assholes who think they deserve more money despite the fact that they're not playing any better are probably taking in twice that much on Gatorade and Nike ads.

Back to the NHL, though, I really would not be disappointed to see half the teams in the NHL eliminated. My rule has always been, if it doesn't snow in your hometown, you don't deserve a hockey team. Carolina Hurricanes my ass. Give Hartford back The Whale... It's a sad truth that the expansion teams were all losing money because Hockey is always going to rank below the NFL, NBA, and MLB in much of the country. But for those of us in the Great White North, cut out the riff raff, bitch slap the greedy whiny players, and drop the puck.

Hail to the Chief

I got to see President Bush speak in Holland this afternoon. Woot! I had heard about it Saturday night, but figured that hearing about it that late meant there was no chance to be able to attend. But, last night my mom saw on the news that tickets were still available, so I went down to the Holland Republican headquarters and got myself a ticket.

I'm sure the whole event was monitored by a score of federal agents, but security seemed fairly low key. They checked my ID and ticket, I walked through a metal detector, but that was about it. I chose not to pick up a free flag or sign in order to keep my hands free for my camera, and because it would have been annoying trying to carry it back on my bike. But, there were 12,000 other people around me with Bush signs and cardboard Ws, so it was still an impressive show.

I got there about 11:00, and the President was scheduled to come on stage at 2:00. The rally began with a few speeches by a local Iraq veteran, the mayor, assorted state politicians, and some Congressional representatives from surrounding areas. The big musical act was a Country group, which I wasn't thrilled about but which didn't bother me too much. The President actually arrived 40 minutes early, and they played the music from Air Force One as the motorcade pulled up.

I like President Bush, and today made me like him even more. He got off the bus wearing trousers and a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He thanked us for our Dutch hospitality, and got into his speech. He didn't have a teleprompter. but spoke for about half an hour about all of his major platform issues. As an audience we'd pause every now and then and yell "4 more years", just cheer and applaud, or yell "Flip-Flop" with hand gestures when he got a jab in at Kerry.

As I left I saw that all 7 Democrats in Holland had turned out to protest. Damn dirty hippies. They had signs that said "Don't Worry - Vote Kerry." Newsflash - "Worry" and "Kerry" don't rhyme, I don't care if Mikhail Moore told you they did. I know it'd be easier to stand for something about Kerry if Kerry stood for anything, but it's too late for you to convince me.

Lions and Spartans and Wolverines... oh my!

Went to East Lansing this weekend to tailgate with my brother and the visiting Malis for MSU's home opener. We didn't have tickets to the game, and I didn't tailgate like a Spartan, but it was a good time nonetheless. Being in my brother's new house on campus, I can't say I felt nostalgic for 1213 at all. One nice thing about living in my parents' house... at least it's clean.

I could really have cared less about the outcome of MSU's game against CMU, I was just killing time until the Michigan game. And wow, did I get my hopes up only to be dashed in the 2nd half on that one. We did not play well by any definition of the word in the 1st half, but it was exponentially better than the 2nd half. While I can't really say that I was excited by Henne's performance, it was a welcome change from Navarre. He was no star, but he did a passable job. I do not blame him for the loss. I blame whoever was making the calls on offense and Braylon Edwards.

I don't claim to be an expert on football by any means. I'm just happy that I can understand what's going on during the game. That being said, I'm pretty sure that it's not a sound game plan to run the ball in the same pattern infinite times without gaining any yards. Maybe that's just me, but I'm pretty sure you can also throw the ball. Well, that is if you have someone who can catch it.

I read some article before the season started about how this year Michigan supposedly has the greatest 3 receivers to have ever lived. Maybe it's the same as the rest of the sports world's inability to see how terrible Navarre was as clearly as those of us in Ann Arbor, but there's no way this kind of hype can stand up against Saturday's performance. I think Breaston and Avant made a few important catches and played fairly well, but Braylon Edwards needs to sit the fuck down. If he was half as good as he thinks he is we'd be ok, but instead old butterfingers is going to spend the entire season mouthing off and costing us games.

In other news, I'm not sure what to do about the Lions. Growing up in St. Louis in the limbo between the Cardinals move to Phoenix and the Ram's move to St. Louis, I never had an NFL team to root for. When I moved to Michigan, the Lions were 4 hours from Holland and not really drawing a huge following. I have never wished ill upon the Lions, and always supported them in spirit as the hometown boys if not in actual following during the season. I want them to keep winning, but I don't want to be a fair-weather fan who jumps on only after a few Ws on the score sheet.

Holy Shit... Animaniacs!!!

For those of you just tuning in, it seems fairly certain that I have no chance at full time employment this fall. To any random new teachers who have jobs and happen upon this blog, you suck and I hate you. I hope your students make you cry, run screaming from the profession, and give me your job. Nonetheless, I am trying to make peace with my surroundings and look at the bright side.

I will admit that living with my parents does have the built in niceties of free room and board, utilities, and free laundry. Though it is often part of some weird temporary diet attempt, I do get free food as well. But perhaps the greatest luxury I have access to is digital cable on my dad's 54" TV with surround sound. While flipping through channels waiting for Adult Swim, I found one of the long thought lost treasures of television animation.

Animaniacs.

Channel 104 is the Nickelodeon cartoons (Nicktoons) channel, and apparently they have the rights to Animaniacs. I had heard rumours of it being played on the regular Nickelodeon at like 3 AM years ago, but had never found it. And so now, in my exile, I have found another brief avenue of animated escapism. Upon further examination of the programming lineup, I also discovered that Animaniacs is preceded by Tiny Toons, and followed by Pinky and the Brain.

And so now, weekday evenings at 9:00, I can go to my happy place. Or Acme Acres and the Warner Brothers Studio lot... does your happy place have Hello Nurse? I didn't think so.

This is not a good start...

Went to a boring-ass pointless Substitute Teacher Orientation for 4 hours this morning. Yes, it means that should I conceivably get a subbing job (ever) I will get an extra $10 a day for having sat through this bullshit. And yet, the fact that I have been thrice certified as a teacher by the State of Michigan does not entitle me to more money and/or acknowledgement than other subs who have met the bare minimum of 90 college credits. So, there is a good possibility that after 4 1/2 years at the University of Michigan, I can lose out on jobs to community college drop-outs.

I don't mean to disparage those of you who attended community colleges... Lord knows that I don't feel like the exponentially extra cost of U of M really meant that much of a difference in education, but it's the principle of the thing. I don't want to be one of those high-and-mighty "I went to Michigan" pricks that we were all surrounded by in Ann Arbor, but where's all the networking and recognition that's supposed to come with putting up with a bunch of assholes from Long Island for 5 years? We're all told from the cradle to the unemployment line that if you do well in school and go to a good college, you're supposed to have earned a good job.

Well, I'll believe it when I see it.

Back home and bored

The trip to Chicago did not go as planned on the previous post, but it was a good time nonetheless. We didn't do all the things we had originally intended, but that's fine with me. I often feel like I should be going out and doing more exciting and adventurous things, but when it's just me and friends together goofing off I have just as much fun as any tourist trap or hot new attraction to go to. The scenery may change, but the characters stay the same, and to me that's what counts.

While in Chicago my friend Joe lent me his copy of the 9/11 Commission Report, and I've been unable to put it down since I started just skimming the first chapter. Maybe it's the social studies and history teacher in me, but I finish one chapter and I can't wait to go onto the next. And what this book has also reinforced is how much I really hate all of the liberal media conspiracy bullshit that's been going on for years. All of these half-wits who have taken Michael Moore as their patron saint need to stop being liberal just because it's the latest fad and start thinking for themselves.

I feel a big political rant coming, but I don't think I'll get into it tonight. As we draw closer to the election, I'm sure there will come a breaking point which will result in said rant.

By this time tomorrow, I'll be at the bars in Chicago

Going to Chi-Town for the weekend. Tentative schedule sounds like this:
Day1
- Wait for all parties to arrive
- Head to Chinatown for dinner
- Head to nightclub to pick up chicks (place your bets on that one now)

Day 2
- Round of golf
- Lunch at Ditka's
- White Sox Game
- Unknown drinking most likely to follow

Day 3
- Face the wrath of I-290 and I-94 to get back to Holland

I love the Future(ama)

God bless you Mike Wilson.

You reintroduced me to Futurama, and it's a beautiful thing. Before I get too far into this, let me say that any episode of Futurama is better than any episode of Family Guy, no contest. That being said, I just finished watching what may be one of the greatest episodes ever made. "Luck of the Fryrish", which I think even won an Emmy, was on tonight. I'd like to see Seth McFarlane write an episode with as much actual humor and 1/1oth the heart this episode had. Oh wait, there aren't any Simpsons episodes to rip off in order to do that.

Being home without anything to really do until I either actually get a job or start getting sub calls, I can actually watch Adult Swim again. By Adult Swim, I mean half-watching Family Guy until Futurama is on, and then maybe watching Sea Lab 2021.

Well, the last bastion of hope for my fall employment is a school named Belding. Maybe it's a sign that there's a high school named for the principal on Saved By The Bell... They want someone with a degree in Social Studies and at least one other related field, and I have the additional majors of Psychology and History. Hopefully that will finally count for something.